


Found Wanting - Hissrad's Tool

by Whispers_of_Black



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anal Sex, Bas-Saarebas, Ben-Hassrath, Bondage, Eventual Romance, Evil Bull, Falling In Love, Forced Orgasm, Gang Rape, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Non lethal poison, Not Canon Compliant, Protectiveness, Qun-Loyal Iron Bull, Rape Aftermath, Recovery, Rescue, Sexual Slavery, fenrian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 15:44:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 43
Words: 58,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14216433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whispers_of_Black/pseuds/Whispers_of_Black
Summary: Hissrad catches a mage in the Free Marches. During his interrogation he decides he doesn't need a saarabas, he has other plans. An unlikely rescuer stumbles on the Avaraad camp and can't walk away.*Please read all tags. There will be no other content warnings.Chapters one and two were written by Write_and_Wrong. Chapter 3 and everything that follows is written by me.*My expansion does not follow the original plot.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Found Wanting](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3311837) by [Write_and_Wrong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Write_and_Wrong/pseuds/Write_and_Wrong). 



The Ben-Hassrath had gagged the mage after several hours of cyclical beatings and healings. Usually doing as such would have been detrimental to his cause but he had a ways to go on this one yet; that, and the 'vint seemed to use his own voice as a tether, a safety net on which to fall, to catch himself. To hold onto himself with. The Ben-Hassrath could not allow this, of course.

He smiled to himself as he watched the taut muscles lining his captive's abdomen clench and release as he writhed. The cocky ones usually snapped quickly, arrogance holding little sway once the pain began, but this young mage from Tevinter had surprised him. The human was naked, lashed down to the table in the interrogation room, legs spread wide and wrists bound together and stretched above his head. The sar-Qamek--very diluted--had been administered ten minutes prior. It had taken twenty-seven seconds for the mage to begin sweating, forty-two for him to begin moaning, and seventy-eight for him to begin roiling in his bonds, struggling to get free of both the agony and the visions the drug caused. Now, he was little more than a shivering, stretched-thin mess.

If the sounds that managed to escape those delicious lips past the gag happened to make the re-educator hard, he chocked it up as a happy side effect to being diligent with his ministrations. Anaan esaam Qun.

Coating two fingers, first in the antidote, secondly in oil, The Ben-Hassrath advanced on his prey and shoved those two fingers mercilessly inside him. The mage's eyes snapped open as a long, keening cry of pain ripped loose from his throat, muffled beneath cloth and cord.

Whimpering, tears stained with kohl coursing down pink-flushed cheeks, the mage became more and more lucid as the drug subsided. He tore at his wrists and the ropes binding them so fiercely they started to bleed, forgetting the binds on his ankles holding him directly where his Qunari tormentor wanted him. The fingers probed and stretched, heat searing him in personal places his captor had already defiled previously with his digits; a rod dipped in poison; his tongue.

The Qunari smiled, watching the mage sag to the tabletop when he removed his fingers. The human was so relieved he did not feel the rope holding his wrists gain give, nor the gentle tug that brought his knees forward to drop over the side. He did not notice anything besides his momentary reprieve. That changed suddenly, explosively, when Dorian felt himself get pulled up against something huge, something warm and throbbing and blunt.

The burn was white-hot and sudden; the pressure unrelenting and painful. It took him less than a second of the violation to begin screaming.

The Ben-Hassrath's smile widened as the mage's body did, helpless to stop himself getting impaled on the Qunari's erection but trying to regardless. The captor was again surprised as his subject tried to fight his way free; one loop of the rope from his wrists around his throat, though, and the 'vint lost all ability to struggle and most of his air to boot, tied arms bent up awkwardly and nestled snugly against the back of his neck, elbows angled skyward in a crude imitation of his own horns.

The big Qunari clenched one tan thigh and this perfect thing made broken in his hands. Broken, but not broken enough; there was still spirit, still hope, in the beautiful mage. It was clear in the struggling, the fear and fury in the grey eyes, the refusal to break.

Oh, the 'vint would break, but not soon. No, not soon at all. The Ben-Hassrath, smiling to himself, would make sure of it.

 

  
_*written by Write_and_Wrong_

 


	2. Chapter 2

He called himself "Bull" in his head. Partly because of the set of his horns; partly because of a nickname his old Tamassaran had called him in the quiet moments; but mostly as a joke. It rolled off the tongue easier than Ben-Hassrath, or even Hissrad. All three applied but under the Qun, only the latter two mattered.

"Tell me about your family, little mage."

"There is nothing to tell," Dorian snarled, vehement despite the sweat on his skin and the blush creeping over his dark skin. His grey eyes smoldered, proud beyond all rationality given his situation. Bull frowned and grabbed one caramel-colored nipple between his fingers, pinching just a little too hard. The 'vint bit his lip to avoid reacting... which worked, until Bull's fingers started to twist and forced a strangled gasp out of Dorian, who writhed to escape the sensation.

The interrogator was reclined just slightly, pillows propped between his back and the wall. He wasn't clothed-; he had no need to be for if he opted to fuck his charge later it would require an extra step to undress. For now, more carnal punishment wasn't necessary. He had the 'vint exactly where he wanted him: ankles bound tightly to his thighs, wrists similarly pulled down and back and tied to his ankles, naked and straddling the Qunari's waist. The bindings left him unable to move beyond the squirming Bull elicited with his assaults: small, precise movements that would eek the mage's control out from under him.

The cincher, of course, was that Bull had spent a while playing with Dorian before they'd gotten to work, pinning the struggling human against the thin sheets of his bed and forcing him into readiness. The Qunari had let the man fight him at first, let him thrash and punch and spit, let him feel like he was actually giving it his best effort. Dorian was very well built for a magic user, his lean form a study in toned musculature from tip to toe. Those muscles had been laughingly insufficient to stop Bull from eventually using his sheer size to bring the mage to heel, tying his hands but not yet questioning.

No, he'd kissed the human first, tongue forcing itself between startled, full lips before being bitten rather nastily by his charge. A large hand clamped around Dorian's throat, squeezing 'til he saw stars had gotten him to lay off biting (albeit not struggling) as the Qunari's heavy thigh forced his apart. Bull had growled in desire, deep rumble reverberating in the mage's open mouth. Dorian shuddered and tried to kick the Ben-Hassrath off of him. As punishment, Bull spent the next quarter hour teasing the mage's genitals with hands that were as clever as they were strong, forcing the mage to hardness until his retorts had faded to simpering moans. He'd brought Dorian to the brink and then had brought in the tortuous element: a tight band around the base of the 'vint's cock that held all the blood where it was and kept him teetering when he wanted release.

That was when Bull began his questioning. Every biting comment that Dorian spat got him a pinch or caress or tease, never in the area he needed it, though. For the mage, this exercise was a war against himself. He could talk, or he would get more discomfort. His member was throbbing and purple, so hard it hurt. Bull of course gave him not one second of relief.

"Come now, little mage," he laughed quietly at his own taunt, "I'm just asking who your family is, where you're from. These are the easy questions.” _The ones I already know the answers to._

"Fuck you," Dorian snarled, the last syllable sliding into a groan as the Ben-Hassrath dug blunt nails into his hips and dragged his fingers around to clutch both the mage's perfect cheeks.

"Think you have that backwards, 'vint," Bull growled, teeth bared in a feral grin.

 

 

_*written by Write_and_Wrong_


	3. Chapter 3

Dorian's mouth slammed shut, his eyes pools of rage and fear as Bull pushed the head of his cock just inside his tight ring of muscle. Bull held it there, not moving, watching as Dorian fought both himself and the intrusion to keep from reacting to what was about to happen.

Bull growled deep in his throat as the mage's channel tightened around the head of his cock even as  the Vint fought not to. The small whimpers and groans of protest were setting the Ben-Hasrath's blood on fire. "Come now vint. This doesn't have to be hard." He teased, shifting his weight and digging his fingers harder into Dorian's cheeks, positioning the mage's opening perfectly over his throbbing cock.

Dorian growled but kept his lips tightly closed, squeezing his eyes shut against Bull's lust-filled gaze. Bull growled with unmistakable desire; Dorian's skin was hot and trembling with the need for a release he fought to ignore. It made him want to fuck the mage even more. He was enjoying Dorian's struggles, the panic and rage in his eyes adding fuel to the heat in the Ben-Hasrath's veins. He tightened his grip on Dorian's hips, holding him in place as he shoved his cock up and in while forcing the mage's hips down in a single thrust, sheathing himself fully in Dorian's tight passage.

The mage screamed, his eyes flying open in pain even though he'd known what was coming. He struggled in the Bull's grip, even knowing the futility of it, which only inflamed the qunari more, spurring him to fuck the mage with abandon, grunting with effort while Dorian cried his protests. "Now you're fucking yourself Vint." Bull growled, capturing his mouth in a sloppy kiss. The mage whimpered as Bull held himself flush with the mage's ass, growling into his neck before he bit him.

The Vint's eyes were glassy with pain, tears streaming down his cheeks as Bull dug his fingers harder into his hips, forcing him up and down, making the mage fuck him while his own swollen cock slapped painfully against his clenched abdomen. The sight of the bound mage forced to ride him had Bull growling and panting with hunger. The defiance in the Vint's eyes made him fuck Dorian faster, burying himself deeper with every thrust.

He came with a violent shudder, exploding his release inside the Vint's body, Dorian's cheeks streaked with tears and sweat, his cock still throbbing between them. The Vint sagged in his arms as much as his restraints allowed as Bull lifted him off his cock and set him on the floor on his knees, his cheek pressed into the floor while the Ben-Hasrath's seed dribbled down his quivering thighs.

Bull stood, cleaned himself up and looked down at the mage on the floor. He wasn't making much of any sound and he felt his chest tighten. He lifted the mage up and put him on the bed, still restrained and watched him a moment. Eyes closed, Dorian's breathing was ragged and his skin was sweat soaked. Bull put an ear to the mage's chest and swore under his breath. Dorian's heart was racing and uneven, coming in harsh beats and thready pulses. Shit.

Breath held, he undid the restraint on the mage's cock before removing the rest of Dorian's bonds. He secured the mage's wrists to the bedposts and settled beside him on the bed to wait. After a few minutes Dorian stirred, his eyes blinking open but they were glassy and unfocused a moment longer. The muscles in his jaw clenched as he caught sight of Bull and he snarled, renewing his struggles.

Bull chuckled and took Dorian's cock in his meaty palm, drawing a keening cry of pain from his captive. A few strokes later and the mage's muscles contracted, his eyelids fluttering, overwhelmed by sensation as his body released his delayed orgasm and ropes of fluid painted his naked chest. Dorian trembled uncontrollably, his eyes filled with hate as Bull rose from the bed and cleaned his hand on a rag.

"That was a courtesy mage. Pretty sure you were about to die. Don't expect me to do it again."

He left Dorian panting curses at him in Tevene through parched lips, his voice too hoarse to shout. His own come was left to dry on his chest, further adding to the mage's helplessness and defilement.

  
  


 


	4. Chapter 4

He'd had the mage eight days now and still Dorian was fighting. He'd so far only given up his name. Though only after he'd taken him hard five more times, beaten and healed him for another full day and then given him to his apprentices for several hours of use.

The mage returned; shaking, tears staining his cheeks and sporting a multitude of new and colourful bruises on his thighs, hips and throat. After forcing a healing potion down the Vint's throat he secured him to the wall. Arms stretched above his head, his collar fastened to a hook on the wall, forcing him to keep his neck straight or choke.

It was clear Dorian was reaching his breaking point, but still there was that glint of defiance and fury hidden in his grey pools. He'd gotten better at hiding it, but Bull could still see it. He saw it now, his cock buried deep in Dorian's passage as he held his legs up over his hips and thrust inside him.

"Come now Dorian. You and I both know it's only a matter of time before you break. Why not make it easy on yourself? Tell me what I want to know and this can stop."

"I have nothing to say." Dorian growled, eyes tight and his jaw clenching with Bull's every thrust.

Bull laughed. "That's not true. You've plenty to say, just not what I need to hear."

Dorian said nothing as Bull caressed his fingers over the mage's throbbing cock making him flinch and clench his muscles around Bull's intrusion. It had become a game, a test of wills. Bull had stopped restraining Dorian's cock two days ago, finding the mage was more enticing and pliant when he fought both his own arousal and the violation of his body.

He was also more fun to play with this way. He'd never enjoyed a re-education subject more than when he'd been given the Vint. He no longer cared to re-educate him. Anaan esaam qun be damned. He was going to keep the mage as his personal toy and as a reward for his men. There was nothing better than giving Dorian to someone else than when the mage came back, a pliant and willing captive. Especially when Bull promised not to give him away again. It surprised him that Dorian would believe him on these occasions when they both knew Bull was lying.

He came as Dorian's body continued to clench around him, sweat beading on his forehaed, his abdominals tight as he fought not to react to Bull's fondling. He pulled out, enjoying the wince of pain and disgust that flashed through the Vint's eyes as he grabbed a rag to clean up with, his seed traling white streams down Dorian's spread thighs.

"You're such a pretty Vint." Bull cooed, trailing his fingers over Dorian's chest, smiling when his nipples hardened. He carded his other hand through the Vint's ebony locks, petting him like a favoured pet and drawing an expected growl from Dorian's throat. "And so predictable. You're gonna have to work on your sounds mage. I know all your secrets. Every spot on your naked flesh that will draw a reaction from you."

Bull's eyes grew thoughtful as he continued to fondle his captive, the mage's cock swelling with arousal, hardening and lengthening under his hand. "I think I've just thought of the perfect use for you. Educating the apprentices."

Dorian groaned and tried to wrench himself free of Bull's hand, his eyes wide and angry and tinged with fear. Bull's smile was feral as he tightening his grip on Dorian's cock, his other hand shoving three fingers inside the mage's slick passage. He fucked him with his fingers in time with his strokes, smiling in triumph when Dorian jerked in his restraints, spilling his seed all over the qunari's hand.

"Yeah. You'll make a perfect example of defiance and control. I get to push all your buttons while educating my men on how to recognize your reactions and what they mean. We'll start tomorrow I think." Bull said, enjoying the fear his words sparked in Dorian's eyes. "You'd like that wouldn't you vint? An audience to your depravity and violation?"

"Never." Dorian croaked, though his voice was weak from use and lack of regular meals.

Bull laughed again as he released him from the wall and secured him to the bed, arms and legs splayed. "Not yet. But you will."

  
  


 


	5. Chapter 5

Bull had arranged Dorian on the same table he'd first interrogated him on. Legs spread wide, arms tied above his head and a gag forced between his lips. The Vint was sweating profusely, his back arching, straining against his bonds while Bull violated him with a hard rod, fixed with a handle and liberally coated with oil and a new potion the re-educators had given him. A powerful aphrodisiac when applied to a captive's most sensitive areas had them writhing in painful arousal within minutes of application.

"See how he fights?" Bull asked the four qunari agents who crowded around the table. "He's gone longer than this without release as his will is strong. But do this..." Bull stroked a finger up the back of Dorain's cock drawing a low moan from the mage. "And he'll perform for you whether he wills it or not."

"He's certainly a fighter." One of the Arvaarad noted, sounding bored. "Does he not frustrate you with his insolence?"

"On the contrary. His insolence is what makes him the perfect tool. It's all he is now. A tool for education and use." Bull said, stepping out from between Dorian's spread thighs, leaving the rod protruding from the mage's backside. "Here. Take over and watch him closely."

Arvaarad grunted and took hold of the rod, pumping it in and out of the sarrabas' passage with an air of boredom. He watched as the mage arched and writhed against the table, fighting his bonds and still trying to draw his body away from the intrusion, even knowing his efforts were futile. Despite his detachment, Arvaarad found himself growing hard as he watched the sweat-drenched saraabas struggle beneath his ministrations.

Bull chuckled deep in his throat, a knowing glint in his eye. "If you want him, take him. It's his purpose. The qun demands he fulfill his purpose. Who are we to deny him?"

Arvaarad grunted and freed his hard length from his breeches. He pulled the rod free of the mage's passage, letting it clatter to the ground as he shoved his wider girth inside the Vint's tight opening. The sarrabas writhed and cried out behind his gag as Arvaarad shoved the stimulating potion deeper inside the mage's body with his thrusts, the traces of potion overwhelming him as he fucked the Vint hard. The slap of flesh filled the room as the Arvaarad increased his thrusts, the other qunari moaning as they each freed their cocks and stroked themselves over the Vint's sweat soaked form.

Bull stepped around them and moved to Dorian's other side, watching with growing hunger as the apprentices grew hard. Sweat beaded on their foreheads, growls issuing from their throats as they stroked their hands over hard cocks in time with the one thrusting inside  the straining mage.

Dorian's face was red with humiliation and fear, silent tears streaming from the corners of his eyes as Arvaarad continued to plunder his hole. His breathing was ragged as Bull closed his hand over the Vint's cock and started stroking him. Soon all of the Arvaarads were groaning and crying out their release, ropes of fluid painting the mage's chest and abdomen as the one buried inside him gave a final hard thrust and trembled above him, filling the Vint's body with his seed. Dorian's seed joined the mess on his chest and he choked off a muffled sob as Arvaarad pulled out of him.

The others took a minute to tuck themselves back into their breeches, gave Hissrad a nod of appreciation and left him alone with the quivering Vint. Bull grabbed a cloth to wipe his hand, and followed them out, abandoning Dorian to his trembling and tears.

After a much needed ale to wet his parched throat, Bull returned to where the Vint was still restrained, the sight of him defiled making him instantly hard. He growled and wiped the Vint's thighs and buttocks clean before shoving oil slicked fingers inside him. The mage cried out from behind his gag renewing his struggles, the movement fuelling the Bull's arousal as he removed his fingers and shoved his hard cock inside him. He was loose from his earlier use by the younger Arvaarad, but it didn't dampen Bull's arousal in the least as he dragged his cock over the mage's over-stimulated prostate.

Dorian flinched and fought, the ropes at his wrists cutting into his flesh and drawing tiny beads of blood to trail down his arms. The sight further fuelled Bull's lust and he pounded into his captive hard. Once, twice and three more times before holding himself flush with the mage's ass as he shot his seed deep into the Vint's body.

"You're a perfect toy now Dorian." Bull said, clucking his tongue in approval and earning him another whimpering growl from the mage. He cleaned himself up before removing the Vint's restraints. "Perfect." He said again. "But all toys need to be clean. Time for a good scrubbing I think."

Dorian tensed in Bull's arms as he lifted him from the table, arms and ankles bound together and tossed him over his shoulder as he slapped a possessive hand to his bruised backside making him flinch and utter a sharp cry of pain. "Now, now. I'm sure that noble breeding of yours will appreciate a good cleaning. Likely it's driving you mad with the filth you're covered in, though it looks positively delightful on a spoiled noble like yourself."


	6. Chapter 6

When he'd entered the forest on the outskirts north of Tantervale he hadn't expected to stumble over an encampment of Qunari. The group was small, but he recognized them for what they were, Ben-Hasrath re-educators.

His lip curled in disgust. Though it had nothing to do with him or his current goal, their presence here in the Free Marches couldn't be ignored. He'd seen enough of what happened to those the re-educators got hold of to give him nightmares of his own. He had no desire to take on several Arvaarads alone, but he had no choice.

He'd watched for a full day to be sure of what he would face. The qunari agents came and went from a small building, hidden in the rocks and clearly leading back into an old mining cave. From his count there were five of them, their leader the biggest Qunari he'd ever laid eyes on. Further observation confirmed his suspicions that they had a captive they were working on even as he waited with growing impatience for the right time to strike.

After taking stock of how far they moved away from the cave opening, he climbed a tree and concealed himself while he waited for nightfall. A few hours after dark, two of the Avaarad passed beneath him, murmuring to each other in qunlat.

"It is wrong." One was saying to his partner. "Hissrad is not following the qun."

The other Avaarad grunted. "Wrong or not he is Sten of the Arvaarad and Hissrad. Will you defy him and doom us all?"

"He should not be taking a saraabas as a toy. Sarrabas are dangerous without proper training. He could have infected Hissrad with his demons. How would we know?"

"You go too far Avaarad. I will not listen to your traitorous words. You are talking like Tal-Vashoth."

The hidden figure hissed through his teeth at the qunari's words. Venedhis. The large qunari was... leashing a mage for personal amusement? This was wrong no matter how he felt about magic and mages. He had to get the mage out.

"I am no Tal-Vashoth." The first qunari growled. "I am stating a concern."

"Keep your concern. I'm going back to get my own taste of the saraabas. The others should be finished by now."

"Do what you will."

The hidden figure waited several minutes after the Arvaarad disappeared through the door to the cave. Teeth clenched in anger, his mind filled with outrage over what the Qunari had been discussing. He dropped from the tree, blue light piercing the darkness as he phased through the one standing beneath him. The Avaarad had no time to react as he took a single step back and phased his fist through the qunari's heart, letting the body fall lifeless to the ground.

A sound near the cave entrance froze him in place and he dropped into a crouch.  He could see the giant qunari arguing with another at his side, his face pulled into an angry grimace as he regarded the other with rage. "I said no one touches him while I'm gone. You question me? Do you defy the qun?"

"This is not the qun way."

The larger Qunari glared at the smaller one and without warning his hand shot out, clamping around the other's throat in a vice-like grip. The smaller qunari's eyes went wide with surprise as Hissrad choked the life from him. Another qunari appeared in the doorway, taking in the dead Avaarad on the ground and Hissrad's cold glare.

"I will return. I expect the Sarrabas to be in the same condition as I left him." He growled. "And get rid of that." He added, kicking the body at his feet.

"It will be done Hissrad."

"Good. I should be back by dawn. Do not fail me as this one did."

"I will not."

The hidden figure waited a beat before slipping back into the shadows to follow the departing qunari and to ensure he was truly leaving. He followed for half a mile before doubling back, the other qunari having returned to the cave, taking the body with him.

He slipped inside, taking a moment to let his eyes adjust to the dark passage before moving forward on silent feet. He heard the qunari before he saw them. Clearly they too were arguing, though without much conviction as one of them kicked at their dead companion. The other growled and stormed off as the hidden figure peered around the opening to the room, the second qunari leaving through a door on the far side of the small space. The remaining Qunari glared down at the body at his feet while the elf crept behind him, phasing his hand through the Avaarad's chest and pulling his still beating heart out.

The body crumpled to the ground, the elf already moving to the second door to press an ear to the crack. Hearing nothing, he slipped into the dark passage and continued forward, stopping when he heard a voice.

"Hissrad is wrong. You are sarrabas. A dangerous and vile thing. It is my belief you have corrupted Hissrad with your demon tongue. I will take great pleasure in cutting it out when he returns and the Tamrassan correct him."

There was no response from whoever the Avaarad addressed and the elf assumed their captive must be gagged. The qunari grunted in frustration and then came the sound of flesh slapping against flesh and the elf ground his teeth in anger. He knew what sight would greet him when he entered that room and was not looking forward to it. But he also knew what the sounds meant and refused to allow it to continue.

Drawing his blade, he crept forward and peered around the doorway, the sight setting his anger burning anew. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, he tightened his grip on his sword and stepped over the threshold, sword raised. The Avaarad was buried inside the mage, oblivious to the elf's presence. With a snarl, he grabbed the qunari's shoulder, pulling him off the mage as he swung his sword in an arc and severed the man's head in one smooth stroke.

Arterial blood shot skyward a moment before the weight of the qunari's body dropped it to the ground in a loud thump. He flicked his eyes to the bound mage whose body was littered with bruises. The mage's eyes had drifted closed and though he could see he was trying to fight it, his eyelids fluttered a second more before closing completely as he lost consciousness.

  
  


 


	7. Chapter 7

While the mage slept, he made a thorough sweep of the rooms for healing potions, clothing, blankets and the key to the mage's collar. He looted the bodies for anything useful, putting everything he found into a large sack he discovered near the cave entrance.

Moving fast, he took the sack outside and carried it three miles away before he returned to the cave and the mage. The dusky-skinned human was still out cold and remained so as he freed him from his bonds and dressed him in a loose tunic and breeches. He would have preferred to administer some healing potions before attempting to move him, but there was no time.

With a grunt of effort he lifted the mage, cradling his limp yet surprisingly muscled body in his arms and left the cave. He activated his markings and was picking up the sack minutes later as he continued to move west away from the Qunari camp. After he'd gone ten miles by his estimation, he came upon a clearing near a small stream. He laid  the unconscious mage down and got to work lighting a small fire and arranging blankets and bedding on the ground a few feet away from it.

The mage didn't stir as he settled him among the blankets and covered his sleeping form with another. He got to his feet and headed to the stream to collect water and wash the blood from his weapon and armour. When he returned, he dug through his looted possessions for potions and the key to the mage collar and placed them on a flat rock nearby.

Satisfied with his meagre preparations, he dug through his personal satchel and pulled out a near full bottle of brandy. He drank deeply before stoppering it to stare at the sleeping mage. He was clearly a Vint with his dark colouring and even darker hair colour.

The circles under the mage's eyes made him wonder how long he'd been the qunari's captive. He then wondered what a Vint was doing this far south in the first place. He'd found a small bag in his search of the cave, obviously expensive which meant noble and he looked through it now as the mage slept on. Inside was an amulet he recognized as a birthright and felt his chest tighten in a mix of anger and surprise. An Altus? Here? Venedhis who was this Vint?

The Vint groaned and the elf dropped the amulet and shoved the bag back inside the satchel. He watched, breath held as the mage tensed and sat up, eyes wild and filled with panic as he took in his surroundings. His gaze landed on the elf and he scrambled backwards, fear radiating from him like heat on the air.

The elf remained seated, waiting for for the mage to calm his breathing when he spoke, his voice rough from disuse. "Where am I? Who are you? What's going on?" He stammered, his eyes searching the clearing for an escape. The elf sucked in a sharp breath. Maker, the mage's voice was like sin and honey, even dry as it was and it pulled at him in ways he didn't quite understand.

"You're in a forest west of the Qunari camp where I found you. They're all dead except for their leader. I entered when he left. I heard him say he'd be back by dawn."

The mage blinked several times as though he couldn't process what he'd heard. He shook his head and blinked again, noticing he was clothed and a blush went up his cheeks. The mage cleared his throat once, then twice and tried to speak again but all that came out was a dry croak.

The elf got to his feet and handed him a tin mug of water and a waterskin before returning to his place by the fire. "There is a stream over there." He said, pointing a finger into the dark. "If you wish to wash your hands and face."

The mage grunted as he drained a second mug of water and got to his feet, swaying as he righted himself. The elf was at his side in an instant, putting a firm hand to the Vint's back and ignoring the sudden flinch and cry of protest he made.

"Hush mage. You are in danger of falling where you stand. You need assistance if you do not wish to add to your injuries."

The mage flinched again at the reminder of where he'd been but allowed the elf to guide him to the stream. "I will return in twenty minutes to assist you back to the fire." He said, placing a bar of soap and his pilfered towels on the ground by the mage's feet. The mage nodded, his arms hugging his knees to his chest as he waited for the elf to depart.

The sounds of splashing water and the occasional bitten off cry of pain reached him as he set a pot of water to boil. When the sound of splashing faded, he rose and returned to the mage's side where the Vint was having trouble getting his feet back under him. He offered his hand and the mage hesitated for a heartbeat before taking it and letting him pull him upright. Together they went back to the fire, the elf settling the mage on the blankets before handing him a mug of brandy. "Drink this. It will help."

The mage sniffed at it in suspicion, sipping slowly before downing the  entire thing and letting the mug fall from his hand as he finished.

"Am I to understand you... rescued me then?" The mage asked, his eyes glued to the fire.

"I did."

"May I ask why?"

The elf frowned. "Is there some reason why I shouldn't have?"

"It's my understanding that mages are feared in the southern lands. And you are no simple elf what with those markings. If you're who I think you are, I'm surprised you bothered at all."

"And who do you think I am?"

"If the description by that dwarven author is accurate, then you're Fenris. The same elf who spent ten years with the Champion and killed his former master by putting your hand through his chest."

"Venhedis." The elf swore. "Blasted dwarf."

The mage's eyes widened in surprise. "So you are him." He sighed. "Should I let you kill me now or would you prefer me unconscious first?"

Fenris glared at the mage. "Why would I rescue you only to kill you?"

The mage shrugged and continued staring into the fire. "From what I've read and heard about you, the only good mage is a dead one. I'm sure you were surprised to find a mage in qunari hands. Likely didn't plan on that so I'd guess you're just waiting for the right moment to correct your mistake. I supppse you could always return me to the cave, but I'd prefer you just kill me now and be done with it."

Fenris swore and got to his feet, gathering the supplies he'd laid out on the rock earlier. He crossed to the mage and settled to the ground beside him, waiting for the Vint to acknowledge him. The mage tensed as he turned to meet the elf's eyes.

"What's this? Poison?"

Fenris didn't reply as he pressed an an elfroot and restorative potion into the mage's hand. "I'm not going to kill you." He said as the Vint closed his fingers over the vials. "Drink."

The mage did as ordered, his body starting to shiver as the potions went to work healing his various injuries. "When did you last eat anything?" Fenris asked.

The mage blinked and looked at him again, a thread of fear in his eyes. "I... I don't... I'm not sure. Two days?"

Fenris nodded and dug in his bag, drawing out a small strip of dried venison and handing it to him. "Eat, but go slow or you'll be sick."

The mage chewed and swallowed, wincing as he did and Fenris passed him another mug of water. They sat like that for some time. When the mage finished a strip without being sick, Fenris handed him another until he was satisfied the mage had had enough.

"Perhaps you could start by telling me your name? I'm not going to kill you, nor am I planning to kill you later. I give you my word that you are safe with me and you will not come to harm while you're with me."

The mage opened his mouth, closed it then tried again. "Question first. What happened to your hatred of all mages? Was the dwarf exaggerating?"

"He was not exaggerating at the time. But things change and I have since altered my views on the subject."

The mage snorted. "Very well. Seems I have no choice but to accept your word. My name is Dorian Pavus of House Pavus, formerly of Minrathous."

"You're not a Magister."

Dorian's eyes flashed. "How do you know that? Most people out here see a Vint and instantly assume I'm a Magister."

"Because I've made it my business to know the names of every Magister in Tevinter. You're not one of them."

"How very reassuring." Dorian sneered, his trembling returning. "Forgive me if I'm not comforted by it."

Fenris sighed again and held up the key. "Would removing the collar help to convince you I mean you no harm?"

Dorian turned wide eyes on him and his cheeks drained of colour. "I... I forgot about that. Maker..."

Fenris grunted and moved closer, settling his hand on Dorian's arm. "Breathe mage. With me, slowly. That's it." He said as the Vint closed his eyes and did as instructed. "Are you ready?"

Eyes still closed, Dorian nodded, his body tensing as Fenris put his hands to the collar seeking the lock. "Keep breathing slowly." He said, his voice low to calm the mage as he set the key to the lock. The collar dropped away and Fenris sucked in a surprised breath as the Fade rushed back into the mage's body, the elf's markings flaring so bright he slammed his eyes shut to block it out.

Dorian sighed, his trembling subsiding to an occasional shiver as he opened his eyes and looked at the elf. "What was that? It felt like a lyrium mine and the Fade all at once."

"Your returning magic activated my markings." Fenris growled when he could speak again. "Just what kind of mage are you?"

"Your markings? What do you mean what kind? I'm not a blood mage if that's what you're accusing me of." He snapped. "I'm an Altus."

Fenris' scowled, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. "What's an Altus doing in the Free Marches?"

Dorian looked away, his jaw clenching in anger. "That's none of your business. Suffice it to say I had to leave and no I did not kill anyone. Nor am I wanted by the authorities."

"And how did you come to be caught by the Ben-Hasrath?"

Dorian's eyes were tight when next he met the elf's gaze. "I trusted the wrong person and was led into a trap."

"I'm sorry."

Dorian frowned at him. "What for? You didn't do anything."

"I'm sorry you were betrayed and caught by those... monsters. No one deserves what the re-educators do to their captives."

Dorian's voice was little more than a croak. "What... what do you know of what they do?"

"More than I want to. Some of their... techniques are taken from the Magisters."

The mage paled again and looked away while Fenris dug in his pack. "Here." He said, putting two more vials in the mage's hand. "Time for more."

"I don't think it's necessary." He protested.

"It's not for drinking mage." He said quietly.

"Oh... oh!" He said, startling as he realised the elf's intention. "I... I.. does that really work?" He stammered as his mind worked through what the elf had already revealed. "Kaffas." He swore. "Never mind. I seem to not be thinking clearly just yet."

"I will leave you to it. I need to walk the perimeter and check for any sign of pursuit. I will return as soon as I can."

"Alright." Dorian nodded as another shiver ran through his body. "I'll wait here then."

Fenris rolled his eyes. The mage was clearly still in shock and though he hated to leave him alone in his current state, he had to check the perimeter. "When I return I will make you a tea that will hasten your healing and help you relax. Do not try to leave mage. I understand you're frightened, but in your current state you won't get far."

Dorian scowled at him. "Despite my better judgment I don't believe you intend me harm. At least not yet, and I've no desire to leave the fire. You will come back though yes?"

Fenris felt something tighten in his chest at the mage's slip of insecurity, his anxiety evident in such a simple question. "I give you my word Dorian."

Dorian nodded and returned his gaze to the fire. "Well alright then. I'll wait here."

  
  


 


	8. Chapter 8

Fenris returned to the camp less than an hour later, reassured there was no one hunting them yet. His chest tightened when he saw Dorian. The mage was lying on his side, curled in on himself, arms wrapped around his knees with the blankets up to his chin. He set to work preparing the tea, the sounds making the mage stir and look around.

Dorian sat up, his eyes sliding away from the elf's gaze every time he tried to catch his attention. Tea made, he poured out a mug of the steaming liquid and sat beside him. Dorian took it without saying a word, sniffing it and wrinkling his nose at the smell before taking a tentative sip.

"Are you feeling better?" Fenris asked, taking note of the empty vials by the fire.

"A little." Dorian nodded, continuing to sip his tea. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Thank you also for rescuing me. I don't know why you did it but I'm grateful."

"Ben-Hasrath have no place in the Free Marches." Fenris growled. "It's bad enough they exist in Seheron and Rivain. They should not be this far South."

Dorian shivered again and Fenris grabbed another blanket and draped it over the mage's shoulders. The mage flicked his eyes to him, a question lingering there, though he said nothing.

"Was the one who betrayed you a friend?" Fenris asked, sensing Dorian's need to fill the silence.

Dorian scoffed but continued to stare into the flames. "No. I don't have that many to begin with." He replied, stiffening at the admission.

Fenris stared at him, but Dorian said no more. "I overheard some of them talking. The Hissrad wasn't trying to re-educate you?"

Dorian laughed, his voice cold. "He was interrogating me, I assumed he would get around to the re-edcuation eventually, but at some point he changed his mind. Thought I'd make a better tool than a sarrabas."

"A tool?"

"An educational tool. Something to teach others about defiance and control. He said I was the perfect toy." He added, his voice bitter.

"He defied the qun?"

"If he did I know nothing about that. The others were all too happy to sample his new toy. Several times I might add. Then he ordered them not to touch me and left me alone with them."

Fenris winced. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that." He snapped.

Fenris met the mage's angry glare and Dorian sucked in a surprised breath. The elf held his gaze as he lifted the blanket and slid his arm around the mage's back, pulling him close to his body in a loose embrace. With his other hand, he secured the blanket around them both while Dorian tensed before relaxing into his side. His teeth began to chatter as he set his empty mug of tea aside.

"What... what are you doing?"

"Offering you comfort. You're still in shock."

"How do you know so much about it?" He stammered, his body shifting closer to the elf's heat. "Maker, what's wrong with me? You already told me how."

"Relax mage. You're safe. I will not allow you to come to harm. Sleep. You need to recover your energy, let yourself heal."

"Sleep he says. As if it were a completely natural thing to do in this situation." He retorted, stifling a yawn.

"Sleep Dorian." Fenris repeated as the mage slipped an arm around his waist.

Dorian sighed against his shoulder as the tea took effect and his eyes drifted closed. The weight of the mage sagged against him as his quiet snores filled the silence. Fenris breathed deep, his heart stuttering at the scent of the man in his arms and he scowled at himself. Of all the inappropriate things to be feeling right now, that was the most ludicrous. Yet he couldn't deny the overwhelming urge he now felt to protect Dorian and keep him safe from any threat.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Fenris woke to the feel of a hip pressed into his side and a warm arm slung over his chest. He tensed for a brief moment before memory supplied him with the name of the one who slept at his side.

The sky was beginning to lighten and a quick glance showed him the dying embers of their fire. Despite the lateness of the hour and the need to put more distance between themselves and the Qunari, he found himself reluctant to part from the mage's warm embrace. His thoughts drifted to Hawke and his lip curled in disappointment. Though he'd never felt more than a friendship and grudging trust for her, he had been disappointed when she'd taken up with the abomination. Disgust when she'd refused Anders' request for her to kill him and end his misery.

He'd fought at her side to defend the mage's from the Templars even after she told Anders to go. The entire time they fought their way to the Gallows he believed he'd gone insane. What was he doing fighting for mage freedom? Why was he fighting in a battle he didn't believe in? Hawke was no mage and yet he followed her anyway. Had he replaced Danarius with Hawke as his new master? Was he doomed to be a slave forever?

After the battle they'd fled Kirkwall on a ship the pirate stole, leaving only Aveline and Varric behind. Merrill followed Isabella and remained with them for several months before returning to Kirkwall to help the city elves. Hawke parted from them when they stopped in Amaranthine, muttering about red lyrium and Grey Warden's as they left her on the docks a year later.

Fenris stayed with Isabella until they reached Antiva city where the pirate dragged him to a tavern. She'd squealed with delight when they ran into Zevran, an old friend of hers. He'd scowled at the former Antivan Crow, remembering how Hawke had saved him from Nuncio, the man who'd been hunting the former assassin.

From there, he'd travelled west on foot, hunting slavers and slave hunters alike as he went. He'd been alone two years now since leaving Antiva and four since the Chantry business in Kirkwall. He'd been close to Starkhaven when the rumours about the Templars reached him. He hadn't believed it at first, but when he'd entered Ostwick, the lack of Templar presence was glaring. It was there he'd first heard the tales of himself and that some of those same Templars were now hunting him.

The Order which had sworn their oath and loyalty to the Chantry had abandoned their post and their charges to take up arms against any who stood in their way. It was in Tantervale where he'd seen the wanted poster of himself and had fled north into the dark, which was how he'd come to stumble across the qunari camp.

He snorted to himself at the irony. It was some twisted joke by the Maker or some other nameless deity that had him stumbling across a qunari camp complete with a mage captive. He, who had sworn vengeance against the mages of the Imperium, coming to the aid of an outcast mage from that same place. Yet even as he thought it, the vengeance and anger which had burned so hot a decade ago had cooled to mere embers.

He'd witnessed many foul deeds at the hands of mages and Magisters both, but his time in Kirkwall had shown him that anyone was capable of abuse and cruelty, with or without the aid of magic. The mage at his side stirred and sighed audibly, tensing as he opened his eyes to stare up at the elf who held him.

Face unreadable, Dorian shifted away from him until he was sitting up, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks. "I apologize. I didn't mean to keep you trapped like that all night."

Fenris sat up and raised a brow in Dorian's direction. "You needed to rest mage. It was no hardship."

If anything, Fenris' words only deepened the mage's blush making the warrior more curious than frustrated with the man's endless apologies.

"Yes. Well, thank you but I'm sure you would prefer your space. Is there anything for breakfast? Shall I fetch us some water perhaps?" He asked, standing to stretch sore, stiff muscles, wincing as he did.

Fenris handed him two empty water skins "There's breakfast. Fetch the water then, as you please."

Dorian frowned at the elf's chosen words but said nothing as he turned and headed for the stream. Fenris dug though his pack while the mage was gone, pulling out cheese, a small loaf of bread and a single apple. He sighed at the sight of the apple, wanting nothing more than to eat the entire thing before the mage got back. Instead, he retrieved a small dagger and prepared to portion out the food while he waited for Dorian to return.

  
  


 


	10. Chapter 10

Dorian took his time filling the water skins at the stream. Waking next to the handsome and exotic elf had startled him badly, especially when he realized he was aroused by the press of the elf's hip to his side. It was as stupid and as deviant as his father had so often accused him of, he wondered at his own depravity.

He'd been raped repeatedly, forced to arousal and release and here he was getting aroused by the first man he encountered after his ordeal. He made a disgusted noise under his breath and stoppered the water skins with an angry twist of his hand. This was ridiculous and... and... he struggled to come up with a suitable description for his behaviour but nothing came.

Frustrated with his inability to focus and right his world, he returned to camp. Fenris handed him a plate of food, taking the water from him in the same motion and they ate quietly. Finished with the bread and cheese, he caught the elf eyeing his untouched apple and frowned at him.

"You don't want the apple?" Fenris asked, a note of curiosity in his voice.

"I'm not that hungry." He replied, his voice hollow as his mind helpfully supplying him with the reason for his lack of hunger. He scowled at the thought as he handed the plate to the elf. Of course he wasn't hungry, that's what happens when someone deliberately starves you. Apparently, he snorted back at himself, his memory flashing on where he'd been two days ago.

"Mage." Someone said. "Mage." More insistent. "Dorian." And his eyes snapped up to see Fenris staring at him, a worried look on his face.

"Yes?" He blinked. "Sorry, I didn't hear you. Did you ask me something?"

"I asked where you were headed before you ran into the Qunari."

Dorian frowned. "Where was I headed? Right, um where was I headed? Oh yes, Val Royeaux I think. Is that right? Yes, that's right. Val Royeaux I'm to meet a friend there."

Fenris frowned harder at his answer, but said nothing as he got to work tidying their camp and putting everything back into the satchel he carried. "Come then mage." He said, hefting the satchel over his shoulder.

Dorian got to his feet but made no move to join the elf. "What are you doing Fenris?"

"What's it look like? I'm leading you out of here."

"Look, I'm grateful for the rescue but you don't need to do this. I can get to Val Royeaux on my own. I'm sure you have better things you could be doing."

Fenris chuckled, taking no offence to the mage's discomfort. "Actually I don't. I came across a wanted poster in Wycome with my name on it. I'm not welcome in the Free Marches any more than you are right now. Let's go. I don't know if the Hissrad will come after you, but I'd rather not have to face him out here if I can help it."

Dorian paled at his mention of the Qunari, but said no more as he fell in behind him. Fenris lead them west through the woods before turning south toward Kirkwall. Dorian kept silent for most of their trek and for some reason Fenris couldn't fathom, it made him uneasy.

They stopped to rest a few miles north of Kirkwall and set camp. Fenris headed out before dusk to find a messenger to send word ahead of their arrival in Kirkwall. He knew Aveline was still there and despite her reassurances that no one sought him for the Chantry incident, he wanted her to know he was coming.

  
  


 


	11. Chapter 11

Fenris held him for a long time after that, his hand rubbing Dorian's back in gentle circles as the warmth of his body and the brandy worked to free the tension which held the mage as taut as a bowstring. After several more minutes, Dorian sighed against his chest, his breath slowing as he eased away from the elf. His smokey grey eyes were pools of sadness and pain, but they'd lost their glassy, detached look and he was more present than he'd been since Fenris had rescued him from the cave.

"Thank you." Dorian whispered.

Fenris slid his hand into the mage's cold palm, holding it in a way that allowed Dorian to pull away if he wished to. "Do you want to tell me what's eating away at you now?"

Dorian looked away, staring into the fire. "I... I'm not sure I can do that."

"Would it help if I asked a question instead and you answer what you're comfortable with?"

"Maybe?"

"Alright. Who's this friend you're going to meet?"

Dorian's smile reached his eyes this time as he stared into the distance. "Felix. A good friend of mine and the son of my former mentor. A good man Felix." He murmured, his voice suddenly sad. "It's a shame there aren't more like him in the world, though you might be one."

Fenris started at the unexpected compliment, but it seemed Dorian hadn't noticed his slip. "Why does thinking of him make you sad?"

Dorian blinked at him. "Sad? Oh, well, because he's dying. He caught the Blight sickness some time ago. He's not well."

"And he's the son of your former mentor?"

Dorian's eyes now reflected pain and regret. Fenris had never seen such expressive eyes before and he wondered if the mage knew how he gave himself away, even as he caught himself thinking how utterly beautiful they were.

"Yes." Dorian nodded, looking down at their linked hands. "Gereon Alexius. We parted badly. Disagreements over the theoretical and practical applications of time magic. I thought it was extraordinarily dangerous. He didn't and then I had no mentor."

"Time magic? Does that mean he continued his research after you parted?"

Dorian sighed. "I don't know for certain, though I would assume so. He was obsessed with it when I left, I doubt he abandoned it after."

"Was that what made you leave the Imperium?"

This time, Dorian's face showed nothing but hurt and anger. "No. Though it is part of why I'm meeting Felix. Alexius has joined a cult and Felix wants my help to stop him. I don't know his plans which is why I need to see Felix."

"His own son wants to stop him? Why does he need your help?"

The mage's shoulders drooped. "I don't know Fenris. I can only guess that Alexius somehow got the time amulet to work. He couldn't let it go, he believed that if it worked he could prevent the death of his wife and what happened to Felix." He laughed then, though it was devoid of humour. "I thought he just needed to move on, let it go. But given what happened to me, I can see the allure of wanting to turn back time and damn the consequences."

"I imagine the idea is tempting." Fenris agreed. "Would you go back if you could?"

Dorian met the elf's piercing look with one of his own. "I'm not sure I have enough distance from recent events to answer that honestly. But my instinct says no. Time magic is too dangerous, at least it was in the way Alexius' research took us in."

"Is there a direction you didn't explore?"

Dorian frowned. "Why are you asking me about this? I thought you believed all magic dangerous."

"Because you need to talk about something." Fenris shrugged.

"So you're humouring me."

"I'm helping you Dorian. And I listened to my Master discuss magical theory often enough I understand the appeal of the work even if I don't agree with the motives behind it."

"You are nothing like the elf Messere Tethras describes in his book." Dorian observed.

"Good. Varric is all too fond of his own voice and his embellishments."

"So did a Rivaini pirate really steal the Book of Koslun?"

Fenris' eyebrows shot up. "He didn't put that in the book did he?"

Dorian laughed, the sound sending a warm flush through the elf making him want to hear more. "No. The Magisters heard about it from a survivor who tried and failed to recover it for the Imperium."

"I was there when it happened. I was unaware there were survivors in that building."

"From what I heard this particular mage was waiting for the others to return to the ship. Never saw the book. Heard it from someone in a tavern in Lowtown."

"That would be Varric then." Fenris sighed. "He's lucky Isabella didn't hear that tale."

"Isabella?" Dorian repeated. "The book said you were somewhat... involved with her. Was that true?"

Fenris narrowed his eyes. "You wish to discuss my personal life?"

"Uh no." Dorian blushed. "I just was curious."

"It was one night. The dwarf turned it into something tragic and ridiculous. If I'd known what he was going to write in that blasted book I would've threatened him more often."

"That bad?"

"That book has done nothing but haunt me everywhere I go. I'd burn every copy of I could. I can't go anywhere now without someone recognizing me."

"I can see how that would make hunting slavers difficult."

"Venhedis." Fenris swore. "He put that in the book as well?"

"I'm afraid so."

"And the more reason for me to go to Kirkwall. There's a dwarf who needs my foot in his arse. That or he can pay me back for his stupidity in sovereigns."

Dorian cleared his throat. "Speaking of sovereigns, I don't suppose you searched that cave before we left there? I had a small bag of personal effects on me when..." He broke off and looked away.

"Actually I did find it." Fenris said, getting to his feet to retrieve it. He returned with Dorian's bag and the brandy and poured each of them another small cup.

Dorian took both from him, searching his bag as soon as he had it in his lap. His shoulders relaxed when he found what he was looking for and smiled at Fenris when he felt the elf's eyes on him. "They didn't find it." He sighed, letting go more of his tension.

"Something important then?"

"Only all the sovereigns I have to my name. Though I don't understand why they didn't find it."

"How long were you... there?" Fenris asked, hating to bring it up.

"Depends what day it is. I was last in Tantervale on a Sunday, beginning of Harvestmere."

"Nine days then." Fenris said.

"Only nine?" Dorian exclaimed. "Maker, it felt like a month."

"As it is meant to." Fenris replied softly, drawing a look of horrified understanding from the mage.

"I... I see."

"So will you tell me now why that bag holds all your coin? You're an Altus, it makes no sense."

Dorian sighed, all the humour in his voice gone. "I had to leave it all behind. My parents didn't approve of my choices, nor I for theirs. So I left."

"That's not an answer."

"I like men and I refused to pretend for the rest of my life."

Fenris' frowned, still not understanding. "And that was enough to give up your inheritance? Magisters do their duty all the time and take lovers in private or use slaves."

Dorian eyes darkened to the colour of storm clouds. "First, I don't and never have and never will sleep with a slave. Second, I have no interest in living a lie and playing pretend. Call me an idealist or a fool if you must, but I don't want to hide what I am and I certainly don't want to be someone's scandalous secret or they mine."

"But..."

"My father knew all this and thought he could fix the problem by changing my... preferences. He found a ritual, I learned of it and left."

Fenris' eyes went wide. "Your father planned to use blood magic on you?"

"Yes."

"Venhedis Dorian. I knew there were problems in the Imperium, but this? Your own father?"

"Why wouldn't it be acceptable?" Dorian snapped. "It is about appearances after all."

"That's not..."

"I don't see how you can be surprised. You're the one who knows better than most how corrupt the Imperium is. Did you really think these depravities were restricted to use on slaves and lesser mages? Blood magic is everywhere someone might gain something from it. Apparently my father included."

"I take it your father hated blood magic as much as you at some point."

Dorian snorted, his voice filled with bitterness. "He called it _the last resort of a weak mind_. Apparently discovering his son preferred bedding men was his last resort. My talents, skills and accomplishments... all worthless without a future heir."

"You aren't worthless Dorian. And your father was wrong to attempt what he did."

Dorian's eyes were tight. "What would you know of my worth?"

"You refused to be controlled mage. You gave up the comforts of nobility for your freedom. That is not worthless, it's priceless. And you were held captive by specialists in torture and you did not break. That takes strong will and a conviction in your survival."

"I only survived because you rescued me Fenris. I... would not have lasted much longer."

Fenris reached for him, touching his hand to Dorian's cheek to make him meet his eyes. "Most qunari captives don't last past three days. Do not belittle what you endured and survived."

"You are very confusing Fenris. Why are you being nice to me? I certainly haven't shown much gratitude for what you did."

"I wasn't expecting tea and cake."

"Now you're being flippant."

Fenris dropped his hand and glanced at the fire. "You... interest me. I've never met a man like you. Mage or not."

"We... have something in common then." Dorian replied, hesitating. "You... interest me as well."

Fenris held his breath and looked at him. "Is that what's been bothering you? You're attracted to me?"

"Of course it bothers me! How can I even consider such things after what happened? It's... perverted, it's wrong."

"No, it's not Dorian. It's a normal reaction to what you experienced."

"How can it possibly be normal?"

"You wish to erase the memories by being with someone of your choosing. To remind yourself you have a choice, the right to say no and not be helpless to stop it."

"Kaffas. This... is not helping. You telling me this, being all understanding and helpful... yet you know these things because... because you experienced them yourself."

"Then let us turn in for the night. I should receive word from Aveline in two days."

"Two days?" Dorian repeated, a thread of fear in his voice.

"Though it unlikely, this qunari will have to go through Kirkwall to track you. If he does, I will not let him take you Dorian. You have my word."

"Right. You're right. It would be stupid for a qunari to enter Kirkwall. And... thank you Fenris, I appreciate this."

"It is nothing. Sleep mage. We can discuss it more in the morning."

 


	12. Chapter 12

*More non-con here. Feel free to skip ahead.

\-------------------------------------

 

Fenris groaned, his head was pounding as came awake. He'd fallen asleep watching the mage doze for a while but by the position of the moon he hadn't been out long. He looked over to Dorian's bedroll to find the mage gone and the smell of sickly sweet flowers in the air.

He coughed and shot to his feet, clenching his eyes closed at the wave of nausea that hit him. Dorian was gone but his things were untouched and he recognized the smell as a form of knockout powder popular with the qunari. He swore under his breath as he packed up everything, stowing the satchel of belongings in a hidden spot between two large boulders.

After filling his inner pocket with healing potions and downing one to clear the fog from his thoughts, he circled the camp searching for the qunari's path. Ten minutes later, he was moving through the trees at a steady pace, cursing himself under his breath. He'd been careless and had failed to protect the mage. If not for his former master's depravities in exposing him to the qunari poison to build a resistance to it, he would have been unconscious for several more hours yet.

The Hissrad had taken no other precautions to prevent him following which meant the qunari would not be expecting him. Still, he growled to himself in anger, it should not have happened at all and he quickened his pace.

\----xxx----

His arms hurt. That was his first thought. His wrists, he corrected past the fog and throbbing in his skull. And... his heart froze, he was naked his mind screamed and his eyes snapped open.

It was dark and he was in a forested area. His wrists were tied together and stretched above his head, the rope attached to an overhanging tree branch. There was a gag in his mouth and he started trembling, fear clutching at him as he heard a noise behind him.

"You've been a very bad sarrabas." The Hissrad's voice growled close to his ear.

Dorian's heart pounded as he attempted to protest his innocence from behind his gag. It wasn't his fault! he tried to scream as a large, callused palm caressed his naked buttock.

"Pretty Vint. The elf stole you but I didn't have enough restraints to take you both."

No! Dorian moaned behind his gag, no Fenris couldn't be dead. The qunari chuckled under his breath, amused by the mage's reaction. Warm wet lips sucked at his earlobe, something long and hard pressing between his bare cheeks. "He's not dead pretty Vint. But by the time he wakes you'll be too far away for him to save you."

Dorian flinched away from the qunari's touch but couldn't hide his sigh of relief. The qunari put his hands to his hips and pulled him flush with his chest, trailing his tongue along the mage's neck. "You're wondering why he's not dead aren't you mage?" The qunari growled as he trailed his tongue down Dorian's spine, the Vint's body breaking out in a violent shiver.

"When he wakes and realizes his failure, he'll know he's failed, that you're beyond saving. You'll be nothing more than a bad memory and he'll think twice before he tries stealing from the qun again."

Dorian arched away from the qunari's hands, anger rising in him at the callous words. "As for you... well, you have to be punished." He growled, shoving two slicked fingers inside his passage. Dorian screamed behind his gag, the rough burn making him strain against the rope, breaking the skin on his wrists.

Tears flowed down his cheeks recognizing the poison coating the qunari's fingers as they left his body. He began to sweat, writhing and straining against his bonds in agony as the pain became his whole world. Pain and terrifying visions was all he knew until he felt the probing at his entrance again and he renewed his struggles to free himself.

"Pretty mage." The Hissrad cooed in his ear, his palms resting on his hips again. "Time to fulfill your purpose little toy."

Dorian groaned and pulled at his bonds, but the hands digging into his hips held him immobile and then the hard, blunt press of the qunari's cock was shoving inside him and he screamed again. His cheeks were wet with the constant flow of tears as the qunari thrust inside his aching passage. His heart thrummed in his chest as Hissrad used his hands to pull him back hard, over and over again, impaling him on his cock, pulling him flush against his chest when he bottomed out inside him. "Such a good toy you are Dorian." Bull hummed with every thrust. "I'll need a more fitting name for you before we reach Seheron. Especially since I plan to take you every day. Several times. Maybe I'll lend you out for coin for supplies. I'm sure there's plenty who'd enjoy helping me train you to your purpose."

Bull grunted and increased the pace of his thrusts as his words had the desired effect. "Maybe I'll parade you through the next village. On a leash, wrists behind your back and your cock hard and flushed. You'd look so pretty the people would beg me to let them take you." The mage sagged in his rope, his breathing ragged as the qunari continued his relentless plundering of the mage. He thrust again, his orgasm cresting, filling his captive's body with an explosion of release. He held the mage's trembling form tight to his chest as he rode out the aftershocks of pleasure which poured through him.

He slipped out of Dorian's passage, smiling at the stream of fluid that dripped from the mage as he sagged in his restraints. "Maybe I'll just call you pretty." He said, stepping away from him. He ran his fingers through Dorian's ebony locks and smiled again. "Don't worry little mage. We're just getting started."

  
  


 


	13. Chapter 13

Fenris came upon the qunari's makeshift camp just as the Hissrad shoved himself inside Dorian's passage. His vision clouded with rage, but he didn't dare approach with the mage in the qunari's arms. That he'd been left alive told him much about the Avaarad's state of mind. He had no doubt the qunari would snap the mage's neck if he heard him coming. He'd seen it before when an Avaarad became obsessed with a captive; they'd rather kill their prize than let them go, and he would not risk getting the mage killed.

He waited in angry silence for the Hissrad to finish, his fury rising when Dorian sagged in his restraints, the mage's legs having barely enough strength to keep the strain off his wrists. The qunari leaned into Dorian's back, his mouth close to the mage's ear as he whispered something that caused a violent tremor to run through his body.

The Hissrad laughed, ran a possessive hand over Dorian's naked backside and moved off into the trees. Fenris was on the move seconds later, his feet making no sound as he followed the qunari into the dense brush. He caught up to him at a small stream and without hesitating, brought the flat edge of his blade down hard on the qunari's head. The Hissrad gave a grunt of pain as his body pitched forward, unconscious.

Fenris wanted the man dead but knew the mage needed to see it, if not plunge a blade in his heart himself. He returned to the qunari's camp, grabbed the restraints he knew he'd find and hurried back to the Hissrad. Using the qunari's own supplies he secured the giant's wrists behind his back, clamped a steel collar fixed with a chain around his neck and lashed his ankles together. He then took another chain and secured both his wrists and ankles to the collar before tying the entire thing to a large tree. As an afterthought, he took the bag holding the restraints and put it over the qunari's head to blindfold him.

Satisfied with his work, he returned to Dorian. His heart was in his throat at the sight of the mage. Pulling a knife from his belt, he cut him down, cradling him in his arms and placing him gently on the ground atop the blanket the qunari had left out.

Dorian had passed out. Before he could change his mind, he rolled the mage onto his stomach, pulled out an elfroot potion and poured it into the mage's abused backside. In seconds, the scratches and bruises there had vanished, surprising him with how fast it took effect. He located Dorian's clothes, dressing him quickly, the Hissrad's proximity making him nervous.

He sat down, gathered Dorian into his arms and began whispering to him, hoping his voice would help wake him. "Mage. Can you hear me? Dorian, it's Fenris. Wake up, I've got you. You're safe.  I'm... I'm so sorry I didn't protect you." He whispered, his voice breaking. "Please mage, open your eyes." His heart stuttered in his chest as he felt Dorian stir.

The mage tensed as his eyes opened, glancing down to the arms holding him and pulled away. He met the elf's look with hard, angry eyes filled with pain and hurt. "You said I was safe!" He snarled, getting to his feet. "You said you would stop him! Does this look safe to you?" He shouted.

"No." Fenris replied as he stood. "No it doesn't. I'm sorry. I didn't realize he'd become obsessed with you."

"Sorry! You're sorry?" The mage repeated, his cheeks red with anger. "Obsessed? What are you talking about? He came for me you stupid elf! He... he took me, punished me for what you did! And you're sorry?"

"I am."

The colour suddenly drained from the mage's face as he looked around, eyes wide with fear. "What... where... where is he? Is he dead?"

"No." Fenris shook his head. "Follow me."

"Vishante kaffas! Why would I want to do that?"

But Fenris ignored him and kept walking until he was standing a few feet from where he'd left the bound Avaarad. Dorian came stomping after him, his mouth open to shout more when he saw the qunari and froze. "Why is he still alive?" He demanded, glaring daggers at the elf.

"Because his life is not mine to take." Fenris answered, holding out his blade.

Dorian stared at the glint of metal in the warrior's hand, taking it after a beat. He palmed it and met the elf's eyes, even as a tremor ran through him. "Thank you for the blade Fenris, but this calls for magic. If you wouldn't mind removing this first." He said, his voice cold, waving his hand at the collar.

"Kaffas." Fenris swore. He'd forgotten about that. Ducking his head, he bent to the qunari's body, searched him and came away with a small key. He crossed to the mage and removed the collar, bracing for the rush of magic as the enchanted metal dropped to the ground.

His markings flared again and this time it was Dorian who closed his eyes against the glare. When he next met the elf's eyes, there was a question in them before Dorian blinked it away, his face unreadable.

"If you could remove the hood and leave, I would appreciate it."

Fenris frowned. "Leave?" He repeated, yanking the sack off the qunari's head.

"Just.... pack up whatever you can use and leave me alone with him. This is... something I would like to do alone."

Fenris' eyes were filled with concern but he nodded his agreement. He knew what the mage needed and headed back to the small clearing. "Call me if you need anything."

Dorian grimaced and stared down at the bound qunari. "Oh this won't take long." He said, his voice like ice.

Fenris said no more as he left the mage and searched the small camp. There wasn't much to find and what he did find he had no desire to know the purpose of. The things they could  use he stuffed into a blanket he tied into a makeshift bundle, everything else he piled into a cleared area for the mage to burn later. While he worked he could hear cries of fear and pain coming from where he'd left Dorian with the qunari, but he ignored it. Whatever Dorian was doing, it would never be equal to what the mage had suffered at the Hissrad's hands.

  
  


 


	14. Chapter 14

Two hours passed and still there was no sign of the mage. The sounds he heard coming from where he'd left Dorian were more muffled now but still present. He didn't know what was happening nor did he care to find out but it was still dark and the rush of adrenaline from earlier had left him cold. He didn't begrudge the mage's revenge but he would have appreciated a bit of magic for a fire right now. He was about to go fetch the mage when Dorian appeared, looking pale and tired.

He scrambled to his feet and approached, wary of startling the man who seemed not to see him at first. The mage didn't react as he closed the distance, his eyes fixing on the elf's as he got closer.

"Dorian?"

"Mmm. Fenris." He nodded, though his manner didn't change. "I'm finished and I was wondering if you might go remove his heart for me."

Fenris frowned. "Remove his heart?"

"Yes. And bring it here so I can incinerate it with the other things you've gathered." He said, nodding at the pile the elf had been sitting beside.

Fenris' expression didn't change, but he nodded his understanding what Dorian was asking. " Very well. You will wait here then?"

"I will."

Fenris grunted and moved past him into the trees. The qunari was still alive and glaring at him from behind the gag Dorian had stuffed in his mouth. He noted the lack of clothes, wondering how Dorian had managed that alone, but shrugged. He didn't really care. The Hissrad showed little evidence of torture but there was no mistaking the fear he saw in the qunari's eyes.

He removed the gag and loomed over the bound giant, stepped back and waited.

"You think you can save the sarrabas from himself little wolf?" The Hissrad sneered making Fenris tense. The qunari laughed. "That's right. I know who you are. I made a mistake. I should have taken you not the sarrabas. It would have been much more fun breaking you. After so many years of freedom your tears would have been delicious to see."

"And now you will see nothing." Fenris snarled.

"The Qunari will find you and your pet sarrabas."

"They will not." Fenris retorted. "You were not following the qun. They will not care you are gone."

"What would you know of the qun? You are nothing but an unleashed animal without your master."

"Now I understand what the gag was for." Fenris muttered, stuffing it back in the qunari's mouth. He paused a moment, thinking and returned to Dorian.

"Mage."

Dorian looked up from where he sat on the ground. "Elf. Where's the heart?"

"Why did you not kill him?"

"I... I tried. I couldn't do it."

"You have to mage. It will haunt you if you allow me to do it for you."

Dorian closed his eyes and breathed through his mouth in slow, measured breaths. "Kaffas. Somehow I knew you would say that." He said, getting to his feet. "Will you remove his heart after?"

Fenris nodded. "I will. Do you want me to come with you?"

"If you don't mind."

"I do not."

Dorian hummed under his breath and returned to the Hissrad, his fingers swirling with magic, sparks snapping between his fingers. The qunari tensed when he saw the mage, struggling in his bonds as he neared. Dorian glanced at Fenris who nodded, stepping closer to the mage.

"I'm here Dorian."

Dorian nodded and lightning exploded over the qunari's body, forcing the Hissrad to writhe and contort as the currents of electricity ran through him. Dorian increased his assault until the qunari's body began to smoke and then he made a gesture with his hand, the lightning dissipating as the Hissrad fell limp.

"He's dead." Dorian murmured.

Fenris nodded, moved to the body and plunged his fist into the limp form. He pulled the heart free and moved back, eyes flicking to the mage and returning to where he'd left the qunari's belongings. He dropped the heart on top and waited, the mage appearing beside him a few minutes later.

Without speaking, Dorian conjured a perfectly formed barrier over the pile Fenris had gathered. He flicked his wrist and everything inside the barrier burst into flame. Minutes later there was nothing left but black ash and cinders and Dorian dissipated the barrier with another flick of his wrist.

"Lets go." He said, moving past the elf without another word.

Fenris scooped up the bag of looted items he'd gathered and followed. Taking care to not brush against the mage, he slipped ahead of him to lead them back to where he'd hidden their belongings.

  
  


 


	15. Chapter 15

A day later Fenris stopped to make camp closer to Kirkwall. The mage had refused to speak after they'd left the remains of the qunari and his camp behind. Beyond the occasional nod of agreement, Dorian remained silent.

Fenris understood the mage's silence but knew he could not allow the man to continue living in his head. He'd had to learn that himself. Alone, hunted, existing on only a few hours sleep a night and stolen food. It had been a nightmare of fear and exhaustion and he'd had no one to turn to. No one to help.

Dorian did not need to suffer in silence, nor did Fenris intend to let the mage's wounds fester any longer than necessary. The mage still needed to get to Orlais, but if his friend Felix expected Dorian to help, he would have to start dealing with what had happened to him now, not later.

After they ate a small meal of berries and roast nug, Fenris dragged out what remained of his brandy and steeled himself for what he had to do. Dorian accepted the mug with a twitch of his lips, his eyes flicking up briefly up to meet the elf's gaze and sighed heavily.

"I know what you're thinking." Dorian said, staring into the fire. "I'm not as lost in my thoughts as you think, but I have some questions."

"Ask then." Fenris replied. "I will answer as best I can."

Dorian nodded, his posture indicating he'd expected as much. "The... qunari said you wouldn't wake in time to find me, but you did. How?"

Fenris made a face. He hasn't expected Dorian to ask that and it brought painful memories bubbling to the surface of his mind. "My... former master used to expose me to qunari poisons. I accompanied him often to Seheron as his bodyguard. He wished to ensure I could survive and continue performing my duties as his bodyguard should I be exposed."

"Your master... poisoned you? On purpose?" Dorian's eyes widened. "It... kaffas. It must have been often if you... woke so soon."

"It was."

Dorian pursed his lips. "Why did you come for me?"

"I made a promise and I... failed you." Fenris replied, his eyes dropping back to the fire.

"A promise. A promise made you pursue a Hissrad in the dark? For a mage from Tevinter?"

"I keep my promises mage. And it does not matter where you came from."

"Doesn't matter he says."

"I told you I would keep you safe and I didn't. I will remain by your side until you truly are safe."

Dorian scowled. "No one asked you to become my saviour Fenris."

"I assigned myself when I rescued you Dorian. We leave for Kirkwall in the morning. We will stay long enough for us both to rest and regain our strength and then I will take you to Val Royeaux to meet your friend."

"Why Fenris? Why do this?"

"I told you I am a wanted man here. I need to disappear for a while and to do that I need to move south."

Dorian grunted but said nothing.

"Is there more you wish to discuss?"

"No. If as you say, we will be staying in Kirkwall, ask me again when we get there."

 


	16. Chapter 16

The next day they were on the road by dawn and entering Kirkwall shortly after mid-day. Fenris donned a cloak with a hood before they reached the gates of the city to hide both his markings and his ears.

Dorian had frowned at the meagre disguise. "What are you doing Fenris? I thought your friend was meeting us."

"I said she was expecting us, not meeting us. We're to go to the Viscount's office and meet her in the barracks."

"And that requires you to wear a disguise?"

Fenris scowled. "I have no desire to be recognized before I know the mood of the city. I lived here seven years, there will be those who know me in sight. I have no intention if announcing my presence here."

"You also said that the city's Templars aren't looking for you."

"What part of not drawing attrition escapes your understanding mage? Just get us through the gate and I'll do the rest."

"Fine." Dorian huffed, stalking toward the gate , leaving Fenris to hurry after him.

A half, hour later they were inside Aveline's office, the red-haired Guard-Captain pulling Fenris into a tight hug before he could protest. She released him just as quickly, stepping back out of reach to stare at Dorian.

"You're the mage Fenris mentioned?" She asked, arms crossing over her chest.

"I don't know what Fenris told you so I've no idea whether I am or not." Dorian retorted with a smile curling his lips.

"Maker, not another one." She sighed, rubbing her temples before turning her attention back to Fenris. "Have you heard about Varric?"

"No. Should I have?"

Aveline pursed her lips, thinking hard. "Never mind. Varric fixed up your mansion when he returned to the city and somehow made you the official owner." She said, holding up a key. "Here's the key. I assume you want to clean up and rest after being on the road so long. Donnic and I will come by with dinner and catch you up on what's been happening."

Fenris gaped at her as though she were speaking a language he didn't understand. "Varric did what?"

"I know. Surprised me too." She nodded. "I'm sorry but I don't have time to talk now. Get to the mansion, check it out and we'll see you in a few hours."

Fenris nodded and headed to the door, Dorian watching both of them with interest. "Thank you Guard-Captain. I guess we shall see you later."

"Indeed." Was all she said, her expression not changing.

\----xxx----

Fenris led him back outside and down the stairs, pausing at the bottom to stare at the only estate facing the square. After a moment, he turned and stalked away, crossing the square with his shoulders hunched and his head down. Dorian followed, his curiosity piqued but not inclined to question.

He was distracted by his own thoughts so he didn't notice when Fenris stopped again and he walked right into him, making him stumble. Fenris' arm shot out to catch him, the feel of his hand on his arm sending sparks through his body, and he shrugged his hand away, breaking contact.

Looking up, he took in what had drawn the warrior's attention. He was in another small square where a set of stairs led up to a small Chantry. He frowned at the sight.

It was strange being in Kirkwall where the architecture screamed Tevinter. With it's imposing tall buildings, winding streets and the unmistakable and deliberate style designed to confuse and bottleneck where iron gates could be lowered to trap or herd. Yet here at the Chantry it was clear this building was not of Tevinter and did not match anything else in the vicinity.

He glanced back at Fenris who was scowling now, though his face remained unreadable. He caught Dorian's stare, blinked and began walking again, heading for a steep flight of stairs into the noble district.

Fenris paused outside a door recessed into the building closest to the stairs, hesitating as he unlocked it and stepped inside. Dorian followed, watching Fenris with interest as he moved into the main hall, shoulders tense as he took in whatever changes Aveline had mentioned.

Though the space was clean, the faint scent of lemon and citrus in the air, he didn't find it all that remarkable. Fenris shook himself, heading for a door to his right as though determined to dislike whatever he might find. Dorian moved to a table at the bottom of the two sets of stairs leading to the second floor. There were papers there along with a sealed envelope addressed to Fenris.

He was about to call out to him when Fenris returned, his eyes filled with something Dorian couldn't read.

"What is it?" Fenris growled, his voice rough with emotion.

"There's a letter here addressed to you."

Fenris nodded as though he'd expected as much and turned to the stairs. "Bring it. I want to see what the dwarf did to my room."

Dorian frowned at him but did as he asked, following him to the master bedroom on the second floor. Fenris' shoulders relaxed as soon as he stepped over the threshold, letting a soft sigh of relief pass his lips.

Dorian remained in the doorway, his earlier discomfort of having Fenris accompany him and act as his bodyguard, returning twofold as Fenris laid down his sword and removed his cloak. He then moved to the fireplace and set about getting it lit as though he were alone.

Dorian's pulse had begun to race and his palms were slick with nerves as he laid the letter on the table and slipped from the room. He took the stairs down, expecting Fenris to follow but heard nothing. He paused in the main hall, unsure what had brought on his discomfort but came up blank.

Glancing back up the stairs he debated waiting for his pulse to slow but rejected the thought. He appreciated Fenris' help, but he didn't need it now and neither did he want him involved in the business of stopping Alexius. It was too dangerous for Fenris to accompany him and he knew nothing he said would dissuade him. Better if he just left now and give him no chance to argue.

With a final glance up the stairs, he slipped out the front door, closing it behind him without a sound. He headed back down the stairs to the market district and back to the city gates, ignoring the voice telling him to go back.

  
  


 


	17. Chapter 17

Fenris debated asking Dorian to use magic to light a fire in the room, but quickly dismissed the thought. Memories of all the years he'd spent in this mansion were at odds with the renovations Varric had done to the place. Adding a magic fuelled fire to that likely wouldn't help to dispel the unsettled feeling that had descended on him the moment he entered the mansion.

Twenty minutes passed while he struggled to light the fire, turning to speak to Dorian as he rose to his feet to find him gone. Ice filled his veins when he realized it had been quiet for some time and he cursed under his breath. Grabbing his sword, he rushed down the stairs and out the door knowing with certainty Dorian was running.

He headed straight to the market district in his search for the mage, cursing Dorian's stubbornness and his own, as yet unexplained, sense of responsibility he felt for the mage. He reached the market but saw no sign of Dorian, stopping at one of the stalls to speak with a merchant he recognized. The man confirmed Dorian had come through here, thanking him profusely as he handed the man a silver for his trouble.

He caught up to the mage as he was approaching the city gates, hanging back as Dorian paused, veering away from the guards posted there and settling on a bench, his head on his hands. Fenris frowned, approaching on quiet feet, catching the shake of Dorian's shoulders as he drew near.

"Don't ask me what I'm doing." Dorian murmured behind his hands, his voice muffled. "I don't know what I'm doing."

Fenris grunted and took a seat beside him in the bench. "You're running."

"From what?" Dorian demanded. "You? A warm bed? Hot food? Rest? Myself?"

Fenris sighed. "Only you can answer that Dorian. Come back with me to the mansion. It has dwarven plumbing and you could use a bath."

Dorian laughed, his voice bitter as he dropped his hands to stare at him, his eyes bright with unshed tears. "Am I that offensive?"

Fenris rose from the bench, turning to offer his hand. Dorian stared at it a moment before surprising them both when he took it, letting Fenris help him to his feet. "You are not offensive Dorian. But you need to take care of yourself and a hot bath is a good place to start."

Dorian huffed as he walked at Fenris' side. "Why did you come after me?"

"Because you needed me to. I told you before Dorian, I've been there. Your instinct is to run, but it's not what you need."

Dorian grunted but said no more on the subject as they returned to the mansion. Fenris led him back up the stairs, taking a left at the top where a large tub sat empty and waiting for use. He removed his satchel, setting it on a nearby chair as Fenris adjusted the taps and began filling it.

"I'll check if Varric left towels somewhere. I don't see then but it appears he left several bath oils and soaps." He said, waving a hand at a shelf beside the tub, his brow furrowed in disbelief. "Help yourself. I'll return when I find them."

"Thank you Fenris." Dorian nodded, waiting until Fenris left before peeling his grime covered shawl and armour from his body. He winced several times as he did so, his muscles protesting and his mind registering a small measure of fear at being so exposed. He scowled at the sensation, shoving it away as he lowered himself into the hot water, a groan of pleasure escaping him as he sank beneath the surface.

Looking over the vials and bottles Fenris had mentioned, he brought several to his nose to test them, before settling on one smelling of lavender and orange. He did the same to the soaps, choosing a peppermint one for his skin and something woodsy he couldn't identify for his hair.

After adding the oil and washing both himself and his hair, he relaxed against the tub side, letting his eyes drift closed. The feeling of being clean combined with the heat of the water was easing both his body and his mind and he let out a sigh of contentment.

Fenris returned in time to see Dorian rinsing the soap from his hair, the droplets of water on his skin glinting in the candlelight like sparkles on his dusky skin. The sight stopped him on his tracks, heart thudding as he again caught himself admiring the definition in Dorian's arms, his mind drifting to thoughts of how well-defined his torso and legs must be and he blushed.

Overcome by his train of thought, he slipped from the room, not wanting to alert the mage to his presence while he remembered how to breathe without gasping. As soon as the images faded, he made sure to make noise to announce his presence.

"I found the towels." He said, his voice gone deep with lust and bringing a shamed scowl to his face. "For some reason they were in a cupboard on the main floor. I'll just leave them here for you. Call me if you need anything."

Dorian blinked over at him, his face slack from the bath and eyes distant as though he'd forgotten where he was. "That is odd. How much time do I have before your friends arrive?"

Fenris blinked in confusion and then he remembered Aveline. "Right. Yes, Aveline is usually fairly punctual so you have about two hours."

Dorian hummed in approval his eyes drifting closed once more. "Ah good. Plenty of time for a short nap."

Fenris hesitated, the urge to touch Dorian's skin and claim his lips with a kiss growing stronger the longer he stood there. "I uh, also found some clothes for you to wear so I can have your armour sent out to be cleaned."

Dorian's eyes snapped open in surprise, a frown on his fave. "You don't have to do that."

Fenris growled back. "You want to put your dirty clothes back on?"

"Well no, of course not."

"Good. Then it's settled." Fenris retorted, snatching Dorian's soiled clothes from the floor where he'd left them. "Your room is across the hall from here, bed already turned down. See you at dinner."

Dorian gaped at the elf's retreating back as he slipped from the room and closed the door behind him.

 

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

Dorian rose from his nap to join Fenris and his friends for dinner. It started well enough, but it was obvious the Guard-Captain was uncomfortable with Dorian at the table.

"Aveline. If you've something to say, say it already." Fenris growled as he cleared away the plates and brought over a pot of coffee. "You haven't stopped glaring since you arrived."

"There's no easy way to say this." Aveline muttered. "But it's obvious this man is a mage and he's from Tevinter. What's going on Fenris? What is he doing in your house? Why are you with him?"

"It's long story Aveline. I thank you for your concern, but it's not what you think. He was captured by Qunari re-educators. I rescued him and agreed to bring him safely to Orlais."

"Qunari?" Aveline repeated, her eyes boring into Dorian as she stared at him, making him uncomfortable.

"I understand your suspicions but I'm not a Magister. Nor am I anything like Danarius. In fact, I and many others were quite pleased to hear of his demise."

"I see." Aveline replied, though her brow was creased in a frown. "And what brings you south then? The only Tevinter mages I've met outside the Imperium were Magisters and maleficar."

"My apologies, but I can't tell you that."

"Aveline." Fenris warned. "Dorian has told me why he's here and it's better if you don't know. Can we move on? What's happened with Varric? Why isn't he here?"

"After what happened, a Seeker of Truth and the Divine's right hand showed up here demanding answers. The Seeker questioned me and the Knight-Captain, but took special interest in Varric, probably because of that damn book he wrote. They left, but the Seeker returned and took Varric with her back to the Temple where Justinia was holding the Conclave. He was to tell the Divine the same story, but something happened and the Temple was destroyed before he could."

Fenris' eyes widened. "Are you saying Varric is dead?"

Aveline shook her head. "No. From what we've heard only the Temple was destroyed. Varric was in Haven at the time. They also say there was only one survivor. They're calling her the Herald of Andraste."

"Herald of Andraste?" Dorian echoed. "That doesn't seem ominous at all."

Aveline scowled at the interruption, but turned back to address Fenris. "We've also had some rather odd reports coming from the Hinterlands. I'm sure you've heard the mages and Templars have engaged one another in open combat no matter where they are."

Fenris nodded. "I'd heard. What of it?"

"There's been some disturbing rumours about a group of mages heading to Redcliff. King Alistair had already made it a refuge for mages when the Circles fell, so that seemed normal. Except from the description, they sounded like Tevinter mages."

"Kaffas." Dorian swore, blushing when all eyes at the table turned to him. "I was afraid of that."

Aveline's eyes were now harder than before. "Is this why you're here? An invasion of your people while everyone else is at war?" She demanded.

Fenris tensed as Dorian's cheeks flushed with colour, his hazel green eyes flashing with anger. "It most certainly is not why I'm here." He snapped, his spine straightening as he slid his chair back from the table. "I had no intention if ever setting foot in this city when I left my homeland."

"And why did you leave it then?" Aveline growled, her eyes filled with suspicion.

"Aveline." Fenris warned. "I've told you already. Why he's here has nothing to do with what's happening in Ferelden.

Bright green eyes stared back him. “Yes. You've said that. But he's also a Tevinter mage Fenris. You can't expect me to just accept you're okay with that given your history."

"I am not blind Aveline. And I'm more aware of the danger than you are. I would not allow him in my home otherwise."

Aveline sighed, downing half her mug of ale and letting the tension fall from her shoulders as she slouched back in her chair. "You've changed Fenris." She mused, humour glittering her eyes.

Fenris grunted, covering the sudden flush in his cheeks by downing half his wine. "Enough about Dorian. Was there anything else you wanted to share with me?"

Aveline flicked her eyes to Dorian once again, pursing her lips in thought before returning her attention to her friend. "Nothing that I can think of, no."

Dorian cleared his throat, pushing back from the table and getting to his feet in one smooth motion. "Yes, well, I'm afraid my time on the road had caught up with me and I'm bone tired. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to turn in for the night. It was a pleasure to meet you both." He said, meeting Aveline and Donnic's eyes. "Fenris." He added, nodding to the elf as he excused himself.

"Likewise." Donnic and Aveline replied while Fenris merely nodded, only his eyes betraying his disappointment at Dorian's departure.

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

"Fenris."

Fenris groaned as Aveline stared at him, unflinching. "What Aveline?"

"Maker's breath Fenris." She sighed, her tone softening "What have you gotten yourself into?"

"I don't know. It's not as though I planned this."

"I think what my intimidating wife is trying to say is, what happened? How did you meet that man?"

Fenris bristled, shocking himself with his reaction to Donnic's casual omission of Dorian's name. "He has a name Donnic, I would appreciate it if you used it."

"Shit." Aveline swore. "If I wasn't seeing it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it. You care about him don't you?"

Fenris felt his cheeks flush and couldn't meet Aveline's eyes. "Yes. I... don't understand it at all."

"Care to tell us how you met him?" Aveline asked, refilling her glass of ale from the pitcher.

"Only if you swear never to repeat it and do not let on that you know to Dorian."

"Alright." Aveline agreed.

"Swear. Both of you." Fenris growled, meeting their surprised looks with an unwavering glare.

"We swear Fenris."

Fenris nodded, satisfied with their promise. "I was in Tantervale when I saw a wanted poster of myself. I left before anyone could revognize me. I headed north and stumbled across a Qunari re-educator camp."

"Re-educators?" Aveline frowned.

"They're used when a Qunari stops believing in or following the qun. With non -qunari, or bas, they are brutal and savage. With mages not of the Qun... they're lucky if they aren't dosed with sar-qamek to wipe their minds immediately."

"And they had Dorian?"

"He was their only captive. There were five of them, all oxmen. Though the leader was the largest I've ever seen, including the former Arishok."

Donnic swore and Aveline's eyes were cold as the words he spoke registered the meaning he was trying to convey. "He was a human mage with five Qunari... re-educators?" Aveline hissed. "Maker's breath."

"Shit Fenris." Donnic whistled. "The things you've seen... experienced... You're the strongest man I've ever met."

Fenris snorted and poured himself a large glass of Vint-9.

"Can we assume these Qunari are now dead?" Aveline asked, downing more ale.

"Yes."

"I hope they suffered." Donnic growled drawing a surprised look from his wife. "What?! I do!"

"There wasn't time." Fenris sighed, as Aveline turned her attention back to him. "And the leader wasn't there when I got Dorian out. He suffered, but not until he'd recaptured Dorian and tried to kill me."

"Bloody Andraste's tears Fenris." Aveline swore. "Why didn't you tell me any of this before we came here? If I'd known, you know I would have never spoken to him like that."

"I didn't expect you to do it so soon."

"I might not have if I hadn't seen how you were looking at him over dinner. It surprised me and... I was concerned about you."

"I know and I appreciate it Aveline. I don't know what to say except I'm sorry to have made you worry."

"It's all right Fenris. I shouldn't have doubted your judgment. So where do you go from here? I got the impression Dorian doesn't plan to stick around."

"He's going to Redcliff to meet a friend. His former mentor has been experimenting with time magic and his son has asked for Dorian's help."

"And you're planning to accompany him aren't you?" Aveline frowned.

"I don't doubt that he's a capable mage, but he's experienced a trauma. If the situation is as serious as I suspect, he will need someone watching his back."

"And how does he feel about you tagging along Fenris?"

"I haven't told him yet."

"You might want to do that before you make plans, or are you just going to follow him if he refuses your help?"

Fenris grunted and said nothing.

"Dammit Fenris." Aveline sighed. "You do know that Ferlden is in the middle of a war right? Mages and Templars are killing each other and anyone else that gets in the way. And Redcliff is right in the middle of it all."

"I'm aware." Fenris grunted, not looking up from his wine.

"Are you sure you can handle being around that much magic Fenris?"

"I suppose I'll find out."

Donnic chuckled under his breath. "Darling wife of mine, I love you but this is not a battle you can win. Fenris is going to go one way or another and nothing you say now is going to change that."

"I do appreciate the concern Aveline." Fenris added.

"Oh stop Fenris." Aveline grunted. "I admire you for what you're doing, its just... you put youself in danger all the time. I'm just afraid you're going to get into a situation you can't easily get out of."

"I'll be fine Aveline. After Redcliff, and depending on how it goes, I'm planning to continue on to Haven to check on Varric. I'd also like to see this Inquisition for myself. I left the Free Marches because the war has made my activities more difficult. Perhaps they have something I can do in the meantime."

"You really have thought about this." Aveline breathed, relaxing in her chair. "Alright, I'll stop worrying. But if you do see Varric, kick his ass for me. That dwarf hasn't bothered to write to let us know what's going on or why he hasn't returned to Kirkwall."

Fenris laughed. "I can do that."

\----xxx----

Dorian retreated to his room after leaving the dining hall. Once he'd closed the door to his room however, he had no idea what to do with himself.

The Guard-Captains scrutiny had thrown him off balance. He'd expected hostility from people in the south, but Aveline's cold stare and blunt speech had ruffled him badly. Then there was Fenris, defending him and standing up to his friend for a Tevinter mage. Kaffas, he was more than just unsettled, he was downright baffled.

Why was the elf acting like his personal bodyguard? He didn't owe him anything and he certainly hadn't done anything to warrant Fenris' concern. He settled on the bed with a loud sigh, staring at the small bookshelf he hadn't noticed earlier. It was mostly empty, save for less than a dozen titles.

Perhaps that was what he needed, he mused. Something to occupy his mind and bring clarity to his thoughts. Anything was better than dwelling on what had happened to him over the past two weeks. With a growl, he got to his feet to puruse the books, choosing one by that dwarf who'd written Tale of the Champion. It wasn't what he normally would have chosen for himself, but then normal wasn't exactly what he was doing now.

\----xxx----

After seeing Aveline and Varric to the door, Fenris had returned to the kitchen to clean before heading to his room. He hesitated on the landing, thinking to apologize to the mage for how Aveline had spoken to him. He listened, straining his ears, but could hear nothing and decided to let the man rest. There'd be time in the morning to apologize and despite not wanting to, he was going to have to let Dorian know he was coming with him to Redcliff.

Squaring his shoulders, he closed the door to his bedroom, stripped out of his clothes down to his smalls and fell into bed. He tossed and turned for over an hour, his mind wanting to analyze what he'd been feeling for the mage until he eventually exhasted himself and fell into a fitfull sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

*Italics indicate dreams and nightmares or memories

  


_ "Are you certain those were Hissrad's orders?" The Isskari asked again. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ The Qunari he'd addressed grunted, staring at the naked bas-sarrabas. The Vint was currently lashed to a table, arms and legs spread wide, a gag in his mouth and fear in his watery eyes. "He said we're to use him as we would a Tamrassan. He wants him punished for not cooperating and fighting back." _ _   
  
_

_ Isskari looked down at the sarrabas. The human was attractive enough considering he was a Vint. Sculpted limbs and taut abdomen strained at the bonds he was secured with. His cock was impressive despite it lying ignored and soft between his quivering thighs.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ If Hissrad was right, the mage would make an excellent captive bas-dathras. He wouldn't be taken to Par Vollen either. As a male bas-sarrabas, none of the Qun rules for Tamrassan applied; he could be taken on missions in the field, used whenever someone needed release and would have none of the protections or freedoms those loyal to the Qun had. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Isskari licked dry lips, his throat suddenly dry. "Pass me the oil." He growled to his comrade, loosening his breeches to free his hardening cock. The Vint protested from behind his gag, eyes filling with fear and struggling against his bonds as the Qunari caressed callused palms up the inside of the Vint's thighs. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "You want oil?" The other queried. "He's a tool Isskari." _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "He may be a tool, but I wish to take my time with this one. It's been a long time since I rutted a human. I plan to enjoy it." _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "As you wish." The other sighed, passing him a pot of oil. "Call me when you've finished. I want use of that pretty mouth." _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Isskari laughed as the Avaarad's words made the Vint's eyes flash with horror. "I'll be a while, but you'll be the first to know when I've finished." _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Popping the lid on the oil, he applied a generous amount to his now throbbing cock, watching the terror build in the mage's eyes.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Fingers coated in oil pushed past his tight ring of muscle and Dorian squeezed his eyes shut against the violation and the predatory look of satisfaction in the Qunari's eyes. He winced in shame as the fingers brushed against his prostate, his cock twitching in interest. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ A growl filled with lust filled the room and the fingers probed deeper, stretching him open. The Qunari's questing fingers continued to probe and thrust inside him, his breathing growing harsh as Dorian's cock hardened.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ He strained against his bonds, desperate to free himself as the Qunari removed his fingers and thick, strong thighs pressed against his own, the Qunari's large cock breaching his hole and stretching him impossibly wide. He screamed behind his gag, the burn near unbearable, the prick entering him filling his body past the point of mere discomfort into white hot pain. Tears rolled down his cheeks, his skin covered in a sheen of sweat as the Qunari held himself flush with his ass. His mind screamed for him to get away, get free, Maker, make it stop! And then his captor began to thrust and pain was all he knew. His back dragged against the rough wood of the table, the restraints chafing his wrists and ankles with every hard thrust from the Qunari whose cock was buried inside him. Tears rolled down his cheeks, his breathing shallow as he tried to find refuge in his mind and escape what he could not stop from happening. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ He blinked awake some time later, unsure of anything until a pain in his backside made itself known and a broken sob escaped him. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "Ah good. You're awake." A new voice said close to his ear. "I was afraid you'd sleep through what I have planned for my time with you." _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Dorian whimpered despite himself as he mind registered his new position with dread. He'd been taken from the table while unconscious and strapped to a waist high bench on his stomach. His wrists were secured to metal bolts in the floor. His legs were spread wide, exposing him to the room and held there by shackles secured to similar metal rings fastened around his ankles. A large, callused hand caressed his skin, tracing a path down his spine to tease at his entrance, but not enter. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ He flinched, his body tensing as the hand paused to fondle his balls, rolling them between large fingers, cupping and caressing them, confusing both his mind and body at the gentleness of the touch. His heart thrummed in his chest, his panic rising at what would come next. He could feel the presence of the Qunari move closer, hands now caressing both thighs, stroking upward to tease the flesh behind his balls and he tensed further. A low chuckle reached him and then the Qunari's mouth had engulfed his cock and he cried out in shock. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ The wet sounds of sucking filled the quiet space, interrupted only by Dorian's confused, whimpering cries of pleasure and shame as his cock lengthened and hardened under the Qunari's skilled tongue. He pulled at his restraints, fighting the reality of what was happening to him and then suddenly the mouth was gone. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ "Filthy bas-sarrabas." The Qunari growled, hands brushing against his trembling flesh as they traced a pattern up his thighs to pause at the small of his back. "You can no more control your cock than you can control your demon magic."  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Slick fingers probed his entrance, shoving inside him roughly as another hand caressed and fondled his sensitive sack. The mix of pain and pleasure had his panic rising even as the Qunari continued. "Dangerous bas. Dangerous bas-sarrabas. But you... you are but a tool." He grunted, shoving his wider girth inside Dorian's tight and much narrower passage, laughing with pleasure as the mage screamed at the intrusion and pain. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ He began thrusting to the sound of the mage's keening whimpers, his voice breaking into sobs when he gripped the Sarrabas' cock and squeezed, forcing it to remain hard. The mage's entire body was tense. Despite his position, despite the restraints holding him immobile, the mage's flesh quivered and trembled beneath Avaarad's relentless thrusting. It was the most lustful thing he'd ever seen in a bas and he pounded harder, wanting to break the pretty thing that quivered around his hard cock, while hoping it would never happen.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ His orgasm exploded through him, his vision going white as his fluid filled the sarrabas, his hips burying his cock deep in the flesh beneath him until he was certain the Sarrabas was filled to overflowing with his seed. He pulled out, relishing the pained cry from the mage, his cum trailing a stream of white down the Sarrabas' quivering flesh. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Pleased, he dried himself off and called to the Qunari waiting in the next room that he was finished. Vidathis was eager for a taste and was shoving his cock past the mage's swollen lips even before he'd finished buckling his breeches back in place. He left to the sound of  grunting and harsh, gasping breaths as the bas-sarrabas fought to breathe between the thrusts of the cock in his mouth. _   
  
Fenris bolted upright from his bed, confused as to what had woken him and then he heard Dorian screaming. Ice filled his veins as he raced from the room, down the hall, bursting through the door as Dorian screamed again. He was thrashing in his bed, spine stiff as his limbs flailed at invisible assailants, his covers tangled around his thighs as he continued fighting in his sleep.   
  
He hesitated, but could sense no trace of the Fade. He moved to the bed and restrained one of the mage's ankles in a vice-like grip to free him from the tangled sheet. Dorian whimpered at his touch, but continued to struggle on the bed, clearly trapped in a nightmare that made moving anything but his limbs impossible. Once freed, he moved to his other leg until the sheet was on the floor, yet Dorian continued to fight and whimper.   
  
Venhedis, Fenris swore. With only a brief hesitation, he crawled onto the bed, straddling the mage to trap his legs and pinning his arms at his sides to stop his struggling. Dorian whimpered, a broken sound that pulled at Fenris' heart as he bent closer to whisper in his ear.   
  
"Dorian." He said, eliciting a flinch as the mage continued to flex his muscles under him to free himself. "Dorian, it's Fenris. You're dreaming. You need to wake up."   
  
Dorian whimpered again and Fenris winced at the tear that fell down the mage's cheek even as the body beneath him grew lax. "Dorian? Can you hear me?"   
  
Another whimper and all tension left the mage in a rush, allowing Fenris to release the hold he had on his arms. He raised up on his knees to remove his weight from the mage's body and a huge sigh passed Dorian's lips. Breath held, Fenris waited as Dorian's eyes fluttered open, his gaze filled with pain.   
  
"Fenris?" He said, his voice raw from screaming. "Not real then."   
  
Fenris shifted off him, remaining perched on the bed. "No. A nightmare."   
  
"What did you hear?" He asked, fighting to keep the quaver in his voice hidden.   
  
"You were screaming in your sleep. Will you be all right for a moment? I would like to get you some tea."   
  
Dorian squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, unable to meet Fenris' eyes. "I... I will be fine. Tea sounds lovely Fenris."   
  


  


__


	21. Chapter 21

Fenris returned with a steaming pot of chamomile mint tea, setting it on a side table near the bed where Dorian sat quietly. He'd pulled on a loose shirt and pants, rubbing his thumb over his left palm in agitation.  
  
Fenris poured the tea, handing Dorian a full cup and settled at his side. "Are you all right mage?" He asked quietly.   
  
Dorian's exhale was shaky as he cupped the mug in his hands, blowing on the hot surface to cool it. "Not really."   
  
"Understandable." Fenris nodded, sipping his tea.   
  
"How... how did you manage after... after Seheron?" Dorian asked hesitantly. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, I just... I don't know how to get past this."   
  
Fenris grunted. "I will tell you, but not tonight. I... do not think my memories of my time on Seheron will help much, but I will tell you."   
  
"Just not now." Dorian murmured.   
  
"It is not a story suitable for tea and nightmares Dorian."   
  
"Oh. I... right, of course." Dorian stammered. "I mean, how could it be? Completely different circumstances and it was a long time ago."   
  
"It's not that." Fenris huffed. "I am here to listen if you want to talk, but I will say this, give yourself time to heal. Do not concern yourself with progress. It will take as long as it takes, there is no time limit on recovery."   
  
"You're right, I know you're right, I... Maker, I just don't feel..." Dorian broke off, his voice failing him.   
  
Fenris felt the bed shift and looked to the mage to find tears streaming down his cheek. Setting his cup aside, he gathered Dorian in his arms, holding him as silent sobs wracked his body.   
  
He felt Dorian relax in his arms, his tears subsiding as he pulled away to look into Fenris' eyes. Fenris' breath caught at the raw need he saw there and before he could think twice, he'd pressed a tender kiss to Dorian's parted lips.   
  
Dorian tensed, then a soft sigh escaped him, his body relaxing as he returned the kiss. He held tight to Fenris' waist as the elf broke the kiss to look in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."   
  
"I'm not." Dorian whispered. "Do it again?"   
  
"Mage." Fenris groaned, pressing his lips to his again, his pulse racing. Kissing Dorian was unlike anything he'd felt before as a confusing mix of desire and concern coursed through him. The mage was sighing and trembling in his arms as he opened to him, parting his lips to invite Fenris to explore and taste him.   
  
With a growl he broke the kiss, Dorian's pupils shot with black as he blinked back at him. His lips parted and swollen from their kiss, he appeared dazed. "That was amazing Fenris." He sighed.   
  
"I agree, but we should stop."   
  
"I know." Dorian nodded, dropping his arms back to his sides. "Thank you for the tea."   
  
Fenris put a hand to his cheek, making him meet his gaze. "I will stay with you tonight if you wish. But we cannot take this further, at least not yet."   
  
"You'll stay with me?"   
  
"I will."   
  
"Alright." Dorian murmured, shifting to one side of the bed to make room.   
  
"Relax mage." Fenris soothed, slipping under the blanket and pulling Dorian to him to rest his head on his chest. "If there is something to happen between us, I would like to take it slow."   
  
"You're serious."   
  
"Yes." Fenris agreed, carding his fingers through Dorian's hair. "I have never felt such things before and never imagined I would. If it is something you are open to, I would like to try."   
  
"I honestly don't know what to say Fenris. I would like that, but I also never imagined such a thing happening either."   
  
"Then we will discover how things like this work together."   
  
"That honestly terrifies me, but I can't imagine not having you near me either. You've grown on me Fenris."   
  
Fenris chuckled softly. "You have grown on me as well. Sleep mage, we can discuss this more in the morning."   
  
"Goodnight then." Dorian sighed.   
  
"*Dulcia somnia mage." 

 

\--------------

_*dulcia somnia = sweet dreams_

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

Fenris was up early the next day, packing for their trip to Val Royeaux when Aveline appeared in his kitchen.  
  
"Glad I caught you." She said, looking winded.   
  
"Aveline? I wasn't expecting to see you today. Is something wrong?"   
  
Aveline narrowed her eyes at him, arms crossing over her chest. "Are you all right Fenris? You don't look well."   
  
"That would be my fault." Dorian called from the doorway. "I kept him awake late last night."   
  
"It's to be expected." Fenris murmured with a faint blush staining his cheeks under Aveline's stare. "I'll be fine Aveline, but what brought you here so early?"   
  
"I received a letter for Lord Pavus. I've no idea why it came to me."   
  
"A letter? For me?" Dorian repeated. "Let me see that."   
  
Aveline handed it to him and he began to read, his brow creased in confusion before looking up to see Fenris watching him intently. "Well? What is it mage?"   
  
"It's from Felix. His father is already there and..."   
  
"And?"   
  
"And I don't think you should come with me."   
  
Fenris scowled. "Not this again. I told you, I'm not leaving your side before you've recovered. Stop trying to get rid of me."   
  
"It's not me I'm worried about Fenris."   
  
"What's the problem then?"   
  
"Alexius is bringing members of his cult with him, the Venatori."   
  
"So?"   
  
"So?! So?" Dorian exclaimed. "Venatori Fenris. Tevinter cult mages! Do I need to spell it out for you? Blood magic you fool! You think they won't recognize you on sight?"   
  
"I wasn't planning to announce myself mage."   
  
"Fenris, Dorian does have a point."   
  
"I do not need protection Aveline. I can take care of myself."   
  
"Vishante kaffas!" Dorian swore. "Its not about that Fenris! You can't attack them, you can't do anything to them. If Alexius finds out I'm there he'll kill us both and I won't be able to stop him from using the amulet."   
  
"I'm not staying behind mage." Fenris growled. "I will keep you safe and do what is needed, but I'm coming with you even if I have to follow you in secret."   
  
"You... you are the most stubborn, pig-headed, infuriating man I've ever met! Fine! Have it your way. Just don't say I didn't warn you when your quest for vengeance destroys the fabric of time. Excuse me, but I need to finish packing."   
  
"The fabric of time?" Aveline frowned. "What did he mean by that Fenris?"   
  
"He believes his former mentor  figured out how to use time magic. He intends to stop him from using it."   
  
"Shit." Aveline swore. "Why couldn't you have found a nice safe warrior or rogue to rescue? I don't suppose asking you not to do this would do any good?"   
  
Fenris snorted. "No, I don't suppose it would."   
  
"Didn't think so." She sighed, dropping her arms. "Just promise me you'll be careful all right? I don't want to hear that something bad has happened to you."   
  
"I'll be careful Aveline."   
  
"Very well. It's all I ask. But be sure about your choices before you agree to something Fenris. I don't want to see you get hurt."   
  
"Alright." Fenris nodded, humbled by her words. "I... thank you for your concern."   
  
"Right. Enough of that then. I'll keep watch over your place here, so don't worry about that and when you see Varric, kick his ass for me. He's been gone months without bothering to let me know how he's doing."   
  
"I will."   
  
"Take care of yourself Fenris. Stay safe."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
Fenris booked passage on a ship to Jader, Dorian scowling at him the entire time over stubborn elves who believed themselves to be indestructible and pig-headed when he refused Dorian's coin. His tone changed dramatically two hours later.   
  
His face was covered in a sheen of sweet, his skin pale as he heaved his breakfast over the railing of the shop. The seasickness had hit him an hour after leaving port and he'd managed to ignore it for a good twenty minutes before the nausea overtook him. Hands shaking, he was just sinking to his knees on the deck when Fenris appeared at his side.   
  
"That's perfect mage." He growled. "When were you planning to tell me you get seasick?"   
  
"Never." Dorian snapped, though his voice lacked any heat since it came out as more of a weak croak than anything resembling irritation. "Since I never planned to have company on this crossing."   
  
"Then you're not only stubborn, you're foolish. We could have stocked up on elfroot before we left Kirkwall."   
  
"And what good would that do? I'm not injured you ass, I'm merely dizzy."   
  
"You'll be more than just dizzy if you can't keep any food down."   
  
"I'll be fine. Stop fussing over me and treating me like an invalid... I..." Whatever he'd been about to say was interrupted when he lurched to his feet and heaved over the side again. His heart was racing and his hands clammy when he pressed his forehead to the railing to steady himself.   
  
"Venhedis mage." Fenris snorted, helping him back to the deck floor. "Drink this."   
  
"I don't want it."   
  
"Drink it. You didn't have much to eat this morning and whether you eat or not is neither here nor there at the moment. You have to be able replenish your water intake or you risk dehydration."   
  
"Fine! If it will make you stop harping at me." He snarled, snatching the potion from Fenris' and downing it in a single swallow.   
  
Scowling at the minty, acerbic taste, he relaxed as warmth bloomed in his chest, the potion settling his nerves and calming the nausea and pounding in his head. Fenris watched him, his back pressed to the railing, arms crossed and saying nothing.   
  
"There. Are you happy? Can you stop fussing now?"   
  
"That depends. Are you capable of making it to our room, or are you going to be ill again?"   
  
"Of course I can make it." Dorian snapped, getting to his feet. "And no, I'm not going to be sick, I..." He paused, his head swimming as black shadows crossed his vision. " I don't feel right..." He murmured, glaring at the elf. "What was in that potion Fenris? What did you do?"   
  
Fenris said nothing as Dorian's eyes rolled back in his head, moving to catch him as he collapsed to the deck, unconscious. The sleep potion he'd mixed in with the elfroot had worked faster than he'd expected, but that was likely due to the lack of food in Dorian's system.   
  
Grunting with effort, he picked him up and carried him back to their shared quarters below deck. The sleep potion was all he could think to do since they didn't have enough healing potions for their trip across the sea. He knew Dorian would be furious when he woke, but he'd deal with that when it happened. Better furious than need several days ashore to recover his strength.   
  
With a loud sigh, he covered the mage with a blanket and settled in a chair to keep watch. 

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

Four days later, they were an hour outside Redcliff and Dorian was still refusing to speak to him. Aside from occasional grunts of acknowledgement that Fenris had spoken, but now Fenris had had enough.  
  
"Mage." Fenris growled for the third time, following Dorian's angry march through the Hinterlands. "You can't ignore me forever. I told you I was sorry for drugging you, but you didn't give me much choice."  
  
Dorian's back tensed, but he didn't stop or slow his pace.  
  
"Dorian please. I did it so you wouldn't need time to recover after we reached port."  
  
"You could have asked me first!" Dorian snapped.  
  
"You're right, I should have asked." He said, putting a hand to Dorian's arm and pulling him to a stop. "I... made a mistake. I wasn't thinking of how it might affect you. I only wanted to ease your suffering."  
  
"Fine. Apology accepted." Dorian replied, though his mouth was set in a grim line. "But don't think for one minute that I trust you. It never occurred to you that someone might have done that to me before, with much less pleasant outcomes did it?"  
  
Fenris ducked his head, shame filling him as he avoided Dorian's glare. "No I... no, it didn't."  
  
"Well I believe that much." He snorted. "So. This is how things are going to go from here on out. You do as I say and stay out of sight. I can't have the Venatori or Alexius spotting either of us, and you're not to interfere when I meet the Herald. Is that clear? No heroics. Nothing."  
  
"It is. Crystal clear. But don't expect me to stand idly by and allow you get hurt either."  
  
"I have no intention of being hurt. I can take care of myself thank you."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Fine."  
  
\----xxx----

  
An hour later, Fenris was hidden in the forest outside Redcliff, near the rear of the Chantry building. Despite the distance, he could feel how thin the Veil was here and the odd pulse of a strange magic at work.  
  
"The Veil is thin here." He said, catching Dorian's eye. "Do you know why?"  
  
"Why are you asking me?"  
  
"You're a mage, an educated noble. Why wouldn't you know?"  
  
"There was a blight Fenris. Perhaps the darkspawn or the archdemon is to blame. There was a bit of trouble here when the blight began. All I heard was some story of undead attacking the village. Pick something."  
  
"What of the magic here? Why does it feel strange?"  
  
Dorian scowled at him. "You can feel that? Of course you can. All the more reason for you not to be here. If I'm right, it's time magic and Alexis has already used the amulet. If it affects the tear in the veil, it could destroy the fabric of time and space itself."  
  
"And you think you can stop him."  
  
"If anyone can, it's me. I helped develop it and no else besides Alexius knows now it works."  
  
Fenris huffed a breath, staring down at the Chantry building. "And you think the Herald will believe you?"  
  
"I don't know Fenris, I would suggest praying." Dorian retorted. “You promise you'll stay here? You won't come charging down there and interfere with what I need to do?"  
  
"Against all my instincts to the contrary, I will stay here."  
  
"Good." Dorian nodded, setting off down the hill. "I'll return after I've spoken to the Herald."  
  
\----xxx----  
  
Two hours later, they were following the Inquisitor's party back to Haven. An ebony-haired Seeker scowled at them over her shoulder, whispering to the Herald in hushed tones. A blonde female elf rode ahead, muttering about stupid mages and stupider magic, ignoring everyone. And the mage the Herald had brought watched them both in eerie silence.  
  
An apostate mage, with neither the easy-going manner of a city elf nor the markings of the Dalish vallaslin made Fenris scowl at him every time their eyes met.  
  
"Why are you scowling Fenris?" Dorian asked from astride the mount on his left.  
  
"That mage. The apostate. I don't like how he's staring at is."  
  
Dorian sniffed, dismissing his comment as unimportant. "Yes, well, he probably thinks you're my slave. I am a Tevinter after all and I don't think he'd believe anything else you told him. Besides, I'm used to being singled out and sneered at. Part and parcel of being a pariah."  
  
"You're no more a pariah than he is Dorian." Fenris retorted. "I wish you would stop saying such things about yourself."  
  
"But it's true. I'm also damaged goods now in case you've forgotten. My father would be pleased by that. I'll no longer be able to sully the Pavus name with my preferences any more than I already have, since no man will ever want me now."  
  
Fenris shot him a look filled with equal parts hurt and anger. "What are you saying Pavus? I'm not good enough for you? Too scandalous and embarrassing to be seen with a former slave?"  
  
"What?!" Dorian exclaimed, a flush staining his cheeks. "No! That's not what I meant... I... fasta vaas! We shouldn't be talking about this. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm just afraid of Alexius using that amulet again and I'm trying to distract myself."  
  
"I know what you meant mage. Stop digging yourself a bigger hole. You might not be able to get out again." Fenris hissed, kneeing his horse into a trot.  
  
"Fenris, wait." Dorian called as quiet as he could, not wanting to be overheard. But Fenris ignored him, his back stiff with anger and kept going.  
  
He sighed, muttering curses to himself. He hadn't meant to say what he had, even though he'd been thinking it for some time. Yes, he felt an attraction for Fenris and didn't doubt Fenris felt something similar for him. Unfortunately, he no longer wanted to act on it.  
  
How would it look? He was already viewed as a second-class citizen. Taking a former elven slave as his lover would mark him as nothing more than an opportunist. Or worse, a predator since everyone would just assume he was taking advantage of Fenris' unconscious desire for a master. Not that anyone would say it such a thing to the warrior if they knew Fenris at all and certainly not to his face if they valued their life, but others would surely assume it.  
  
Besides, he reasoned, ignoring the pang of loss his thoughts sparked, Fenris could do much better than him. Less baggage, less complication and certainly less controversy. The fact that they shared similarities in their experience of abuse was not enough to share a bond over. Certainly not a healthy one or so he tried to convince himself.  
  
No. It was better for both of them for Fenris to direct his attention and affection elsewhere. Getting involved with an outcast mage and all the mess that entailed was not what he deserved.  
  
\----xxx----  
  
Fenris fumed silently as they rode further east into the rocky hills of the Hinterlands, heading deeper into the Frostbacks. He knew Dorian had spoken from anger, but he was shocked by how much it hurt to hear that Dorian didn't see him as a man.  
  
He scoffed at himself. It really should not have surprised him. The mage was a pampered, noble Vint.  Seeing him show a side of himself he'd never seen any mage display had shaken him. One of loneliness, despair, hurt and heartbreak had affected him deeply. Dorian had shown him gratitude, deference and a level of respect he'd never known. Which was why he'd been so hurt by Dorian's words.  
  
Maybe the mage was right. Maybe his feelings for the Altus was nothing more than a side-effect of rescuing him. That he'd gotten too close to him before knowing anything about him as a person. Fenris swore under his breath. Kaffas, it wasn't hard to believe that anything Dorian felt was nothing more complicated than gratitude. He certainly hadn't shown any reluctance to leave him behind in Kirkwall.  
  
Fasta vaas! What was he even doing here? Following a Vint mage around like a lost puppy in need of a purpose. Was he that desperate for a connection to someone that he'd attached himself to first powerful and attractive mage he came across? He did not need a master, he snarled angrily to himself. He'd survived without anyone for years after the destruction of Kirkwall's Chantry. This was nothing more than a passing interest based on no more than a kinship of past abuse. If the mage felt nothing for him, then it was clear he'd been looking blindly at the situation and there was no reason to stay at his side.  
  
Shoving all thought of the mage away and the memory of their kiss, he urged his mount forward, eager to put distance between himself and his conflicted feelings for the infuriating Altus.


	24. Chapter 24

To say Varric was surprised to see him would have been a gross understatement. If not for his stoicism, Fenris was certain the dwarf would have fainted. After taking his leave of the Herald, Varric dragged him to The Singing Maiden, a tiny tavern in the centre of the village. The dwarf shoved a large tankard of ale at him, his eyes bright with happiness as Fenris took a seat across from him.

"It seems I might finally have you at a loss for words Varric." Fenris mused with a light chuckle, resting his elbows on the table.

"I'm speechless elf. What in Andraste's flaming knickers are you doing here? Who's that mage you arrived with? Have you heard from Hawke? Shit Fenris, I can't believe you're here."

Fenris laughed at the steady steam of words that fell from Varric's lips. "It's good to see you too Varric. As to your questions, I haven't heard from Hawke. I came to the Free Marches with the mage. He's from Tevinter."

Varric sputtered, nearly choking on his ale. "A Tevinter mage? With you? And he's still breathing? Nug shit Fenris, what in the Maker's name happened? He didn't put a blood thrall on you did he? Cuz there's a mage enchanter here who can fix that."

"No blood thrall Varric. And I haven't lost my mind either." Fenris sighed. "We met by accident. He was a captive of a small squad of Ben-Hassrath. I rescued him from them."

"Ben-Hassrath? Qunari? Wait. Don't the Qunari automatically use sar-qamek on non-qunari mages? Why isn't he a drooling idiot?

Fenris' eyes darkened, hiding them beneath his fringe in remembrance of how he'd found Dorian and Varric swore at the look on his face. "That's not how that particular leader operated. He was... interrogating him first."

"First?" Varric echoed, his mind filling with questions he wasn't sure he wanted answered to.

"They had him nine days before I stumbled on their camp. They're dead now."

"Shit elf. And here I thought surviving the Conclave explosion was trying." Varric murmured. "So uh... why did you stay with him after that? Didn't seem like the two of you were all that friendly towards each other when you arrived."

"I heard you survived the explosion and Aveline asked me to kick your ass when I saw you. She's pretty pissed you haven't gotten in touch."

"Damn, I never thought Aveline would miss me that much. But kicking my ass? She's wanted to do that ever since Hard in Hightown came out, but still... the world is full of surprises huh?"

"A few too many if you ask me." Fenris agreed. "But what of you? I thought you were a prisoner of the Seeker. What are you still doing here?"

"I knew you were going to ask me that." Varric grumbled. "But if I'm telling that story, we're going to need more ale."

\----xxx----

Dorian followed the Herald into Haven as Fenris ran off in the company of his dwarven friend towards a small tavern. The further he walked, the more he filled with trepidation. Without Fenris at his side, he felt exposed and vulnerable under the constant suspicuous glares he was getting from the townspeople.

The Herald led him inside the town Chantry and he had to stop a moment to get his breathing under control to quell the rising panic in his chest. They entered a small office space where the Herald introduced him to a woman who was clearly of noble Antivan descent.

She eyed him critically before extending a hand in greeting, a bright smile on her face. "It's a pleasure to meet you Lord Pavus. I hear you were of great service to the Herald in Redcliff."

"I was of help certainly, though I'm not certain it can be deemed great by any standards." He replied, feeling uncomfortable.

"He's teasing Josephine." The Herald smiled. "We wouldn't have known anything about Alexius' plans if not for him."

"Of course Your Grace. I assume you wish to find him suitable accommodations then?"

"Don't go to any trouble on my account." Dorian protested. "I'm sure anything you can provide will be a vast improvement over sleeping on the ground."

"There's a man after my own heart." The Herald beamed, clapping him on the shoulder. "I'll take him to the cabin by the apothecary's if that's all right Josephine."

"Perfect, Your Grace. I was just about to suggest the same. Is there anyone you wish to notify of your arrival Lord Pavus? Our spymaster has the best messenger birds in all of Thedas."

"No thank you My Lady. There's no one."

"Well if you need anything at all, please let me know."

Dorian nodded and followed the Herald back outside to a cabin just to the left of the Chantry. Inside were two beds and he set his small travel bag on the one with no personal items nearby.

"You'll be sharing with Adan, our apothecary. I hope that won't be a problem." The Herald said, watching him intently.

"No problem at all. It's a vast improvement over sleeping under the stars and more than I expected."

The Herald frowned, motioning for Dorian to follow him back outside. "We didn't get a chance to talk earlier. I'm obviously the Herald, but my name is Alex Trevelyan. I'm a Free Marcher out of Wycome and not at all in agreement with being hailed as the Herald of Andraste."

"And I, as you know, am Dorian Pavus recently of Minrathous."

"So are you a Magister?"

"No I'm an Altus, never reached the status of becoming a member of the Magisterium."

"Right." Alex nodded. "So um... that elf you were with. Is he a friend or... something? He seems familiar and if he knows Varric..."

"Friend might be too simple a term actually. Let's just say that it's complicated and leave it at that. As for Varric, if you've read _Tale of the Champion..."_

"So it _is_ Fenris. I thought so but... forgive me, but I thought he hated mages. Tevinter mages especially."

"That's a story I can't share, but I can assure you he means me no harm and I haven't put him under a blood thrall either."

"Maker's breath Dorian, I would never think..."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence, but there are others who will ask. Best to get it over with sooner rather than later."

"Unfortunately, you have a point." Alex sighed. "I'm actually surprised Cullen hasn't demanded I lock you up on principle."

"Cullen?"

"Former Templar and Knight-Captain of Kirkwall. It's a long story, but I should get going before Josephine sends out a search party for me."

"It's been a pleasure talking to you Herald." Dorian smiled.

"Please, call me Alex. And the pleasure was all mine." He said, giving him a wink before turning and heading back to the Chantry.

Dorian gaped at the Herald's retreating back, blinking in disbelief. The Herald had just flirted with him. Either that or he had just hallucinated an entire conversation.

Still stunned, he debated heading to the tavern for a drink, but quickly rejected the idea. Fenris was there, visiting with his friend and he had no desire to pretend they were on speaking terms. He hadn't meant to hurt the warrior's feelings, he was indebted to the elf, owed him his life. But Fenris deserved better than him.

With a sigh he couldn't hold in, he returned to the cabin. Too much had happened since Redcliff and he was far too tired and worried to deal with Fenris or even begin to sort out his feelings for the warrior now. There'd be time later, assuming Alexius didn't manage to destroy the world in the meantime.

\----xxx----

Fenris woke late, having foregone the offer of a cabin, instead taking one of the tent's near Varric. The sound of Inquisition forces going about the day reached him as he pulled on his armour and stepped outside into a crisp, cold morning.

Varric looked up from his chair by the fire, nodding to him in greeting. He raised a steaming mug in his direction, handing it to him as he took a seat nearby.

"Elf." Varric smiled. "I don't remember you being the sleeping in type. You must have been tired."

"I've been travelling a long time." Fenris admitted, sipping the beverage he held and frowning at the taste. "What am I drinking?"

Varric chuckled. "It's coffee, I know you've at least heard of it. Compliments of our Lady Ambassador. Thought you might like to try it. Just don't drink too much at once, it can make you jumpy."

"It's bitter."

"You can add honey or milk if you like. It's a bit of an aquired taste, not unlike the swill they serve at the Hanged Man."

"I like the smell of it." Fenris conceded, looking around the small square. "Things seem a bit quiet around here. Is this all of the Inquisition forces?"

"Not exactly. The Herald headed back to Redcliff this morning to meet with that Tevinter Magister."

"The Herald's gone?" Fenris exclaimed, panic rising as he scanned the area for the mage, even though he knew Dorian wasn't there. "But they just got back."

"Messenger bird arrived late last night. None of the advisors wanted to wait on this. A Tevinter Magister in Ferelden could start a war." Varric paused. "Though Curly had some objections."

"Curly?"

"Oh right, didn't have time to show you around last night, but Cullen is here. Commander of the Inquisition's forces."

"Knight-Captain Cullen?"

"Yep. One and the same." Varric nodded. "He's changed a bit since Kirkwall and there's a rumour he might be trying to give up the lyrium."

"That's... surprising. Dangerous too, yet somewhat admirable at the same time. I imagine what happened in Kirkwall influenced that decision."

"Most likely, but you'll have to ask him about that if you want to know." Varric replied, not letting it show on his face that he'd noticed Fenris' brief flare of panic over the missing mage. "So I'll take you around to meet everyone in a bit, but first... I gotta ask about Dorian. What's up with that?"

"I'm not certain I can explain it in any way that makes sense Varric. He... venhedis. I made a promise to keep him safe and I failed and I... well it doesn't matter now. He doesn't want my help."

"Shit." Varric swore, his eyes thoughtful at Fenris' guilty expression. This was a shock. If Varric didn't know better, he'd swear the elven warrior had feelings for a Tevinter mage. Which was crazy. "Well come on elf, let's go see Cullen. Maybe giving him a shock will help cheer you up."

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

Getting sucked through time was not Dorian's idea of a good way to spend his day. While Alex was quizzing him on how to fix what had happened, he was barely managing to maintain the panic that clawed at his thoughts. The water they stood in was doing very bad things to his mind. A memory of the Qunari surfaced and he pushed it away, forcing himself to focus on following the Herald out of Redcliff castle.

When they came across Fiona fused with Red Lyrium, he forced a witty remark past his lips to keep from being ill. But when they found Leliana, her arms stretched above her head with her face ravaged by a year of torture, he couldn't contain his fear. No one could tell that the spells he cast were landing wild or that the power behind them wasn't fuelled by control but by rage and panic. An image of Fenris rose in his mind and he barely managed to keep from crying the warrior's name as he followed the Herald into the courtyard and saw the massive breach above them, overtaking the world.

Some control reasserted itself when his initial panic had nowhere to go and he was needed to solve the riddle of the door preventing them from reaching Alexius. But once he and the Herald returned through time and confronted Alexius again, it took every ounce of control he had not to fall apart.

Back on the road to Haven, with some of the rebel mages following in their wake, Dorian had no one to talk to. The Herald was overwhelmed with concerns from both his own forces and the mage's who didn't believe he'd made them allies. He distracted himself by eavesdropping on random conversations, but the only thing he wished for in that moment was to see Fenris.

Of course, thinking of the warrior only made his anxiety worse since he'd been the one to push Fenris away before they even reached Haven. It then occurred to him that the elf might not even be there on his return and he was shocked by how much that hurt. To know it was his own fault... he couldn't bear to think about it. So when they made camp for the night and Alex offered him a drink, he had no self-control left to refuse.

"You've been quiet since we left Redcliff Dorian." Alex noted, his eyes filled with worry. "Are you all right?"

"I should be the one asking you that." Dorian countered, the Herald's concern making his heart flutter in panic like a trapped bird. "I am partially responsible for Alexius' amulet working after all."

"True, but you helped me stop him. And it can't have been easy seeing how far he'd fallen."

"No, it wasn't. But I knew already that it wouldn't be a pretty sight. We argued quite a lot before I left, and I saw him after he'd joined the Venatori. It was like looking at a stranger."

"You're a very balanced man Dorian. I don't know that I'd be as calm if our positions were reversed."

Dorian arched a brow at him, downing a large swallow of the whiskey Alex had poured him. They were the only ones still sitting at the fire, which, he supposed was only to be expected. No one else had seen the devastating future they had.

"I don't see how you can say that. You were the only survivor of a massive explosion, started as a prisoner, lived through receiving that mark on your hand, sealed the breach, recruited the rebel mages and are now giving orders on what you want done. If anything, I should be aspiring to your level of calm."

"You're making it very hard to pay you a compliment." Alex said, his eyes suggestive.

Dorian swallowed hard. "Oh? Is that what you were doing? My apologies then, I'm not accustomed to receiving compliments."

Alex smiled and slid closer to him on the bench they shared. Dorian's hands were instantly damp, his heart pounding as the Herald reached across him and refilled his glass of whiskey. "Tell me about yourself." Alex whispered, his gaze flicking over Dorian's lips before returning to his eyes.  
  
"What would you like to know?" He stammered with an internal wince.

"What does an Altus do growing up in the Imperium?"

"Study mostly. Try not to embarrass your family. Dress in fashions that make everyone envious, pass every test at the top of your class."

"What about fun? No time for enjoying yourself? Perhaps indulging a little?"

"Haven't you heard? Indulgence is the national pastime in Tevinter. It's our execesses that get us noticed, but not when you're an Altus and your parent's only heir. What about you? What was yours like?"

Alex smiled, his eyes letting him know he knew Dorian had avoided his question and wasn't about to let it go. "I never gave much thought to denying myself. Especially after my sister was sent to the Circle."

Dorian downed another mouthful of whiskey, the burn no longer noticeable. His limbs felt heavy and pliant and he thought maybe he'd had too much when Alex topped him up again. "You have a sister who's a mage?" He asked, this time wincing at how slurred his speech was.

"I do. Far as I know she's still there. If not she's probably taken shelter in Wycome somewhere away from the Templars."

"Is that why you recruited the mages?" Dorian was starting to become very concerned about where this was going. Alex was now pressed into his side, one of his hands idly stroking Dorian's arm in a soothing rhythm.

"Partly. Mostly just because I never cared for the Templars or the Chantry. They espouse the evils of magic all the time in the Chant. Yet they use blood magic to track escaped mages, leash the Templars by controlling the lyrium trade and teach them how to use magic against mages. It's blatant hypocrisy and in many ways a socially accepted form of slavery."

"I had no idea you had such strong feelings on the subject." Dorian murmured, the panic he knew he should be feeling drowning under the alcohol he'd consumed as Alex's eyes grew dark with desire.

"Mmm. I have strong feelings about many things, but I'd much rather talk about you. What you said about growing up an Altus... you never indulged once or twice?"

"Once or twice, yes." Dorian admitted, unable to stop himself.

"And Fenris. What is he to you? I know you said it was complicated, but..."

"Are you asking if we're together?"

"I thought that was obvious." Alex countered, a twinkle in his eye.

"No, we're not together. At least not in the way I think you're asking."

"Good." Alex murmured. It was all the warning Dorian got before Alex had captured his lips with his, his tongue swiping his mouth and forcing itself past his whiskey numbed lips. A hand pressed into his lower back pulled him closer, Alex's arousal grinding into his hip.

He let out a moan of protest that Alex took as encouragement, holding him tighter as his other hand slid to his breeches, giving his cock an experimental squeeze. "You are a sinfully beautiful man Dorian Pavus." Alex growled in his ear, pulling him to his feet where he swayed in place. "Looks like you might have had too much gorgeous. Let's get you somewhere more comfortable shall we?"

Dorian tried to argue that now was not a good time, but the whiskey muddled his thoughts as Alex dragged him by the hand to his tent. Inside, the Herald wasted no time getting Dorian out of his armour, shoving him onto his back and onto his bedroll while he stripped himself as bare as the mage now was. Dorian whimpered at the sight of Alex's cock; hard, red and glistening as he bent over Dorian's prone form, settling between his spread thighs.

He tried again to tell the Herald he didn't want this, but his voice failed him as Alex closed a fist around his erection and began to stroke. He moaned, his limbs refusing to move him out of the Herald's reach while Alex loomed over him, capturing his mouth with another demanding kiss.

Alex hummed in approval when Dorian moaned again, unable to lift his arms against him. "Seems you might have had more than you can handle. Don't worry sweetheart, I'll take care of you."

Alex's hand left his cock then, carresing his thighs, past his balls to press lightly against his entrance. Dorian winced again, his body tensing as a finger entered him, stroking against his protrate and making his cock twitch with interest. "So tight darling." Alex cooed, leaning up and away. He returned a moment later, one hand stroking his cock, the other coated in slick as he teased his entrance and slipped a finger inside him again.

All thought of stopping what was happening ended a moment later when Alex pulled his hips over his thighs and thrust his cock inside him. He squeezed his eyes shut at the intrusion, snapping them open a second later when the image of the Hissrad leering at from between his spread legs bloomed in his memory.

A whimper escaped him, his heart thrumming in his chest in panic while Alex groaned and began thrusting harder, pounding inside him as he chased his pleasure. To his dismay, his cock remained hard, slapping and bouncing obscenely against his abdomen with every thrust of Alex's hips.

"Maker Dorian, you're so tight." Alex gasped between thrusts. "You feel so good on my cock. I'm going to make you scream my name. You'll be feeling me all day tomorrow."

Dorian grunted, clamping his mouth shut on the cry of protest that tried to force it's way past his lips as Alex began stroking him in time with his thrusts. Dorian's cock grew harder, his abdomen clenching in denial that this was even remotely pleasurable and then he was coming, crying out in release and humiliation. His seed spattered his chest at the same time warmth bloomed inside him, Alex's hips stuttering to a stop against his thighs as he filled him with his seed.

Alex collapsed forward, his breath coming in gasps, slipping free of Dorian's body before falling to the bedroll at his side. "Maker, that was amazing!" He panted, chest heaving. He turned on his side to press a kiss to Dorian's cheek and fell back again, his breathing slowly returning to normal.

"You were amazing Dorian." He said, sitting up to rummage in his pack. "Here, let me get you cleaned up."

Dorian said nothing when Alex pressed a cloth to his chest, wiping away the evidence of his release. "Thank you Alex." He managed to whisper past the turmoil in his guts. "Have you seen my clothes?"

"Of course, they're right here." He said, fumbling in the shadowy dark and pressing Dorian's armour into his hands. "Guess we better get some sleep before the rest of the camp wakes up." Alex mused as Dorian started dressing, glad that the darkened tent hid how his hands shook.

"Probably wise." Dorian agreed.

"So, are you okay to get to your tent on your own?"

"I'm sure I can manage. It's not far."

"Well good." Alex replied, falling back down to his bedroll. "You had quite a bit of whiskey tonight. Guess I helped you burn some of it off."

"So it would seem." Dorian agreed, his previous panic slowly being replaced with anger.

"I enjoyed that Dorian, I wouldn't mind doing it again if you're interested."

"I might be." He replied, letting a small teasing note enter his voice.

"Tease." Alex chuckled as Dorian made for the tent opening. "Oh, and Dorian? Let's keep this between the two of us for the time being. We don't need to make things unnecessarily complicated before the Inquisition has barely gotten off the ground."

"I agree. There are already too many complications in the world."

"Perfect. So glad you agree. Goodnight Dorian."

"Goodnight Herald."


	26. Chapter 26

Varric went to talk to Cullen, leaving Fenris outside the circle of recruits who were in the middle of practicing their drills. He watched the soldiers hit each other with wooden swords, while others blocked their attacks with cheap wooden shields. As recruits went, they weren't bad, but their practice weapons were worse than pathetic. He'd seen Hawke scavenge better swords from Kirwall's undercity than the one's the Inquisition were using.

He was drawn from his reverie at the crunch of boots on rough, snow covered ground and looked up to see Cullen and Varric approaching. Varric was wearing a shit-eating grin, which he stifled as soon as he noticed Fenris' scowl.

"Serah Fenris." Cullen greeted him, offering his hand.

Fenris covered his surprise at the gesture, taking Cullen's hand and giving it a perfunctory shake. "Knight-Captain Cullen."

Cullen chuckled, deepening Fenris' surprise since he couldn't ever recall seeing the man smile, never mind laugh out loud. "Not anymore I'm afraid. Now I'm Commander Cullen of the Inquisition forces. Such as they are."

"I have to admit I never expected you to leave Kirkwall or support anything like the Inquisition." Fenris admitted.

"That makes two of us. But after what happened with Meredith... Well, when Seeker Cassandra arrived, she asked if I'd be interested in helping and I accepted."

"Yeah." Varric drawled. "Curly here was more than happy to leave Kirkwall. Smiled all the way across the Waking Sea, though I suspect it was more due to my not having sea legs and giving him a show."

"Actually, it was how you didn't appear to value your life with how much you antagonized the Seeker." Cullen muttered.

"Now that I believe." Fenris chuckled.

"Right. Well I'm gonna let you two chat. I need to speak to Harritt about a repair he was working on for Bianca. Come find me later elf, we'll share an ale."

Cullen watched Varric walk away before turning back to Fenris who was watching the recruits. "I have to admit, I was surprised to see you. And in the company of a mage no less. I was under the impression you shared many of my views on mages and magic."

Fenris snorted. "Yes, well things change apparently. I... saw a lot of bad things happen in Kirkwall, many of which were done by ordinary men. Power corrupts, no matter what kind a man might wield."

"True enough." Cullen nodded. "I learned that the hard way unfortunately. When the truth about Meredith, her methods and how far she went in her persecution of mage's came to light. That... it was not a good day."

"Hmph."

"So this mage you arrived with, may I ask how that happened?"

"An accident. From there I offered to accompany him to Haven. I heard Varric survived what happened at the Conclave and Aveline wanted me to express her irritation to him."

Cullen laughed. "I can only imagine what that sounded like. Guard-Captain Aveline is a very capable woman. Kirkwall is in good hand with her in charge of the city guards."

"I have to agree with that." Fenris nodded, waving a hand at the recruits. "But I also seem to have interrupted your work. I should let you get back to it."

"Actually I've been trying to figure out how to ask you something." Cullen admitted, a faint blush colouring his pale complexion.

"Oh?"

"Yes, well I was wondering if you might be interested in helping to train in the recruits. Just a few easy moves perhaps or some methods you would be willing to pass on. Or... well, if that's not something you'd be comfortable with, then maybe you could spar with me. Show the soldiers what a true battle looks like."

Fenris couldn't have been more shocked by the suggestion than if the Archon himself had suddenly appeared to grant him his fredom. "You... want to spar with me?"

"If you are willing. I have seen you in battle Fenris. Your speed, your technique. If I hadn't chosen to side with Hawke against Meredith's madness, I'm certain I would have been on the receiving end of your skills."

"I... thank you for the compliment. When do you wish to do this?"

"Would now be all right? The recruits will be heading to dinner soon. I haven't had anyone with equal skill with which to spar with other than the Seeker. Unfortunately, getting bested by Cassandra doesn't generate much respect in new recruits who need to follow orders. Cassandra does help train them as much as I, but they take their orders from me."

Fenris smirked. "I can see how that could become a problem in the field. Very well. I will wait for your men to finish up and we can spar. In the meantime, I think I'll have a word with your blacksmith. See if he has the skills and resources needed to repair my sword."

"Excellent." Cullen beamed. "I'm looking forward to this Fenris "

\----xxx----

Dorian stepped out of the Herald's tent, his hands shaking as he stumbled through the camp to his own shelter. Thankfully he wasn't sharing this time and as soon as he ducked inside, he cast a spell of silence on the structure just as tears streamed unchecked down his flushed cheeks. He collapsed to his kneees, hands pawing at his travel bag and coming up with a regeneration potion clutched in his hand.

Downing it, he closed his eyes hugging himself and rocking back and forth on his knees. He felt used and weak from what he'd allowed to happen. It wasn't that he hadn't said no, though that was part of it. No, it was that he'd known what the Herald was doing even before he'd plied him with alcohol. He knew he would be unable to resist the Herald's advances and drank anyway, stubbornly pretending he didn't care what happened.

He'd wanted to feel desired and worshipped. He'd wanted to banish the memories of what had happened in the Free Marches. But he'd known as soon as Alex had spoken, he'd made a terrible mistake. With Alex looming above him, his body too adled with drink to allow him to participate, it had left him as helpless as if Alex had tied him up like the Qunari had done.

With every thrust of Alex's cock inside his body, the image of the Hissrad and the other Qunari loomed over him. Their leering, lust-filled gazes filled his mind, leaving him on the verge of tears. By the time Alex finished, he was angry and filled with self-loathing, but it was nothing compared with the utter desolation he felt when Alex told him he didn't want anything more.

In his mind it was no surprise a man like the Herald would want anything more. Besides, as he'd told Fenris, he was damaged goods. No man in their right mind would want a mage who'd been cast out by his own country, never mind see him as anything but a good time.

The regeneration potion worked it's way though his body, healing the light bruises on his hips and thighs and clearing the fog from his whiskey soaked mind. Exhausted and feeling more lost and alone than he'd ever been in his life so far, he fell to his bedroll, exhausted. Clutching a blanket to his chin, his eyes drifted closed, an image of Fenris rising in his mind's eye as a tear rolled down his cheek. A broken whimper escaped him before sleep claimed him, his mind and body wrung out.


	27. Chapter 27

Fenris returned to Cullen an hour later. After choosing their practice weapons and laying aside their sword-belts, Fenris faced off against Cullen in near isolation. Most of the soldiers had gone off in search of food or drink. The newest recruits, unaccustomed to the work had either crawled or stumbled into their respective tents, exhausted from their first day of training.  
  
"So how do you wish to do this?" Fenris asked, swinging the wooden broadsword in his hands to get a feel for its weight.   
  
"Why don't we take turns attacking while the other blocks?" Cullen suggested.  
  
Fenris snorted. "You've seen how fast I am?"  
  
"Well... yes? Why?"  
  
"Never mind. I'll attack first if that's okay with you."  
  
"Alright." Cullen agreed. He raised his shield, tightening his grip on his sword and adjusted his stance lower to the ground, legs wide for balance. "Rest."  
  
"We'll see." Fenris murmured holding his sword out to the side and angling his body. "Rounds? Or whoever falls first?"  
  
"Let's try rounds to start. Best out of three."  
  
"Very well." Fenris nodded. He shifted slowly to Cullen's left, keeping his distance as he circled him. He took note of the warrior's stance, the determination in Cullen's eyes and how he tracked Fenris' movements while looking for an opening. Still holding his sword out to the side, he launched forward, knowing he would be faster. Cullen pivoted in place, moving to block his strike. The shield came up and Fenris smirked. Slashing his sword down, beneath the shield, he slapped his weapon against the former Templar's calf and danced out of reach of a retaliatory strike.  
  
"You're right." Cullen said, his face grim. "You are fast. Go again."  
  
"Same round?"  
  
"Let's just see if I can block you first. Forget about rounds for now."  
  
"As you wish." Fenris adjusted his stance, once more circling Cullen. This time when he approached, he fiented left, drawing Cullen's attention before feinting right, spinning on his heel and attacked on his left.  
  
As he'd expected, Cullen had anticipated his blow would come from the right, leaving his left side open. His sword caught the Commander high on his left arm, making him curse as Fenris stepped out of reach again.   
  
"Maker's breath." Cullen panted, winded from the change in tactic. "I'm beginning to think this was a mistake."  
  
"Your form isn't bad Commander, but you're treating me as though I'm a mage. Perfect form if you're fighting mages, but not much good against Templars and warriors." Fenris replied. "Let's stop and you try to hit me."  
  
"You're too fast for me Fenris." Cullen protested. "Even without my usual heavy armour, I don't think I could even get close to you."  
  
"So you forfeit then?" Fenris teased. "I beat you?"  
  
Cullen's face flushed, scowling at him. "What? No... I... very well. Stay within the circle and I'll try."  
  
"Very well." Fenris smiled. "Begin."  
  
Cullen changed his stance immediately, dropping his sword low and bending his knees. He advanced slowly forward while moving sideways. Fenris kept his stance loose, his sword held out to his right side, his body taut while he waited for Cullen to make his move.  
  
They circled each other, neither letting their attention stray.  The distance between them narrowed, Fenris holding himself low to the ground, balancing on the balls of his feet. All his senses were alert, waiting.   
  
Cullen smiled at him, drawing his attention away. Fenris smiled back and then Cullen struck, Fenris ducking and rolling away, past the Commander. He rose from his crouch tensing as Cullen advanced on him, looking bigger than he was as he drew closer. He struck again, his sword missing Fenris by inches as the the elf feinted left then went right, past Cullen by a foot, before turning and levelling his sword at the Commander's exposed neck.  
  
Cullen's blue eyes went wide, his sword half raised to strike when Fenris spoke, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Well done Commander. Do you yield?"  
  
Cullen let out a shaky laugh, dropping his sword arm. "Andraste's tears Fenris. Yes, I yield."  
  
"A wise choice." Fenris smiled, dropping his arm. "You did well."  
  
"It's kind of you to say." Cullen said, replacing the practice sword in the rack. "But I would need months of practice to beat you in a fight. Though I don't believe I want to try."  
  
"No?" Fenris asked, waiting while Cullen retrieved his cloak from where he'd draped it over a pole.   
  
"I think I'd much rather have you fighting at my side and helping to train the recruits."  
  
"May I have time to think about it?"  
  
"Certainly." Cullen nodded. "I don't know about you, but I'm in need of a bath. There's a natural hot spring not far from here if you'd care to join me? I had the recruits do some work on it so that it's easier and safer to access and had a few benches installed."  
  
"A hot spring?"  
  
Cullen chuckled. "Yes. It's water from far beneath the ground. Heated naturally and filled with minerals. It's really quite pleasant, but I would understand if you'd rather not."  
  
"It sounds interesting Commander." Fenris replied, the Cullen's earlier fluster taking on a new and interesting meaning. "Lead the way."  
  
"Alright." Cullen nodded, setting off briskly toward the blacksmith shop and passing by it.  
  
Fenris followed behind him, his thoughts in turmoil. If he was reading it right, Cullen was interested in more than just getting clean. He wasn't certain why he'd just agreed but he couldn't deny it had been a long time since he'd been intimate with anyone. The mage had stirred things he'd thought lost to him, but with Dorian gone and not likely to want him in return... He huffed under his breath. That was a line of thought best ignored.  
  
Cullen stopped in front of a rickety looking wooden door and pushed it open, revealing a set of stairs. He ducked inside, Fenris following him down rough hewn stairs leading down. They hadn't gone far when the air grew warm and humid and Cullen paused to light a torch fastened to the wall.  
  
"Well, here we are. It's not much, but it is quite refreshing after a long day of training recruits." He said, moving further into what was a small, high ceiling cave. In the centre was a wide black pool, it's surface dancing in the light from the torch. Cullen moved to a short wooden bench and dropped his cloak onto it before unbuckling his sword belt and laying it aside. "You can change here if you like, or there are two other benches surrounding the pool."  
  
"I wasn't expecting the air to be so warm." Fenris replied, removing his own sword belt. He stripped off his pauldrons and gauntlets next and slid out of his leathers just as quickly. He stepped to the pool side and slid beneath the water letting out a sigh of pleasant surprise at it's warmth.   
  
When he surfaced again, Cullen had paused in removing his breeches. His cheeks were flushed pink and he was doing his best to ignore the bulge beneath them from having watched Fenris enter the pool. Cullen turned his back and slid into the water backwards, in an attempt to hide his body's obvious interest.  
  
The sight of the Commander so aroused had Fenris growing hard instantly, a low growl in his throat. Cullen turned to face him, cheeks still pink and looking everywhere by his eyes. "My apologies... I..." He stammered.  
  
Fenris moved closer, his pupils dark with lust as he trained his eyes on Cullen's face. "You do not need to apologise Commander. I am flattered and understand how adrenaline affects a person."  
  
"It's just that I... that we... Maker's breath we barely know each other."  
  
Fenris smirked, moving closer. "I have no objections if you don't. It has been some time since I was in the company of an attractive man."  
  
Cullen met his eyes then, filled with longing and desire and hesitation. "I just... I don't want to give you the wrong impression Fenris."  
  
Fenris smiled and put a hand to Cullen's cheek. "Then allow me to simplify things. This is just for tonight. We shall take our pleasure from each other and it will go no further than that. You have an Inquisition to lead and I... I am on a complicated path."  
  
"Are... are you sure?"  
  
Fenris smiled, placing a soft kiss to his lips. He hummed in approval when Cullen moaned against him, parting his lips in invitation. He pressed their lips together more firmly, one hand to Cullen's neck to hold him in place as he straddled the Commander's thighs.   
  
Cullen's cock pressed into his backside, his own, hard and straining and trapped between their bodies. Cullen broke their kiss, his breath harsh as Fenris dipped his head to rain kisses along his neck.   
  
"Tell me what you want Cullen."  
  
"I... Maker...would you... I mean, I would like you inside me Fenris." He stammered, a flush staining his cheeks again. "From behind."  
  
Fenris growled, biting lightly at Cullen's collarbone and drawing a sigh of pleasure from him. "Turn around." Fenris grunted, slipping from his lap.  
  
Cullen scrambled to comply, turning away and resting his arms on the edge.   
  
"Do you have anything to make this easier?" Fenris sighed in his ear, laying his body over Cullen's backside, his cock sliding between the Commander's thighs. Cullen snorted an amused sound, unfurling his left fist to reveal a small vial. "Naughty Commander." Fenris growled, taking the vial from him.  
  
Cullen twitched beneath him, his finger coated in oil pressing against the Commander's entrance and slipping past the tight ring of muscle. Cullen groaned, his hips pushing back, trying to impale himself further. "So eager Commander. You want more?"  
  
"Please Fenris..." Cullen moaned, his hands clenching against the stone beneath him.  
  
Fenris snorted and added a second finger, stretching and preparing the twitching man beneath him.  
  
"Fenris... Maker... take me... please."  
  
The sounds Cullen was making were sending Fenris over the edge. Coating his throbbing cock in slick, he pressed against Cullen's entrance, the muscle twitching as Cullen tried again to press backwards. With a growl, Fenris put a hand to the Commander's hip and pressed down, holding him in place at the same time he thrust forward, sliding deeper into Cullen's heat until he was flush with his ass.  
  
Cullen moaned, Fenris clutching at the Commander's hip to keep him still. Venhedis, it had been far too long since he'd allowed himself such indulgence. The heat surrounding his cock was making it throb, tension pooling in his lower abdomen. He hissed through his teeth, willing himself to calm and then he began to thrust, sliding out slowly and back, deep inside Cullen's heat.  
  
"Please Fenris, harder... Maker, fuck me harder." He gasped, the need in his voice going straight to Fenris' groin. Abandoning all control, he took hold of Cullen's hips and began thrusting, slowly at first and then harder and harder until he was pounding into his body, sweat beading on his skin as Cullen moaned and cried beneath his assault.  
  
Cullen roused himself, pressing himself back to meet his thrusts and then they were both grunting with effort as the pressure in their groins built. Hips stuttering to a halt, Fenris collapsed forward, pinning Cullen beneath him. His hand found Cullen's cock and began stroking in time with his thrusts.   
  
Cullen cried out minutes later, his body clenching around Fenris' length as he came, Fenris following him over the edge, his orgasm filling Cullen's body with his fluid.  
  
He lay against Cullen's back for several minutes, heart pounding and feeling the Commander's heart thumping beneath him while their breathing returned to normal. A moment later, he slipped free of him, sliding back into the water and caressing the man's quivering thigh in question.  
  
"Are you all right?" He whispered, concern filling his voice.  
  
A bark of laughter echoed through the cave as Cullen pushed himself away from the pool's edge, slipping  into the water beside him. He turned to meet Fenris' stare, a smile on his lips. "I am much more than all right. I feel wonderful. Are you all right?"  
  
Fenris smiled. "I am fine."  
  
"Just fine?" Cullen teased.  
  
"Better than fine. It has been a long time."  
  
"For me too." Cullen admitted. "I have denied myself for too long. I was afraid I might never end my dry spell."  
  
"I am pleased as well." Fenris paused. "I hate to do this, but..."  
  
Cullen smiled again. "I know what you're going to say Fenris and you needn't worry. This was exactly what I wanted... I am... hoping to find someone once this business with the breach is dealt with."  
  
"That seems a wise plan Cullen."  
  
"Oh I don't know about that. But now I need to ask you something. Are you all right with this being a singular event?"  
  
"I am." Fenris nodded.  
  
"Then I hope I'm not being too forward, but..." Cullen paused. "If you have feelings for another, I don't think you should give up easily. It might be the worst mistake you ever make. I should know..." Cullen hesitated again, looking past Fenris as though seeing someone standing there. "There was a mage at the Circle in Ferelden, a young woman. I... believe I might have been in love with her. But my own fear and the rules against it..."  
  
"You never told her?"  
  
"Never said a word." Cullen sighed. "And after the Circle had fallen and the Grey Warden saved the mages... she wasn't among the dead. I have no idea where she is now or if she still lives. Looking back, it was the biggest mistake of my life."  
  
Fenris hummed under his breath. His heart rate had slowed and the Commander's words did not cause him to deny what he was saying. "May I ask why you felt the need to tell me this?"  
  
"You... have a look about you. Like you've found something you never imagined finding. It scares you and it would be so easy to walk away, and yet I can sense the conflict in you. Also, you were eager to accept my invitation. I may not have much experience with these things, but I know when a man is trying to rid himself of confusion."  
  
Fenris snorted and let out a loud sigh of release. "I am embarrassed you noticed, but you are not wrong. I do not know what I'm doing or if I should do anything at all."  
  
A bell clanged in the distance, startling them both as the sound echoed through the cave. "That would be the dinner bell for the inner circle." Cullen grimaced, moving to the pool's edge and heaving himself out of the water to dress.  
  
Fenris followed, glad for the interruption. He dried quickly, pulling his leathers and armour back on before strapping his sword in place.  
  
Cullen met his eyes then, a smile on his lips. "You don't need to worry Fenris. I doubt anyone could have picked up on what I did, without having experienced it themselves. As for the other thing, life doesn't come with a handy book of instructions. If you are comfortable with walking away from Dorian, then do so. But do so only from a place of conviction, or stay until you know it's the only choice you have."  
  
"That is... the best advice anyone has ever given me on a subject such as this." Fenris admitted, following Cullen out of the cave.  
  
"Thank you for saying so." Cullen chuckled. "It sounded much better in my head. As for what you should do...well... These things take time. I think the best advice I could give is to listen to your heart, not your fears. It will tell you when it is time to act and let you know if what you're doing is worth the effort. They say that anything worth doing is worth doing well. That being said, these things are not easy either."  
  
Fenris snorted. "So you're saying I'm signing up for a lot of learning and a lot of frustration if I pursue this."  
  
Cullen laughed and clapped him on the shoulder as they approached the Chantry building. "I think you signed up for that long before you ever reached Haven my friend."  
  
"True enough." Fenris agreed, coming to a halt. "Thank you again Cullen. I have not done anything like that for some time."  
  
"The feeling and the sentiment is mutual Fenris. I wish you luck with your heart's desire, I think you might need it. Come, let's go eat and you can catch up with Varric. It's been a long day."  
  
"It has. Lead the way Commander


	28. Chapter 28

The following day, Dorian had both his expression and his thoughts schooled into one of carefree indifference. The Herald shared little more than a few sparse words of greeting and a smile with him before they set out on the road back to Haven.   
  
More of the rebel mages had joined them during the night, making their trek through the Hinterlands more noticeable to the locals they passed on the road. Some were in so much awe of the force passing by that Lieutenant Rylen was overwhelmed with sorting out those who approached them wanting to join their ranks.   
  
Dorian hung back, travelling behind the Herald and the other members of his inner circle. Though he'd managed to rein himself in during the night, he didn't yet trust himself to carry on a polite conversation with anyone, casual or otherwise.   
  
They reached Haven just after the sun had set, the addition of the mages and recruits making the small village a bustle of chaotic activity. By the time he managed to hand off his horse to the stable boy and make his way to his cabin, it was well past dark and he was exhausted.    
  
He'd seen no sign of Fenris, his emotions so conflicted over it that it filled him with equal amounts of relief and despair. It hurt that the warrior hadn't welcomed him back, while his cynical side, which had expected nothing less, sneered at him. He stripped out of his travel dusty clothes and changed into loose fitting breeches and a tunic, slipping into his bed with a pained sigh.   
  
_ Of course he didn't come see you Dorian, _ the voice sounding like his father.  _ You're a pathetic imitation of a man. Running away from home, allowing a man to use you, too weak to defend yourself from a handful of Qunari. Letting yourself be used like a common whore while pining after a fugitive elven slave. You're pathetic Dorian, no son of mine and I'm glad to be rid of you. A pity you value carnal pleasure over duty, but I thank you for running, at least I won't have to suffer the scandal of your current state. Perhaps you should consider selling yourself. At least that way you'd be putting some of your talents to practical use, it's not like anyone could ever love someone like you. _   
  
"Shut up!" Dorian sword aloud, startling himself in the dark of the cabin. "Just shut up father." He said again in a whisper, clutching his blanket to his chin. "Leave me alone."   
  
Dorian huffed under his breath, eyes squeezed closed as the emotional turmoil he'd experienced over the past week caught up with him. He forced his thoughts in another direction, a part of him grateful he hadn't seen Fenris upon his return. The warrior was just too damned observant for his liking and in his current state, he knew he would not be able to hide his distress from the man. The last thing he needed was to break down completely after asserting that he could take care of himself. Though the sneering voice in his head would delight in laughing at him as further proof of his weakness, he was afraid he wouldn't recover from it.   
  
The shadows outside grew longer while he wore himself out with his worries and he was soon drifting in a dreamless sleep, dried tears staining his cheek.   
  
\----xxx----   
  
Fenris stretched on his cot, waking as the first rays of dawn crested the horizon. The village was still quiet despite the bustle of activity the previous night with the arrival of the rebel mages.   
  
With so many new bodies in the area, Cullen had tasked him with finding an appropriate location for where to place the mages, his own hands busy sorting out the new recruits. Though he'd frowned at the Commander, he'd followed Cullen's order willingly enough, glad to have something to do.   
  
At first he'd kept himself apart from the mages, preferring to use one of Leliana's agents as a go-between. But word travelled swiftly through the camp and soon there were mage's coming directly to him to have a word. Tense and suspicious, he'd glared at each of them coldly, most flinching away from his stare, though the former First Enchanter wasn't one of them.   
  
Fiona also wasn't phased by his coldness, flashing him a small smile as she approached. He knew who she was from Cullen, who though he'd grudgingly conceded the necessity of having mages to help seal the breach, he saw Fiona as being responsible for the chaos that had resulted from her vote.   
  
For himself, he saw her as weak and unreliable. He didn't trust her, for she'd sold out her own people from a place of weakness to a Magister. Sealing their fate as surely as her magic had sealed her own at birth.   
  
"I heard that Commander Cullen has put you in charge of the mages." She said, her accent reminding him of Tevinter and Orlesian nobility in equal measure. It did not endear her to him.   
  
"He has."   
  
She smiled again, noting the lack of change in his demeanour and sighed. "I am not your enemy Fenris."   
  
"That remains to be seen."   
  
"You don't like me. I can understand that. But why would the Commander of the Inquisition entrust this task to you? You have no love for mages."   
  
"Because I understand the dangers of magic better than anyone here, including yourself. I know when a mage has corrupted themselves and I know the signs of those who require watching."   
  
"You favour keeping us caged. We are allies here, not prisoners." She retorted, her brow pulling down in a frown.   
  
"Allies who have yet to prove their loyalty and earn the Inquisition's trust. Your freedom and your ability to govern your own kind has yet to be proven. Aside from the few who took shelter in Redcliff, you are failing in both."   
  
"We only wish to have the same rights as any other citizen of Thedas." She countered.   
  
"If you've come to argue about how opressed you are, save it. You failed to protect your own people and at the first sign of failure, you sold them into slavery to Tevinter. The only place in Thedas where elves are still not free." Fenris growled. "I do not respect your reasons or trust your words. You are a traitor three times over. Against elves, mages and Ferelden. Do not speak to me again, you will not change my opinion of you."   
  
"Very well." She sniffed. "I cannot argue against such a harsh assessment of character. But I will not stand idly by if I find out you are allowing your prejudices to interfere with your duty."   
  
Fenris activated his lyrium, his entire body lighting with blue fire, his eyes cold steel. "I suggest you walk away. Now. And do not threaten me again mage."   
  
Fiona paled, backing away from his stare with a stifled gasp. Nodding, she turned and walked away, her spine stiff, carrying herself with as much dignity her fear would allow. He watched her until she slipped behind a tent in the mage's camp, only then letting his brands blink out.   
  
He was still staring at the spot where she'd disappeared when he heard the approach of boots crunching in the snow. He looked up to see Cullen coming towards him, a concerned look in his eyes as he stopped beside him.   
  
"Commander." He nodded, his voice still gruff with anger.   
  
"Fenris." Cullen nodded on return. "I saw Fiona march away from here as though she was being pursued by demons. Are you all right?"   
  
Fenris snorted, a faint smile on his lips. "It would take more than a few haughty words by a mage to get under my skin. She fled because I activated my markings."   
  
Cullen's brow rose into his hairline. "I see. What did she say that provoked that response?"   
  
"The same drivel that Anders was always spouting in Kirkwall. I told her what I thought of her and to stay away from me. She didn't appreciate my assessment of her character."   
  
Cullen chuckled. "Better you than me. I've never had much patience dealing with mage problems with any sort of diplomacy."   
  
"I've never had any until recently." Fenris reminded him.   
  
"If you'd rather someone else deal with the mages, just let me know. I'm sure I won't have a problem finding someone to replace you."   
  
"Do not trouble yourself." Fenris replied. "It is not a task I ever saw myself performing, but it will help to allay my fears regarding free mages in Ferelden if I'm aware of potential problems beforehand. They have a promise to fulfil and I intend to ensure they fulfil it. After that, you may ask me again if I want to be replaced."   
  
"Very well. I can't argue with your assessment even if I wanted to."   
  
"Was there something else Cullen? You seem... distracted."   
  
Cullen blushed, looking out across the clearing to the frozen lake, flexing his left hand against the pommel of his sword. "I know we only spoke briefly and in confidence, but the Inquisitor's party returned a few days ago. I... was wondering if you'd made a decision regarding what we discussed."   
  
Fenris raised a brow in question. "You mean about Dorian?"   
  
"Yes... I know it's none of my business and you can tell me to drop it but... I think it's important you talk to him. I don't want to watch you make the same mistakes I did."   
  
Fenris smiled. "I appreciate your concern Cullen, but I thought it better to wait until after the breach has been dealt with."   
  
"That's probably wise." Cullen nodded. "Very well. If you're finished with the mages here, perhaps you would like to accompany me to dinner? As a friend of course. The bells should be ringing any minute now."    
  
Fenris smiled. "You do not need to clarify every time Cullen. Besides, I think your attentions should be directed elsewhere."   
  
"Elsewhere? What are you talking about?" Cullen stammered, suddenly tense.   
  
Fenris chuckled and started walking towards the Chantry, pausing for Cullen to follow. "No one has said anything directly Commander, but I have eyes."   
  
Cullen frowned, clearly lost. "I'm not following."   
  
"Seeker Cassandra. She likes you."   
  
"What?!" Cullen exclaimed. "That's preposterous! We train together, that's all. And she's the former right hand of the Divine."   
  
"I'm not seeing your point." Fenris replied, pausing outside the Chantry doors.   
  
"It's just... no, I... I don't see it."   
  
"So the rumour I heard about her helping you quit taking lyrium isn't true?"   
  
"Well no, that's true but..."   
  
"Does that not also mean she trusts you to keep your word and believes you strong enough to handle the withdrawal?"   
  
"Well, yes I suppose, but what does that have to do with..?"   
  
Fenris sighed, giving him a withering look. "Tell me this then. How many people does Cassandra trust? I think you'll find the list is rather small. Do that, then look at the situation again. You might see something you didn't before."   
  
Cullen gaped at him, then scowled as he held open the Chantry door letting Fenris precede him inside. "I don't have time for such nonsense Fenris. I'd prefer if we didn't speak of this again."   
  
"Suit yourself." Fenris shrugged. "But keep in mind, I'm not the one who's been talking about it."

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

Dorian spent the next several days avoiding everyone. With all the confusion and additional problems to solve with the arrival of the mages, it wasn't hard for him to go unnoticed. Aside from the Herald and his advisors, no one really knew who he was since he'd only been there a day before returning to Redcliff.   
  
He befriended the tavern owner, slipping her a handful of silver in exchange for several bottles of wine. The voice in his head laughed at him for his cowardice, but he ignored it and drank alone in the cabin. As far as he knew, his roommate Adan hadn't noticed his new habit, or more likely didn't care. He was the evil Vint after all, since despite avoiding people, those rumours still reached his ears.   
  
As for Fenris and the Herald, neither had sought him out. This too filled him with both relief and despair. He really did not want to see the Herald again, despite enjoying being admired. But he knew encouraging the man would only make him feel worthless since he was afraid that in his current state of mind, he would decide that bad attention was better than none at all.    
  
Fenris was another matter entirely. The last thing he wanted was a scene and Fenris was sure to know instantly what was wrong with him just by looking at him. So he hid in his room, drinking wine to stop from thinking about it, biding his time until the Inquisition was ready to attempt closing the breach. After that, he would seriously consider leaving. He might not have options on where to go, but it was better than pretending interest in the Herald while simultaneously pretending indifference with Fenris.   
  
Tears formed in his eyes at how much of a mess everything was. If the Inquisition was successful closing the breach, he couldn't think of any reason to stay. He couldn't pretend to like the Herald indefinitely, nor could he avoid Fenris for much longer. Going home no longer felt like the worst option considering all the bad things that had happened to him since he'd left his homeland.   
  
With a pained sigh, he fell into bed having drained the last bottle of wine he'd gotten from the tavern. If the Inquisition didn't close the breach soon, he'd be out of coin and then... well, he didn't know what he'd do.   
  
\----xxx----   
  
It was late in the afternoon and Fenris was busy helping Cassandra run drills with the new recruits. The volunteers the Inquisition had acquired were doing well, considering many had never wielded anything more dangerous than a shovel before handling a sword.   
  
He and Cassandra were just finishing up when Cullen came to stand beside him, just outside the training ring to watch. Cassandra flashed him a quick smile before turning to bark at the last recruit in the ring who still wasn't remembering to keep his shield up.   
  
"That's enough recruit Chabot. We will try again tomorrow." She barked, her arms crossed over her chest in disappointment. "I expect you to practice what I've shown you with a partner for an hour before you join the others for dinner."   
  
"Yes Seeker. I'm sorry Seeker, I'll do better next time I promise." Chabot replied neekly.   
  
"We'll see." She said drily, moving to join Fenris and Cullen outside the ring. "Commander Cullen. I wasn't expecting to see you out here today."   
  
"I just came by to let you know the Herald will be ready to attempt closing the breach in an hour. You should prepare yourselves"   
  
"We'll be ready Cullen, but you'll have to excuse me. I need to speak to the Herald about the recruits." She said, heading towards the Chantry. "Thank you for your assistance today Fenris. Your advice was very useful."   
  
"It was my pleasure Seeker."   
  
Fenris glanced at Cullen who was fidgeting where he stood, watching Cassandra walk away. "Something on your mind Cullen?"   
  
"Have you spoken to Dorian yet?"   
  
Fenris frowned. "Not yet. I told you I was waiting until after the breach has been dealt with. Why? Is something wrong?"   
  
"I'm not sure. There might be." Cullen hesitated. "Normally I don't pay much attention to rumours but... no one has seen him much since he got back from Redcliff. And Adan approached me an hour ago. He said the cabin they're sharing smells like a brewery and he thinks Dorian hasn't left the cabin in days, asked me to check on him. I haven't done that yet since I thought he might feel more comfortable talking to you."   
  
Fenris had grown more tense the more Cullen talked. Dorian drinking? Venhedis! Stupid, stubborn mage, what was he thinking? "Fasta vass. I... am not sure that's true now, but I will speak to him."   
  
"Commander Cullen?" A recruit stood nearby, shifting nervously. "Sorry to interrupt Commander, but the Herald needs you. He wants to head out to the breach now."   
  
"Now? I thought we had an hour?"   
  
"Sorry sir." The recruit shrugged. "That's the message I was asked to deliver."   
  
"Fine. Tell the Herald I'm on my way." Cullen barked, sharing a look with Fenris. "Talk about awful timing. Will you join me after you've spoken to Dorian? I could use your help organizing the troops."   
  
"I will find you after." Fenris grunted as they headed inside Haven's courtyard.    
  
"Good luck Fenris."   
  
"Thank you. I think I'll need it."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
Dorian was downing a regeneration potion when he heard the call go up that the Herald was ready to assault the breach. He'd run out of wine the night before and was in no condition to acquire more.    
  
He squeezed his eyes shut at the thought of having to speak to people. What with drinking and isolating himself and being largely ignored by everyone here, making small talk would be as painful as drinking acid. It was clear that no one had noticed his absence, since no one had made any effort to seek him out.    
  
With an angry grunt, he pulled on his armour, snatched his staff from the wall and secured it to the holder on his back. Just before he stepped out the door he grabbed his pouch of potions, tying it in place on his belt as he headed to the Chantry where the Inquisition forces were preparing to head out.   
  
\----xxx----   
  
Fenris hurried through the village to Dorian's cabin, cursing himself for letting his attention and concern drift. It didn't matter what Dorian had said that ended up hurting his feelings, he'd made a promise to see him safe and so far he was failing badly at it. He knew better than most that not all danger came from others; sometimes the worst danger was from yourself.    
  
He knocked once at the door, not waiting for a response before letting himself in to find it empty. Kaffas, he must have gone to join the rest of them. He headed back out, but not before he'd noticed the empty bottles of wine on the floor, partially hidden by a pair of worn mage boots. His heart sank on seeing it. Proof that Dorian was sinking and he'd not been there to catch him.   
  
By the time he reached the Chantry, there was a mass of people heading out of the village to the centre of the crater left behind by the Conclave explosion. There was no way through the mass of people, nor could he see Dorian anywhere in the crowd.    
  
Snarling his frustration, he hurried past them to help coordinate with Cullen. Half an hour later, the mages were assisting the Herald in closing the breach, while he and the other warriors fought to keep them safe from the demons pouring from it.    
  
A cheer went up when the final demon fell and the hole in the sky closed with a resounding boom. Relief flooded through those gathered as they all began the trek back to Haven and a much needed celebration. He caught sight of Dorian, far ahead following behind the Herald but seemingly not sharing everyone else's relief.    
  
Fenris frowned at that. The mage seemed hesitant to get too close to the Herald and his posture was that of someone trying hard not to be noticed.   
  
Kaffas. He had to talk to Dorian now, but there was no way to reach him. It was beyond frustrating having to reign in his rising panic at what he believed he was seeing. Something had happened. Something bad.   
  
Back in Haven, the townspeople had prepared a feast and there was music and dancing in the courtyard. Many had already begun to celebrate before they returned and it was with great effort that he didn't bite anyone's head off in his urgency to track Dorian down.   
  
When he found him, the mage was sharing a drink with the young blonde elf he'd seen racing around the village. He hadn't spoken to her yet, but his initial impression was that she would likely prove difficult to talk to. As he approached, Dorian looked up and as their eyes met a flash of fear lit his eyes. The mage spoke quickly, backing away from the elf with a look of panic on his face before hurrying away and disappearing through a small crowd.   
  
Venhedis! This was ridiculous. He broke into a light jog, catching up to Dorian before he could slip inside  his cabin. "Dorian, stop." He growled, the mage coming to an abrupt halt but not turning around.    
  
"What do you want Fenris?"   
  
Fenris frowned, coming around to face him. His breath hitching in his chest at the haunted look in Dorian's eyes. "You're avoiding me. Why did you run?"   
  
"I'm avoiding you?" Dorian sneered. "Oh that's rich coming from you. I've been back from Redcliff for four days with no one to talk to and nothing to do. You on the other hand have been busy helping Commander Cullen. You certainly wasted no time making friends, possibly more than that if the rumour is true. Like I said, what do you want Fenris? You've made it perfectly clear I'm no longer your concern."   
  
Fenris froze. "That's not true. I thought you wanted space. You told me you could take care of yourself and I thought we could use some time apart. But there's been talk you haven't come out of your cabin since you got back. I was... I am, concerned."   
  
"Yes well, as you can see I'm fine. You can go back to giving me space. I'm sure you'll find better company elsewhere." Dorian retorted, resuming his walk back to his cabin.   
  
Fenris scowled, putting a hand to Dorian's arm to stop him walking away. He reacted violently, throwing his hand off with a bitten off curse, panic in his eyes. "Don't touch ne!" He snarled, backing away from him.   
  
"Venhedis! What's wrong?"   
  
"Nothing's wrong. Leave it Fenris."   
  
Fenris narrowed his eyes, searching Dorian's face. The mage glared back at him, a storm of emotion crossing his features and a horrible thought occurred to him. "Vishante kaffas Dorian! What happened? Talk to me! I said I would protect you but I can't do that if you won't let me."   
  
A bell began tolling, startling them out of their heated exchange. "Herald! We need you at the gate!"   
  
"Better go Fenris." Dorian sneered. "Cullen needs his warrior at the gate."   
  
"Commander Cullen can handle it. I want to know what happened in Redcliff." Fenris snapped back. Fasta vaas, did Dorian know? Was that was this was about?   
  
"Nothing you need concern yourself with."   
  
"Herald! We need you now!"   
  
This time Fenris didn't miss it when Dorian flinched at the mention of the Herald and he felt his heart sink with outrage and horror. "The Herald? Dorian, did something happen with the Herald?"   
  
"I told you to leave it." Dorian snarled, heading for the village gates. "It's not your concern."    
  
Fenris trailed after him, his mind racing. Curses and recriminations coursed through him as he slashed his way through the Red Templar army that was overwhelming the Inquisition forces. He took out his guilt, his rage and his frustration on every enemy he hacked his way through. At least until the dragon appeared overhead, forcing everyone to retreat.    
  
Back in the Chantry, an escape was planned while the Herald used himself as bait to keep the dragon occupied. Dorian was nowhere to be seen, but he overheard a sister say that the Vint mage had been injured and Cullen had sent him ahead with the other survivors.   
  
Good. Fenris growled under his breath. He wanted a word with the Herald before the man sacrificed himself. He wasn't about to let him become a martyr before he had a chance to tell him exactly what he thought of him.


	30. Chapter 30

When the dragon filled the area by the trebuchet with a wall of fire, the Herald screamed for his companions to run. Fenris hesitated, not wanting to abandon the man to martyrdom, and his hesitation cost him. The ground where he stood shook when the dragon landed and a shaft opened up beneath his feet, sending him plunging into darkness. He landed hard, cracking his head on a piece of ice and blacked out.   
  
He woke to the feel of someone shaking his shoulder and muttering something he couldn't make out. When he returned to consciousness  he was staring into the pale blue eyes of the Herald himself, bracing an arm around his midsection as though he was in pain. He struggled to his feet, fighting back the wave of dizziness that hit him as he did.   
  
"Well that answers that question." The Herald sighed. "I was worried you might be seriously injured. Considering the fact I am too and that there's no one around to help, I was afraid I'd have to leave you here."   
  
"What happened?" Fenris grunted, collecting his thoughts.   
  
"We appear to have fallen into an old mining tunnel. I set off an avalanche to escape Corypheus after I saw Cullen's signal fire go up."   
  
"The others escaped then?"   
  
"I believe so." The Herald nodded. "We haven't spoken much since you arrived. I'm Alex Trevelyan, originally from the Free Marches."   
  
"I assume you know who I am."   
  
Alex nodded, turning towards a tunnel. "Cullen speaks highly of you."   
  
Fenris grunted. His anger had cooled some and he couldn't think of a way to bring up Dorian as they started walking. They reached the end of the tunnel and the Herald's hand snapped up, forming a small rift above a group of demons blocking the way forward.   
  
Fenris drew his sword as Alex cried out in shock and pain, but he needn't have bothered. The rift snapped closed as the last of the demons were sucked back into the veil, Alex holding his arm in surprise.    
  
"Well that was unpleasant." He murmured, catching Fenris glaring at him. He frowned, dropping his arm and meeting his stare. "I get the distinct impression you have something to say to me."   
  
"What did you do to Dorian?" Fenris hissed, taking a step toward him.   
  
"What?!" Alex exclaimed. "I didn't do anything to him."   
  
"Did you touch him?" Fenris demanded suddenly, grabbing him by his coat to stare into his eyes.   
  
"I don't see how that's any of your concern."   
  
Fenris snarled, releasing his grip on the Herald's coat, his fist connecting with the man's jaw and snapping Trevelyan's head to the side. He stumbled, eyes wide with shock, his hand covering the spot of impact.   
  
"Bloody crazy elf! What the..?"   
  
Fenris lunged, grabbing the Herald by his coat again before slamming his back into the tunnel wall making his teeth clack. "You incompetent fool! You insensitive, selfish piece of trash! Do you have any idea the harm you've done? I should kill you for this. If not for that mark on your hand you'd be dead now. But I'm going to make sure you live, because you're going to apologize and do everything in your power to make it right." Fenris hissed, letting him go so suddenly that Alex stumbled.    
  
"I don't know who you think you are but nothing happened that he didn't..."   
  
"Was he drunk?" Fenris snapped, cutting him off.   
  
"He had one or two, but he didn't..."   
  
"He was assaulted in the Free Marches. Did you even bother asking if he was interested when he was sober? Did he give any sign he was interested when you met him?"   
  
"Well no... but... He what?" Alex swore under his breath. "Shit. Maker's breath, I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't know."   
  
"Save your excuses." Fenris snarled. "It's time we got out of here. The storm outside isn't going to let up any time soon."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
Dorian woke to the smell of animals and a cold breeze ruffling his hair. He groaned and sat up, having no memory of where he was or how he'd got here. He didn't feel injured, so he got to his feet in search of answers.   
  
He found Cullen almost immediately. Though the rumour of Fenris getting close to the man made his anger rise, he knew he had no right to feel that way.   
  
Cullen smiled when he saw him, though Dorian didn't miss the flash of concern in his eyes. "Dorian. Good to see you awake. I imagine you have some questions for me."   
  
"Very astute. First of all, can you tell me where I am and how I got here?"   
  
"Unfortunately we're not sure where we are. You were brought here in a stretcher. You took a nasty blow to the head and were unconscious the entire trip out of the valley."   
  
"Oh. Well I suppose I owe you my thanks then. What happened with Corypheus and his Dragon?"   
  
Cullen's jaw hardened as he stared off into the distance. "The Herald stayed behind and set off another avalanche that buried the entire village. Corypheus and his army fled the area after that. We don't know where he is now."   
  
Dorian blinked in surprise. "Are you saying the Herald is dead?"   
  
"We don't know for certain, but I don't see how anyone could have survived that."   
  
"That's... terrible. I'm sorry."   
  
"We can't lose hope Dorian. But thank you."   
  
Dorian nodded and started moving away when Cullen spoke again. "Dorian. There's something else you need to know."   
  
"What is it?"   
  
"Fenris is missing as well." Cullen said softly, Dorian stiffening at his words.   
  
"What do you mean he's missing?"   
  
"He accompanied the Herald to draw Corypheus' attention. The others who went with him made it out, but I...  I can only assume he didn't make it."   
  
"I see. Thank you for telling me. If you'll excuse me, I think I need to be alone for a while."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
Fenris cursed at the wind whipping snow into his face and eyes making it hard to see more than a few feet in front of him. The Herald had lapsed into a contemplative silence after leaving the cave, clearly shaken by Fenris' outburst.   
  
Without a word, Alex had taken the lead, deliberately using his wider gait and larger boots to cut a path through the snow, leaving Fenris to follow. The elf grudgingly acknowledged the gesture but as far as he was concerned it did not endear the man to him.    
  
He couldn't believe the Herald had forced himself on the mage. How drunk had Dorian been? How utterly insensitive and blind was he? He was disgusted that such a man had been handed so much power. If he was that blind in dealing with those he found attractive, how effective could he possibly be in defeating an ancient Magister?   
  
Trevelyan stopped a few feet ahead of him, turning to wait for Fenris to catch up.    
  
"Why are we stopping?"   
  
"I can see a light in the distance and wanted to know if you can see it too, make sure we're on the right path."   
  
Fenris squinted into the wind, shielding his eyes with his hand as he looked in the direction Trevelyan was pointing. "I see it. You think it's the Inquisition?"   
  
"I don't know who else it could be way out here."   
  
"Lead the way then." Fenris grunted.   
  
"One minute Fenris." Alex paused with a sigh. "Look, I know you probably hate me and think I'm worse than scum. But I am truly sorry about what happened with Dorian. I have no excuse. I was drinking and not thinking straight. But I promise I will do what I can to make it right. You have my word."   
  
"Just don't go making it worse if Dorian isn't interested in an apology. He doesn't need your guilt on top of everything else."   
  
Trevelyan nodded. "I won't. I promise."   
  
"Good. Can we get moving now before we become part of the scenery?"   
  
"Yes, of course." Trevelyan nodded, heading out again. "I just wanted you to know that before we reach the others."   
  
Fenris grunted but said nothing, ducking his head against the wind as Alex pushed on through the snow. 


	31. Chapter 31

He was numb as he walked away from Cullen. He couldn't believe it. Fenris couldn't be gone, he just couldn't. Not after the way he'd spoken to him, not after....    
  
He stopped dead the moment he realized why Fenris had stayed with Alex. It was because of him, because of what he'd realized had happened between Dorian and the Herald before the Templar army had attacked. He'd gone to confront Alex and in his stubbornness had... no. No, he refused to believe Fenris was gone.   
  
Lost in thought he hadn't noticed how far from the main camp he'd gone when he saw a strange green glow seemingly floating above the snow. Curious, he drew closer to find it was a magic torch of... veilfire?   
  
What in blazes was that doing here? He wondered, passing his hand through the flame in a brief moment of melancholy. Who had put it here? A voice broke the silence then, making his spine stiffen. Of course, he thought with irritation, he should've guessed.   
  
"Lord Pavus. Odd to see you away from camp. Are you lost?"   
  
"Not lost Solas. Just thinking."   
  
"About what I wonder? Perhaps about what you'll do now that your precious slave is gone? Or maybe how you might be able to use your magic to bring him back from the dead? It must be devastating to have lost such a valuable possession. I suppose you'll leave now since you no longer have him at your beck and call."   
  
Dorian's anger had grown the more Solas taunted him, his magic pooling in his hands with every sneering word spoken. "Normally I would reason with someone like you but I don't see the point. You are an arrogant bastard who thinks he knows everything. I will say this, Fenris is a free man and I have never owned a slave, nor will I."   
  
"You delude yourself Pavus. And you are nothing but a spoiled Tevinter noble whose family built their fortune on the blood of slaves. You are as guilty as the man who gave Fenris his markings. It disgusts me that he travelled at your side and didn't kill you. He may not be your slave, but he's as weak in character as you are."   
  
Dorian's vision went white the moment Solas spoke ill of Fenris. He turned with a snarl, hitting the elf square in the chest with a bolt of electricity so strong it lifted him up and threw him ten feet backwards through the snow.    
  
Solas was on his feet in an instant, slamming force magic into him and knocking him flat despite the barrier he threw up to defend himself. He cast winter's grasp a second before Solas tried to immolate him. He heard voices shouting in the distance but Solas sent a static cage at him and he cast haste and moved out of range of the spell moments before it could trap him.    
  
He threw up another barrier as Solas sent out another blast of force magic but nothing happened. A wave of cold energy washed over him a second later, sudden, intense and very unpleasant. Next thing he knew his knees had given out and he was falling toward the snow-covered ground and everything went black.   
  
\----xxx----   
  
Nearly two hours after they'd seen the light burning in the distance, the wind and snow had finally stopped as they trudged up a steep incline towards what looked like a mountain pass. They were both exhausted from the walk and exposure to the cold when they saw the remains of a small campfire.   
  
Alex put his hand to the fire and gave Fevris a tentative smile as he straightened. "It's still warm, they can't be much further ahead."   
  
"Good." Fenris replied. "We're both about to die from exposure. Let's move."   
  
Half an hour later they'd crested the top of the hill and had started down the other side when they both collapsed to their knees, unable to keep going. Fenris could hear voices ahead but he'd lost feeling in his legs, his calves and thighs spasming in protest as he tried to get back to his feet and failed.   
  
"So close." The Herald murmured, his head drooping.   
  
"Some hero you are." Fenris snorted as he fell unconscious.   
  
"I see something!" They heard a man shout. "They're here, hurry! Oh, thank the Maker..."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
He woke to the distant sound of voices raised in disagreement, coming back to himself slowly with no recollection of where he was or how he got there. Tensing, he groped blindly for his sword, but it wasn't there and his eyes snapped open in alarm.   
  
There was what appeared to be a white sheet above him and he was lying on something soft and warm, with a blanket covering him. He shifted position with a soft grunt of pain, the sound of boots crunching through snow reaching him as he tried to sit up.   
  
A shadow fell over him and he looked up to see Cullen staring at him, a look of relief on his face. "Oh good, you're awake."    
  
"Cullen?"   
  
"I imagine you're still a little out if it. Good news is, you and the Herald made it out of Haven with few injuries. We found you just outside the camp and brought you back here to recover. You were suffering from exposure and exhaustion. The healers did what they could, but none of the mages were willing to use magic on you what with the lyrium in your skin."   
  
"So most of the people made it out then?"   
  
"There were casualties of course, but due to the Herald and your efforts many more survived."   
  
"So where are we? Where's Corypheus?"   
  
"We're not sure where we are. Corypheus and his army fled the battlefield. We've seen no signs of pursuit, but that's probably because they assume none of us made it out of Haven."   
  
Fenris frowned up at him. "Is there something else? You seem... distracted."   
  
"There is. If you're feeling well enough, I need to talk to you somewhere more private." Cullen grimaced, handing him a pair of boots. "These are for you. Mother Giselle won't let you step a foot outside of this tent without them."   
  
Fenris scowled at the object Cullen handed him. "I don't wear boots."   
  
"I'm afraid the healers and Mother Giselle are in agreement on this. They tell me you came very close to losing all your toes and they insisted I make sure you wear them."   
  
"Lucky you." Fenris grunted. "Just don't expect me to keep them on."   
  
"I was told they were designed for the Dalish with their preference for going barefoot. You shouldn't even notice them at all."   
  
Fenris grunted and pulled the boots on, the soft leather molding to his foot and encasing them in a subtle warmth. Standing up, he was surprised they didn't immediately unbalance him and nodded to Cullen  that he was ready.   
  
Hiding a small smile, the Commander led him outside, heading to an area just beyond the camp where he stopped behind a small tent. "There was an incident just before we found you. We're not sure how it started or why, but Solas and Dorian attacked each other."   
  
"What?" Fenris exclaimed.    
  
Cullen frowned. "I tried to get them to stop, but I don't think either of them heard me. I was certain Solas was going to kill Dorian so... well, they forced me to use Holy Smite on them both. Unfortunately, it seems I might have overdone it. Dorian is still unconscious."   
  
"Where is he?" Fenris growled. "Take me to him. Now."   
  
"Of course, he's just inside the tent here." Cullen nodded, motioning to the tent they stood behind.   
  
Fenris hurried around to the front of the tent, ducking inside before Cullen could follow. Dorian was lying on a small cot with several blankets pulled up to his chin. A small lantern flickered nearby, filling the space with shadows.   
  
He turned to scowl at Cullen as the Commander joined him. "What's been done for him? He looks far too pale."   
  
"I had a healer mage tend him, but she wasn't very skilled at her craft. As far as she could tell, his mana has been depleted. He needs lyrium and healing potions but we can't administer anything until he wakes up."   
  
"I've never heard Holy Smite could do this." Fenris argued. "He looks near death."   
  
"I know. All I can think is that he hadn't been taking care of himself. That perhaps lack of nutrition and maybe lack of sleep made him too weak to withstand my ability. I honestly didn't expect it to work at all. It's been weeks since I took lyrium."   
  
"I can help him, but I would like some privacy." Fenris grunted. "Can you send for a small supply of water, broth and something to clean with? A bowl and cloth should be sufficient."   
  
"Of course... I'll take care of it personally. And for what it's worth, I am sorry about this."   
  
Fenris nodded, turning back to Dorian. "It's not your fault Cullen."   
  
"I'll return momentarily. I'll bring several potions with me as well."   
  
Fenris moved to Dorian's side, kneeling beside the cot to get a closer look. The sound of his breathing was too shallow and his chest constricted at how pale Dorian's skin was. Cullen returned, placing the items he'd requested nearby and left without saying a word.   
  
Fenris had never seen a Holy Smite do what Cullen's had done to Dorian. That he wasn't recovering made it more concerning and he wondered if Dorian had eaten anything since Redcliff. By the look of him it seemed unlikely.    
  
Tugging the blankets down, he bared Dorian's chest, sucking in a breath at the chill coming from his skin despite the blankets covering him. Steeling himself, he laid his palms flat on Dorian's chest and activated his markings, sending lyrium flowing into the still body beneath him.   
  
He could feel Dorian's skin warming beneath his hands and after another minute he cut off the flow of lyrium and waited. Shifting back on his heels, he rested his hands on the edge of the cot, brow knit with worry.   
  
Dorian groaned, shifting under the blankets, his eyes slowly opening to stare at him. Another minute passed before the light of recognition reflected in them and he blinked several times as though not believing what he was seeing.   
  
"Fenris?" He whispered, his voice cracked and dry. "Where am I? Are you dead? Am I dead? Is this the Fade?"   
  
Fenris smiled and held a cup of water out to him. "No. Drink this."   
  
Dorian frowned, struggling to sit up and took the offered water, his eyes never leaving Fenris' face. He drank, handing the cup back as his strength left him and collapsed back onto the pillow.    
  
"I don't understand." He murmured, his eyes fixed on the canopy overhead. "What happened? Cullen said you were caught in an avalanche."   
  
"I fell into an old mining tunnel beneath the village, along with the Herald."   
  
Dorian frowned at the mention of the Herald, but said nothing. "And what am I doing in bed? Why do I feel so awful?"   
  
"I'm told you attacked Solas and that Cullen was forced to stop you from killing each other. He used Holy Smite on you."   
  
"That's what rendered me unconscious? A southern Templar?"    
  
"Cullen said he's never seen a mage be so badly affected before. He suspects you might not have been at full strength when it hit you."   
  
"Well of course I wasn't." Dorian snapped. "Solas was trying to kill me after all."   
  
Fenris sighed, settling himself on the edge of the cot to look into Dorian's eyes. "That's not what he meant Dorian. I think you know that."   
  
Dorian refused to meet his eyes, his hands nervously playing with the blanket covering him. He huffed under his breath, looking away as though trying to will Fenris to leave by ignoring him.   
  
"I spoke to the Herald mage."   
  
Dorian tensed further, his hands clutching the blanket as though he was going to use it as a shield. He sat up straighter, shifting his body higher on the cot in an attempt to put more distance between them.   
  
"Am I in trouble? Does Cullen want me to leave after what happened with Solas?"   
  
Fenris blinked, thrown off balance by the change in subject. He muttered under his breath, shifted closer and before Dorian could react had pulled him into his arms. Dorian struggled, he could hear the mage fighting to keep from crying out against him, trying to shove him away. But he was still too weak from his fight with Solas and after a moment slumped in his arms.   
  
"I'm not angry Dorian, I'm not disappointed. I should have been with you. I let how I feel interfere with the promise I made you. I should never have let you go to Redcliff without me."   
  
Dorian whimpered into his shoulder, his arms sliding around Fenris back, holding him close, his grip tight as he let go everything he'd been holding inside. "This is ridiculous." He hiccuped between stifled sobs. "It seems I'm always falling apart and you're always picking up the pieces. This is not the impression of me I want you to have."   
  
Fenris snorted, pulling back to meet Dorian's troubled gaze. "I have no doubt of the impression you wish me to have. I may not be very good at this, but... I'm your friend Dorian. Neither of us are very good at that sort of thing, but we are trying and that's what matters. I... keep failing in my promise to you. I hope you can forgive ne."   
  
"Don't be ridiculous, there's nothing to forgive. I... don't want to push you away Fenris. I'm... a terrible person and I... I'm not very good at asking for what I want. Actually I'm pretty terrible at it. So... what do you want Fenris?"   
  
"I told you before. I would like to know what this is between us and I don't agree that it has anything to do with our pasts. We share a bond I do not understand, but I do not want to lose you Dorian."   
  
"Even after...?" Dorian's eyes were haunted, a faint blush on his cheeks.   
  
"If you're referring to the Herald, you can stop right there. He confessed to what happened and that he was too drunk to notice you didn't want it."   
  
Dorian scowled at him. "But I could have refused the drinks Fenris, I could have said no."   
  
"With that dark future hanging over your head, and the nightmares you keep having and the fight we had before you left? You were looking for an escape Dorian. That you drank as much as you did is not surprising or wrong. You haven't had nearly enough time to recover from what happened in the Free Marches and coming to the Inquisition and facing your former mentor... Venhedis Dorian, you're not made of stone."   
  
"I could be." Dorian retorted.   
  
Fenris chuckled. "No, you really couldn't."   
  
"Fine. You're right, I care too much about too many things."   
  
"You do, but I like it." Fenris agreed softly, brushing a lock of hair from Dorian's eyes. "Wait a moment. You need a healing potion."


	32. Chapter 32

Dorian took the regeneration potion Fenris passed him, following it up with a glass of water.  
  
"You don't have to fuss over me Fenris." Dorian protested as Fenris set a pot of water to boil for tea and handed him the bowl of broth Cullen had left for him. "This last bit of trouble was my own fault. I let Solas get to me."   
  
"Maybe. But neglecting your needs is mine. I told you Dorian, I should not have let my personal feelings overrule the promise I made to you. I know better than anyone what it's like. You need a friend no matter how... prickly you become."   
  
"Prickly?" Dorian repeated, sipping the broth he held. "I was unforgivably rude Fenris. I never meant to imply..."   
  
"Hush mage." Fenris growled. "I know what it's like. I've been there. Pushing away those who offer only their help and friendship, losing my temper in ways that were... destructive and not easily forgiven. Attempting to drown my memories in alcohol... You do not need to explain anything to me."   
  
Dorian set down the bowl of broth, reaching for Fenris' hand where it rested on the side of his cot. Fenris met his eyes as Dorian laced their hands together. "I know I said it wasn't fair you understood what I experienced when you rescued me. But I take it back. I thank the Maker it was you, I wouldn't trade you for anyone Fenris. In many ways, I think it was a miracle you were there."   
  
Fenris swallowed past the lump in his throat, tightening his grip on Dorian's hand. "Even though I failed you?"   
  
Dorian sighed, putting his other hand to Fenris' cheek. "You didn't fail me. You said so yourself, we're new to this whole friendship thing, we're bound to make mistakes. Besides, you had no way of knowing the... Hissrad would find us as soon as he did. But without you being who you are, I would be his slave now. I can never thank you enough for that."   
  
Fenris grunted and before he could stop himself, he'd pulled Dorian into his arms and kissed him. The mage sighed, relaxing beneath him to meet his eyes as the kiss ended, a smile on his lips. "You're also the best kisser I've ever met."   
  
Fenris blushed, relaxing his hold as the kettle behind him finished boiling. "So are you." He whispered huskily, getting up to make tea. "Finish your broth mage."   
  
"Bossy." Dorian murmured, but did as Fenris asked without further protest.   
  
\----xxx----   
  
After they'd finished their tea, Dorian shifted on the cot and set his cup aside, swinging his legs over the side.   
  
"What do you think you're doing?" Fenris asked, alarmed.   
  
"Getting up obviously. I feel much better after being taken care of so thoroughly." Dorian replied, meeting Fenris' gaze with warmth.   
  
"Mage." Fenris huffed under his breath. "You need more rest. I'm certain you haven't slept much since Redcliff, nor do I believe you've eaten enough, if at all."   
  
"I'm sure you understand why I don't yet have an appetite. I thought we might take a short walk, maybe it will help to clear my head."   
  
Fenris got to his feet, moving to Dorian's side. "You're certain you're well enough for that? You realize Cullen will want to question you about what happened."   
  
A flash of fear shone in Dorian's eyes and he shook his head as though trying to banish it. "You would have to remind me of that wouldn't you? Nevertheless, I still need to get out of this tent for a while."   
  
"Very well. Do you want me to run interference for you if we see Cullen?"   
  
"I... I'm not sure how I feel about that."   
  
Fenris grunted and placed a kiss to his forehead. "You were injured mage, you're allowed time to recover. It doesn't make you weak to need help."   
  
"You are entirely too patient with me Fenris, and you have this very nasty habit of making it hard to argue with you."   
  
"I'm sure you'll find something to argue about." Fenris teased.   
  
"That's it, let's get out of this tent."   
  
Fenris chuckled under his breath. "Lead the way mage."   
  
Five minutes later they were on the outside of the camp, far enough away that they wouldn't be seen or interrupted. Dorian kept to a leisurely pace as they walked the perimeter in silence. After they'd gone half-way around the circle of torch light, Dorian stopped, his gaze fixed on the sky as he studied the stars.   
  
"This place has a deplorable lack of privacy and an abundance of snow and ice." He declared.   
  
"You wish for privacy? Now?"   
  
Dorian turned to look at him, his eyes filled with tenderness. "Don't you?"   
  
Fenris blushed and looked away. "I... admit I'm not comfortable having nowhere to go to escape the stares and the gossip."   
  
"Maker's breath, I can't believe I'm going to ask this now..." Dorian hesitated. "But... I need to know, is it true what I heard about you and... Cullen?"   
  
"It is." Fenris nodded, tensing for Dorian's reaction.   
  
"I see. I... wasn't sure, but thank you for telling me."   
  
Fenris arched a brow at him. "Is that all? Aren't you angry?"   
  
"I can't say I'm happy about it, because I'm not. But I did insult you and I didn't apologize until it was too late. I... is it serious then?"   
  
"No." Fenris replied, stepping in front of him to make him meet his eyes. "No Dorian, it is not serious. It was one time and it will never be repeated."   
  
"Never? Really?"   
  
"Really. I made that very clear before anything happened."   
  
"Oh. Then I suppose you want to know about Solas, since we're clearing the air?"   
  
"Not particularly. It can wait. I would rather we return to the tent and go to bed, it's cold out here and I'm very tired."   
  
"You want to go to bed. With me?"   
  
"I do. If it's all right with you. We'll both be a lot warmer if we share a bed."   
  
"I... suppose." Dorian smiled, visibly relaxing. "Very well, lead the way Fenris."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
Dorian eyed the cot before him critically, his mouth set in a line and his brow pulled down in what could only be irritation. "I'm not sure about this." He murmured, trying to ignore the fact that Fenris was stripping out of his armour as if it was perfectly normal with Dorian standing not two feet away.   
  
"Not sure about what?" Fenris grunted, following Dorian's gaze.   
  
"The size of the cot of course. It's ridiculously narrow. I don't see how it could possibly hold two people, never mind support the weight."   
  
With a barely muffled sigh of frustration, Fenris finished removing his leathers, bending to pull on a loose pair of breeches. He straightened, coming to stand before him, a stern look on his face. "Do not do this mage. You're fussing over nothing and we are going to share the cot, even if I have to undress you myself and carry you to it. Now get out of your armour so we can go to bed."   
  
Dorian stared back at him, his mouth hanging open, Fenris trying not to smile at his shock. "I... kaffas. I was about to say you wouldn't do that, but I know you would." He muttered, reaching for the buckles holding his armour in place.   
  
Fenris made a noise of approval and moved to the cot, settling under the blankets to wait. "Hurry up Dorian. You're making me cold watching you shiver."   
  
"I am hurrying." Dorian retorted, a few choice Tevene curses muttered under his breath.   
  
Stripped down to his smalls, he hurriedly pulled on his own sleep pants, clenching his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering as he slid under the blanket Fenris held up for him. The warrior chuckled, pulling  Dorian's back flush with his chest and putting an arm around his middle, holding him close. "You are ridiculous when you're deflecting mage. Stubborn enough that you would have stood there listing all the reasons why this wouldn't work until you froze solid."   
  
Dorian's teeth clacked together as he buried himself deeper under the blankets. "Stop making fun of me."   
  
Fenris pressed a light kiss to his shoulder, making the mage sigh and tense at the same time. "That's not why I said it. You do not need to pretend with me and I worry that one day you will go too far in denying what you need. I will not judge you Dorian, as long as you are honest with me. And yourself."   
  
Dorian's voice was thick with emotion when he spoke. "Thank you Fenris... just, thank you."   
  
"Go to sleep mage." Fenris whispered, his eyes drifting closed as Dorian relaxed in his embrace.


	33. Chapter 33

Dorian woke slowly, the sounds of people moving about, voices lifted and hushed equally in conversation. He shifted to stretch tired muscles and froze at the feeling of a body pressed into his back. The smell of cinnamon, apples and a tangy sweetness he'd always associated with lyrium penetrated his panic and he let out the breath he'd been holding.   
  
Fenris. Of course, he thought, though his body refused to release all his tension at the knowledge, despite how hard he fought it. The arm resting against his abdomen tensed, sliding up his torso to pull him close.   
  
"Mage." Fenris whispered, close to his ear, making him shiver. "Let it go. You're safe. I will not harm you."   
  
Dorian grunted, fighting his panic and pressing back into Fenris' chest, seeking the comfort and security the warrior freely offered. "Old habits." He muttered, hating the admission that slipped from him.   
  
Fenris grunted and pressed a kiss to his shoulder, his body relaxing further at the comforting gesture. He was about to speak when the crunch of boots sounded outside the tent and he froze, heart hammering in his chest.   
  
"Fenris? Are you in there? Are you awake? I need to speak to you." Cullen called, sounding hurried.   
  
Dorian tried to move away from the elf then, but Fenris tightened his grip, refusing to let him go. "Stop mage." He whispered, his voice rising to answer Cullen. "I'm awake. Give me time to get dressed."   
  
"Alright, I'll be near the horses when you're ready." Cullen replied, the crunch of boots letting them know he'd gone.   
  
Dorian was still tense as Fenris shifted him onto his back so he could see his eyes. "Why did you do that?" Dorian asked, frowning in confusion.   
  
"Why were you trying to get away? Does this make you uncomfortable?"   
  
Dorian's cheeks flushed. "I... yes. But not... kaffas." He swore, closing his eyes. "It's what I was taught Fenris. Reinforced by... by my father that what I wanted was deviant... shameful."   
  
Fenris pressed a kiss to his lips, Dorian's eyes opening in surprise as he relaxed beneath him. "There is nothing to be ashamed of Dorian. We are not in Tevinter." He whispered against his lips. "But I won't force you to do this again if it makes you uncomfortable."   
  
Dorian sighed. "It's not that... well it is but... it will take time for me to be at ease with this. I... don't want you thinking I don't want you here with me, because that's not the problem."   
  
"Good." Fenris smiled, kissing him again, one hand threading through his hair and drawing a pleased moan from him. "Because I wouldn't believe you if you said you didn't want me."   
  
Dorian huffed as Fenris broke the kiss to grin down at him. "You weren't supposed to notice that."   
  
"I notice many things." Fenris teased with a smirk, flicking his eyes down Dorian's body. "Unfortunately, now is not the time. Cullen is waiting." He said, slipping out of bed and pulling on his leathers. "Besides, when we are ready to take this further, I want us to have privacy. I want to hear how much you enjoy what I'm doing to you mage."   
  
"Vishante kaffas." Dorian muttered, sitting up to watch him. "You're horrible, saying that to me now and then leaving me here."   
  
"You're welcome to come with me."   
  
Dorian scowled at him. "I can't do that yet, as you well know. Besides, Cullen asked to see you. I doubt he's feeling very charitable towards me after what happened with Solas."   
  
"He's not angry with you Dorian. In fact, he was quite concerned about you and brought me straight here once I woke up."   
  
"He did?"   
  
Fenris finished strapping his sword in place and crossed to the bed where Dorian was looking at him with a puzzled expression on his face. "He did. He's also the one who told me not to give up on you. He was afraid I would miss out on something special if I let you go."   
  
"Cullen said all that?" Fenris nodded, retrieving Dorian's clothes from where he'd left them and handing them to him. "Get dressed. I'll wait for you and we'll see Cullen together."   
  
"It's really not necessary."   
  
"I think it is. Cullen may not be concerned, but there are still many here who will not look kindly on you if they saw what happened between you and Solas. I would feel better if you stayed by my side today."   
  
Dorian's throat closed up over the concern he heard in the warrior's voice. He ducked his head to hide his eyes and slid his legs over the side of the bed to dress. "I don't know what to say to that." He said, getting to his feet and inhaling sharply as Fenris invaded his personal space.   
  
Fenris put his hands to Dorian's arms, holding him still. "You don't need to say anything. Just promise me you'll let me know if anyone threatens you again."   
  
"Threatens me?" Dorian repeated with a frown. "Oh, you mean Solas. I, uh... he didn't threaten me Fenris."   
  
"Then why did he attack you?"   
  
Dorian moved out of Fenris' reach, shifting uncomfortably. "Because I attacked him first. He insulted you, after he'd mocked me for losing my... my slave. I wasn't thinking and I lashed out."   
  
"Ridiculous mage. That was foolish. If Cullen hadn't been there... if Solas had..." Fenris broke off, pulling him into his arms.   
  
"If Solas had what? Beaten me? Killed me? Are you implying I'm no match for that unwashed hobo apostate?" Dorian demanded.   
  
Fenris pressed a kiss to Dorian's neck, the mage sighing at the contact, his body relaxing in his arms. "No."   
  
"No? No what?" Dorian repeated, sounding confused as Fenris continued nuzzling his neck, kissing along his jawline. "Fenris, stop that. I can't think when you... mphf."   
  
Dorian moaned against his lips, his words lost beneath the elf's demanding press of lips to his. Fenris ended the kiss, touching their foreheads together.   
  
"If he'd killed you I would never have been able to forgive myself and I would not have you in my arms now. Promise me you won't take a risk like that again? I don't know what we have here mage, but the thought of you no longer in this world... just... promise me?"   
  
Dorian flushed, his throat constricting over Fenris' unexpected confession. "Alright." He nodded, clearing his throat. "But only if you promise the same."   
  
Fenris snorted and released him, his eyes flashing with irritation, though it held no heat. "I should have known you'd be difficult. Very well, I promise."   
  
"Then so do I."   
  
"This is going to be hard isn't it?" Fenris grunted, meeting his eyes with suspicion.   
  
"Given how things have gone between us so far, I'd say yes. That being said, I don't want to lose you either. No matter how difficult this might be, I think you're worth it."   
  
Fenris grunted in response, turning away to hide the effect Dorian's reply had on him. If he met the mage's eyes now, he knew there would be tears in them. "Come on ridiculous mage. Let's go see Cullen before he comes looking for me again."


	34. Chapter 34

The sun was bright, the sky clear of clouds as they left the tent and headed to where the horses had been corralled. It seemed like everyone was in motion. Servants, soldiers, all the residents and members of the Inquisition and Haven who had survived the Red Templar attack.   
  
They passed through the mass of people who were clearly packing up tents and putting out cook fires. Others were loading pack animals and a handful of carts the townspeople had managed to salvage in their flight from the Red Templar army. By the time they found Cullen, it was obvious to both of them that the Inquisition was on the move.   
  
The Commander smiled when he saw them approaching, waving off a soldier who appeared to have been delivering a message.   
  
"Thank you for coming Fenris. You as well Lord Pavus. We haven't spoken much but I'm glad to see you up and walking about."   
  
Dorian nodded, sticking close to Fenris' side. "I hear I have you to thank for letting Fenris know where I was."   
  
"It was my fault you were unconscious in the first place."   
  
"Perhaps, but you were just doing your job, and I want to apologize for what happened. If I hadn't lost my temper you wouldn't have needed to step in."   
  
Cullen arched a brow at him, meeting Fenris' eyes with confusion. "That's not what Solas told us."   
  
"What are you talking about?" Fenris asked.   
  
"After the Herald woke, he spoke to Solas at length. According to him, Solas admitted he deliberately provoked you but he wouldn't say why. The Herald had Leliana assign agents to watch him and I've assigned one of my ex-Templar recruits to keep a close eye on him as well."   
  
"I don't understand." Dorian frowned. "Why would he do that?"   
  
Cullen looked out over the camp before answering. "I don't know, but the Herald has some ideas but he also wants this kept quiet for now. You should also know that Solas has been ordered to stay away from both of you."   
  
Fenris narrowed his eyes. "This is about more than just attacking Dorian."   
  
"Yes. But I can't say more on that at the moment. The reason I called you up here is that the Herald wanted me to assure you both that you are welcome in the Inquisition. He uh... didn't elaborate, but I assume there might be a reason for why he felt it necessary to relay such a thing?"   
  
"You could say that." Fenris growled, his arms crossing over his chest while Dorian flushed.   
  
"Very well. At any rate, we're heading out today and you're welcome to choose mounts of your liking if you wish to scout ahead. Solas seems to know of a fortress north of here that is suitable to our purposes. Or you could just follow the main force. Entirely up to you."   
  
"Thank you Commander. We'll have to think about it, but we appreciate you telling us." Dorian nodded.   
  
"Good. Well I'm needed elsewhere. We can talk on the road later if you wish. Good day." Cullen nodded and headed off towards where his troops could be seen getting packed and organized for the trek north. Dorian watched him go, Cullen's words tumbling through his mind making him increasingly suspicious.   
  
"What do you suppose prompted the Herald to send Cullen to tell to us that?" He asked, frowning at Fenris. "You said you talked to him. What exactly did this talk involve? Did you threaten him?"   
  
Fenris looked away, a pink tinge colouring the tips of his ears, but he kept his arms crossed over his chest. "I hit him."   
  
"You assaulted the Herald?" Dorian didn't know if he should feel touched by gesture or angry that Fenris had done what he couldn't.   
  
"When I realized what had happened, it took everything I had not to kill him."   
  
"I can't decide if that's chivalrous, suicidal or presumptuous. Lucky for you, I'm a practical man. I don't know if hitting him was wise, though I'm sure it got his attention."   
  
Fenris sighed, dropping his arms to his side. "I also made him promise to apologize to you for what happened."   
  
"You what?!" Dorian exclaimed. "It really wasn't as bad as all that Fenris. Yes, I had too much to drink and I suspected what would happen if I did. But I also didn't do or say anything to stop it either."   
  
"So why didn't you?"   
  
"Because I..." Dorian scowled at him. "Kaffas, you know why already don't you?"   
  
Fenris put a hand to Dorian's arm drawing his gaze to meet his own. "You didn't think he'd listen did you? You thought it better to pretend and get it over with rather than be put on the spot or be accused of being a tease. That is not consent mage, no matter how guilty you might feel. The Herald is man of power and you saw him as a threat if you refused his advances, that he might toss you out of the Inquisition if you didn't let him have what he wanted. You also didn't want a scene or have to explain why you didn't want him."   
  
Dorian cast his eyes to the ground. "Did it hurt?"   
  
Fenris blinked. "Did what hurt?"   
  
"When you hit him? Did it hurt?" He repeated, lifting his gaze.   
  
Fenris smirked peering at him through his fringe. "No, but it was satisfying. He had a mark on his jaw for some time afterwards, but I'm sure the healers have dealt with it by now."   
  
"Pity." Dorian sniffed. "I think I would like to have seen that."   
  
"I could hit him again if you like." Fenris suggested, heading back to their shared tent to pack.   
  
Dorian laughed, his tension easing. "Not right now. But if I change my mind I'll let you know."


	35. Chapter 35

It took four days to reach the fortress Solas had directed the Herald to seek. Almost everyone following the procession crossed the bridge into Skyhold in awed silence. No one expected the fortifications to still be standing. Most anticipated that the courtyard and various out-buildings to have fallen to the elements or be overrun by vermin, but that was not the case. Aside from a few areas of the keep and outer walls which sported damage from some long forgotten war, every building was more or less structurally sound and nowhere had foliage overrun the place.

Tired, cold and entirely fed up with the stares and murmurs they continued receiving, Dorian and Fenris escaped the chaos in the courtyard and slipped away to the battlements. "This structure is stunning." Dorian mused as they walked the wall toward an upper courtyard.

"Stunning and reeking of magical power." Fenris grunted.

"You can sense that?"

"The markings..."

Dorian scowled, interrupting him. "I should have guessed. Nothing about that ritual you endured has any redeeming qualities does it? Yes, let's play with ancient magic we don't understand so we can prove just how powerful we are! Never mind the cost, what's a few dozen lives and a man's future worth anyway? Think of the benefits!"

Fenris grunted, halting his walk and staring at Dorian who continued on, ranting and muttering curses under his breath. He got ten feet before realizing he was alone, turning back to face him with a sheepish look on his face. He returned to Fenris' side, not meeting his eyes.

"I apologise Fenris. I didn't mean to go on like that, I sometimes get carried away. So, what do you make of the magic you sense here? It seems old to me."

Saying nothing, Fenris grabbed Dorian by his upper arns, backed him to the nearest wall and kissed him, hard. The mage grunted in surprise, tensing for a moment before kissing him back just as soundly.

After several minutes, Fenris broke the kiss to come up for air, the dazed but pleased look in Dorian's eyes making his heart skip.

"I'm all for getting more friendly Fenris." Dorian smiled lazily. "But what was that for?"

"You are a constant shock mage."

Dorian frowned. "Am I to take that as a compliment? Shocks are usually bad, and in my experience they never result in kissing."

"You constantly surprise me with your disdain for Magister's. I assumed every mage in the Imperium were vile, corrupted, self-serving..."

"Cretin?" Dorian offered, a brow twitching up in question.

Fenris smiled. "Quite."

"Well, there are many who fit that description as you know, but there are others like myself who want it to change." Dorian paused, looking out over the chasm that separated Skyhold from the surrounding mountains. "Though given recent events and my own experiences here, I no longer believe I'll be helping to change it."

"Recent events?" Fenris repeated, moving to Dorian's side and putting a hand to the mage's hip. He kept the pressure light, wanting to reassure rather than claim possession and Dorian sighed, the tension in his spine easing.

"Corypheus? The inescapable reality that he's a darkspawn Magister? One of the infamous Tevinter mages who destroyed the world? Imagine how that news will be received back home? Never mind how the Inquisition forces are going to look at me now."

"What are you talking about Dorian?" Fenris asked, moving into his line of sight, his eyes filing with concern. "Have people in the Inquisition made you feel unwelcome?"

Dorian snorted. "You're joking right?

Fenris scowled.

"Mmm. Not joking. Let me clear it up for you then. One, I'm a mage. Two I'm a mage from Tevinter who is only a single step away from being a Magister by way of political power and three, the big bad evil who wants to destroy the world is also a Magister. An insane one of course, but at the heart, still a Magister."

Fenris huffed at him, putting a hand to his cheek and tilting his head to meet his eyes. "Has someone threatened you?"

"What? No. Well... not really. Not threats exactly, just the usual disdain, nasty whispering, scathing glances. Typical for someone who's also a pariah in his own country. It's nothing I haven't experienced before, though it does get tedious after a while."

"Well I'm going to see that it stops. Immediately." Fenris growled, dropping his hand. "You've been through enough since leaving your home and you've done nothing but help these people since you got here."

"I really hope you're joking. What are you planning to do? Threaten every person who utters an unkind word against me?"

"If I have to."

An unfamiliar warmth bloomed in Dorian's chest at the heat in Fenris' words and his declaration to protect and defend him. Maker, how was it possible that such a horrible, nightmarish event had managed to deliver him such a rare treasure?

"I see." Dorian murmured, unable to stop the small smile tugging at his lips. "Does this mean you'll be stuck to my side no mater where I go in this place?"

"Foolish mage." Fenris scoffed, heat rising in his cheeks. "I made you a promise Dorian. That includes being harassed by unwashed barbarians from the south."

"Why Fenris, I had no idea you shared my preference for proper hygiene." Dorian teased, his face lighting up in a pleased smile.

"I..."

A commotion from the lower courtyard drew their attention, cutting off whatever Fenris had been about to say. Sharing a look, they peered over the side in time to see the Herald raise a massive sword skyward to the cheers and applause of the crowd gathered below.

"Unbelievable." Fenris snorted. "They've made him the leader of this operation."

Dorian arched a brow at him. "You don't approve?"

"If his judgment in intimate situations were any worse he could destroy half of Thedas. I suppose we will have to see how he handles this new responsibility."

"You don't have much faith in the man." Dorian observed as the crowd dispersed and Cullen began barking orders to his men.

"After what he did to you, no. Has he made any effort to apologize?"

"Apologize?"

Fenris blushed. "I made it clear to him he was to apologize to you for what happened in Redcliff."

Dorian sighed. "I wish you hadn't done that. I appreciate having you defend me Fenris, but I'd rather just forget it ever happened. I was drunk, he was drunk... neither one of us was thinking clearly..."

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't try to convince me that it was an accident. We both know it wasn't and what you were doing to yourself afterward was not because you enjoyed it. Time will heal what happened but not if you convince yourself you share the blame."

"You're insufferable." Dorian retorted. "But you've made your point, so can we please discuss something else?"

"As you wish. Why don't we explore the keep while the Inquisition leaders are busy organizing the place? They won't be needing us or anyone else until they've got things sorted."

"You mean find a place to hide from all the oh so welcoming commoners of the Inquisition?" He smirked.

"I would like a break from everyone actually, so long as it's with you."

"You are a very syrupy elf Fenris." Dorian teased, heading for the stairs. "But as it happens, I share your need for a break. Let's head to the stable area, see if there's another way inside. I don't relish the idea of explaining to anyone in the inner circle what we're doing."

\----xxx----

Half an hour later they had entered the keep through the kitchens, passing through to a large and empty room. Aside from some art and torches, there was nothing there. Fenris prowled the room opening a door off the kitchen, whistling in appreciation and drawing Dorian to join him.

"What is it?" He asked, peering over Fenris' shoulder, his eyes going wide at the sight of the wine barrels and whiskey casks. "Oh! Well this is a pleasant discovery. I wonder if there's anything here worth sampling?"

Fenris snorted. "Even if there is, it probably tastes like vinegar."

Dorian ignored him and moved further into the room. After a moment his face grew thoughtful. "Not necessarily."

"What are you talking about? Who knows how long this has been down here."

"A long time given the level of dust, but everything in here has been enchanted Fenris. It hasn't aged at all." He replied, giving the warrior a knowing smile. "What do you say to sampling one of these wines Fenris? I know I could certainly use a drink."

Fenris returned his smile. "If there's any Agreggio Pavali I wouldn't say no."

Dorian arched a brow at him, a million thoughts running through his mind, the most prevalent was the fact that Fenris had just named one of his favourite wines. "You like Agreggio?" He asked, searching the wine rack and coming up with a bottle of exactly that label. "I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised." He continued, coming back to Fenris' side. "And pleased. It's one of my favourites."

Fenris smirked. "In that case, perhaps we should help ourselves to another bottle for after we're assigned a room? The Inquisitor does owe you an apology after all."

"He does doesn't he?" Dorian agreed. "Well I won't argue with your logic, but how about we finish this bottle first and come back for the second?"

"Deal. Let's see where that door across the hall leads. I don't relish being caught in the wine cellar even if we are justified."

"Good idea. Lead the way."


	36. Chapter 36

Fenris lounged in an armchair, drinking the wine they'd taken and watching with affection as Dorian poured over the wall of books as though he'd been dying of thirst and was now drowning in water.   
  
"Can you believe this room exists Fenris?" He gushed, running a hand reverently over the spines of a shelf of books. "Some of these are so rare, they're near priceless in value. It would take years to catalogue them all, never mind read them. I wonder if one already exists? Does that desk you're sitting at have drawers? Perhaps there's a record somewhere."   
  
"I haven't checked since we were supposed to be taking a break to drink wine together." He drawled, watching in amusement as Dorian paused in his musings to meet his eyes, a faint blush rising in his cheeks.   
  
"I... you're right. I'm being a terrible drinking companion." He said, moving to Fenris' side. "How's the wine?"   
  
"See for yourself." He said, passing him the bottle.   
  
Dorian tipped it to his lips, taking a small mouthful and swirling it around his tongue before swallowing. "Delightful. It's as though it came fresh from the market today. And it's perfectly chilled too. I wonder if the enchantment on the cellar included specifics on how the different spirits were to be preserved?"   
  
Fenris huffed and took another drink as Dorian sat down on the desk, facing him. "This is nice." He mused, watching him. "I'd forgotten how enjoyable it is to just sit and appreciate a fine wine in fine company."   
  
"I have missed it as well. It has been a long while since I shared a drink with a friend."   
  
"Did you do it often when you were in Kirkwall?"   
  
Fenris smirked. "You mean drink or drink with friends?"   
  
"I'm going to guess you did a little of both." Dorian mused, taking the bottle from him for another drink.   
  
"I did, though I never drank the good stuff with friends. In the mansion I believed to have belonged to Danarius, the cellar was fully stocked with Agreggio. I spent years drinking the contents of that cellar..."   
  
Dorian frowned, passing him the bottle. "You never shared it with anyone? May I ask why? I thought the people you met there were your friends."   
  
"I... didn't feel worthy of them and I didn't feel comfortable sharing something like that. I may have offered a glass to whoever stopped by, depending on my mood, but I never invited them."   
  
Dorian shifted on the desk to look at him more closely. "This sounds like a story you're trying very hard not to tell, but it's coming out anyway."   
  
Fenris rolled the bottle between his palms, his face thoughtful. "I don't know what it is, but whenever we are alone together, I feel the need to tell you of my past. I do not know if it is because I wish to push you away or because I want no secrets between us."   
  
Dorian hummed under his breath, taking the bottle from Fenris' hands for another drink. "I... sometimes feel the same way Fenris." He admitted, staring at the floor. He could feel Fenris stare up at him, but couldn't think of anything to add. "Perhaps we should leave this discussion for when we have our own rooms? As much as I want to hear your stories, I don't want to risk being interrupted."   
  
"That makes two of us." Fenris agreed, taking the bottle back. "You want your own room then?"   
  
Dorian's pale green eyes snapped up, meeting Fenris' emerald ones. His look was intense, the corners pinched ever so slightly but he could not tell what the warrior was thinking. "I... well, what else would I expect from the Inquisition?"   
  
"We could share mage." Fenris huffed, dropping his eyes. "Though if that doesn't interest you, I won't mention it again."   
  
Dorian's heart was hammering in this chest as he put a hand to Fenris' chin, tilting his head to meet his eyes. "I never said that Fenris. I had no idea you would want that, but if you do I wouldn't say no. I... trust you Fenris."   
  
Fenris grunted, the corners of his mouth twitching as he suppressed a smile. "I'm not suggesting we... well, you know... I just would feel better knowing where you are. To keep you safe."   
  
Dorian's heart thumped, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, his eyes lit with mischief. "So you're saying I'm safe from you?"   
  
Fenris grunted and pulled out of his grasp, frowning up at him. "I'm being serious mage."   
  
Dorian slipped off the desk and crossed to a bookshelf on the other side, keeping his back turned to read the spines. "I'm aware. I was trying to lighten the mood since we were supposed to be enjoying this short break from the crowds, but clearly that doesn't interest you." He huffed, his mild amusement turning quickly to irritation. If the warrior wasn't interested in flirting, one of his finer talents, how would they ever get to know each other better, never mind share a room? "Perhaps we should leave this topic for another time as well and see how things are going upstairs."   
  
He was so distracted by his short speech he didn't hear Fenris until the warrior had crossed the room and slipped his arms around his waist. He yelped, heart thumping as Fenris pressed into his back, his head resting on his shoulder.    
  
"You're right mage. I apologize. Would you please continue with what you were saying before I interrupted?"   
  
Dorian let out the breath he'd been holding, his hands coming to rest over Fenris' own. He pressed back into the elf's embrace, still nervous but pleased and surprised his words hadn't changed anything between them. "I'm not sure I should. The mood has changed and I feel as if I've just had a bucket of ice water dumped over me."   
  
Fenris pressed a kiss to his shoulder, his grip tightening. "Then perhaps we should see if this place has dwarven plumbing? I think we both could use a hot bath... with soaps and oils... a good wash would do us some good."   
  
Dorian groaned, turning in the elf's arms to face him, his hands slipping around Fenris' waist. He frowned at him, the urge to kiss him conflicting with the image of a hot bath. "Now that was uncalled for. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were a temptation demon, sent here to taunt me with all things Ferelden doesn't have. Like plumbing, hot water and... proper hygiene."   
  
"I am not a demon mage." Fenris muttered, his eyes flashing. "Though I agree. I miss having ready access to hot water."   
  
"Mmm. Then perhaps we should take this opportunity to check if there are baths down here. Surely a fortress such as this would have dwarven plumbing. I can't imagine anyone staying in this Maker forsaken place in the middle of nowhere without it."   
  
Fenris smiled, pressing a kiss to Dorian's still pursed lips before releasing him. "Maker forsaken hmm?"   
  
"You have a nasty habit of distracting me. You're a terrible tease Fenris, but since you've planted the idea in my head, I can't stop thinking of a bath so I'll forgive you this once for stepping away from me. Again."   
  
Fenris met his eyes through the fringe of his hair, an impish smile on his lips. "I have not even begun to tease you mage. Now let's do our search before someone comes looking for us. I would rather not give this hidden library away after only just discovering it."   
  
"Haven't begun...?" Dorian's mind filled with images of what Fenris might mean by that, quickly straying into rather naughty scenes before giving himself a shake and blinking at him with a frown. "Venhedis." He muttered at the smirk on the warrior's lips. "Fine. Lead the way before you distract me again."   
  
Chuckling under his breath, Fenris slipped out the door ahead of him, pausing to wait and latching it closed after Dorian passed. They crossed the well-lit empty room to another archway that contained stairs leading up.   
  
"I don't think we'll find baths up there." Dorian grumbled. "In fact, it very likely leads straight to the main hallway of the keep."   
  
Fenris sighed. "Most likely. I don't suppose there's some spell you have that could lead us to water?"   
  
Dorian frowned at him. "Don't you think I would have mentioned that if I did? But no, there's nothing like that. Besides, even if there was, the residual magic of this place would interfere with it."    
  
"There's only one other door we haven't checked." Fenris reminded him. "I doubt it leads anywhere interesting."   
  
"You know Fenris, sometimes you can be quite the mood killer. Why don't you save your negative thoughts for after we've checked the door?"   
  
"Fine." Fenris retorted, heading back the way they'd come. He pulled the door open after struggling with it a bit, jumping back in surprise as several torches lit up as soon as it opened. "Fasta vass!"   
  
"What's the matter? Did you discover an infestation of nugs?" Dorian teased, joining him at the doorway.   
  
"No. But those torches lit themselves when I opened the door."   
  
"Fascinating." Dorian nodded, moving past him. "Ancient magics indeed. There are stairs here leading down. Should we see what's at the bottom?"   
  
Fenris shrugged. "We've come this far. I'm in no hurry to be surrounded by people again."   
  
"If all we find is a nest of giant spiders, my aversion to people will be sufficiently ended and I'll be in need of more wine. Which is probably unwise since we do not yet have a place for me to sleep it off."   
  
"Well we can't have that." Fenris teased, moving past him and heading down. "I'll go first."   
  
"I don't need protection from spiders Fenris. I'm more than capable of incinerating vermin and insects. Besides, I was kidding about wanting to rejoin the masses."  He huffed, following on the warrior's heels.   
  
"You know you talk too much?" Fenris muttered, glancing back at him with a smirk.   
  
"And you don't talk enough. Perfect balance." Dorian retorted, his gaze looking past the elf further ahead. "What's that down there? Does it feel warmer all of a sudden? I swear I've been cold since the day we boarded that ship in Kirkwall."   
  
"It does feel warmer." Fenris agreed as they rounded a bend in the short tunnel they were following.   
  
Dorian came up beside him, his mouth dropping open at what he saw. "Blessed Andraste... is that a natural hot spring?"   
  
Fenris didn't know what it was, but it was clear it had been used in the past. A wide, dark pool took up most of what was a large, open cave. Long benches and chairs lined two walls and they could see privacy screens on the other side of the pool. Steam rose from the surface of the water, warming the air. A faint light flickered beneath the surface of the pool which he assumed was achieved through simple enchantment runes.   
  
"Well I don't know about you, but I'm not wasting the opportunity to use this resource before anyone else discovers it." Dorian announced, crossing to a small cupboard to inspect the contents. "Sweet Maker." Dorian murmured. "It's fully stocked with soaps, oils... towels. There's even my favourite scent here... it's beyond extraordinary."   
  
Fenris hummed under his breath, a surge of affection flooding through him over Dorian's unfiltered excitement for soap. He crossed to his side to peer into the cupboard, his own interest piquing when he spotted a glowing violet bottle. "Is that felicidus aria water?" He breathed, drawing Dorian's gaze.   
  
"You... like aria water Fenris?"    
  
"I... it's enchanted. The scent changes depending on the mood and... personality of the wearer."   
  
Dorian frowned. "At the risk of killing the mood completely... why are you pleased to see it here? I assume previous experiences with it were not... nice."   
  
Fenris chuckled, catching Dorian's concerned look. "It has been over ten years mage. I have always wondered how it would smell on me as a free man."   
  
"Ah, I see." Dorian sighed, releasing the breath he'd been holding. "Well, let's get to bathing then so you can satisfy your curiosity."


	37. Chapter 37

Ten minutes later they had stripped out of their clothes and slipped into the steaming water. Each of them groaning or sighing their pleasure the heat of the pool elicited from the welcome feel of warmth suffusing their bodies.   
  
"Maker... " Dorian sighed, lying back and letting himself float. "This is perfectly sinful. It feels as though the water contains healing properties... I don't remember the last time I felt so warm."   
  
"I have heard of these pools." Fenris said from where he rested his head on the edge of the pool. "They say the waters from a hot spring contain healing properties from deep within the ground. Some believe they are a gift from the Maker. Others have said it is merely one more thing we do not understand about our world."   
  
Dorian yawned loudly, stretching his arms above his head where he floated in the water. "Pardon me..." He sighed, his eyes drifting closed. "I can't remember the last time I felt this relaxed."   
  
"Don't fall asleep mage. We still need to see the Inquisition advisors about a room, and I'm not carrying you out of here."   
  
Dorian grunted. "You know, I'm beginning to think you enjoy ruining a perfect moment. Would it kill you to let all that go for an hour?"   
  
"We've been down here for more than an hour." Fenris reminded him.    
  
Dorian sighed, letting his feet touch the bottom as he turned to look at the warrior who was watching him through half-lidded eyes. "And?"   
  
"And as much as I'm enjoying being down here with you, I would like to get some rest so we can talk."   
  
"Talk. I see. That doesn't sound the least bit ominous at all."   
  
Fenris moved away from the side of the pool to join Dorian in the centre. "I wish to tell you things about my past mage." He said, his voice soft.   
  
"Oh." Dorian blushed, looking away. "Alright then. Time to cut this short."    
  
Fenris lunged for him, taking hold of him and pulling him into his arms. "There are other things I wish to discuss as well." He whispered  huskily into Dorian's ear, his breath ghosting over the mage's neck and leaving goosebumps behind.   
  
Dorian frowned, his eyes closing as he relaxed in Fenris' embrace. "Mmm. If you keep this up we won't be getting to talking at all." He sighed, pressing a kiss to Fenris' neck.    
  
Humming under his breath in approval, Fenris let him go and moved to the pools edge. "Good point." He smirked, pulling himself out of the water to pad naked across the floor to where they'd left the towels.   
  
Dorian swallowed hard at the vision of taut, muscled elf as Fenris towelled himself off, completely unabashed at displaying his arousal. He followed him out of the water, his own arousal dying with the bloom of irritation he felt. Wordlessly, he snatched up his own clothes once he'd completely dried and stood waiting, arms crossed over his chest, while Fenris moved to the cupboard of soaps they'd inspected earlier.    
  
He waited some more as the warrior took the bottle of felicidus aria and spritzed it over himself, a tiny smile forming on his lips as he closed his eyes to it. But he was still irritated and annoyed by Fenris' teasing and the sight of him pleased didn't immediately warm his heart. If anything, his irritation increased and he bit his tongue to keep from muttering something acerbic.   
  
Fenris opened his eyes then, glancing at him briefly as he replaced the bottle, a frown creasing his brow as he noticed Dorian's posture. "What's wrong?" He asked, coming to join him at the cave entrance.   
  
"Nothing's wrong. Whatever could possibly be wrong Fenris? I've just been treated to a hot mineral bath and am now warmer than I've been in months. Let's get upstairs and see if we can't find a room in this massive fortress." He replied, his mask slipping into place behind a teasing smile as he turned to lead them back upstairs.   
  
Fenris frowned at the mage's back. He knew Dorian was lying, but was uncertain of the cause. Had he done something to upset him? He scowled at that, of course he had. But what? He was about to ask when Dorian uttered a surprised curse and he looked ahead to see a member of the Inquisition's servants looking at the mage in terror.   
  
"Don't mind us. It's just the evil mage from Tevinter and the lyrium Ghost passing through." Dorian said, sliding past the young blond man who had now recovered from his surprise and was taking several steps back from them, suspicion in his eyes.   
  
Fenris scowled over Dorian's shoulder, annoyed the young man had raised the mage's shields so fast. Kaffas, he'd hoped the bath and the wine would help relax Dorian and now this... tactless stranger had undone it all in less than a minute.   
  
The servant made to open his mouth to speak but nothing came out and he clamped his jaw shut at seeing Fenris' glare. He shook himself, straightening his spine but kept his eyes averted. "My apologies messere’s. I was just looking for the kitchens."   
  
"Well they aren't through here." Fenris snapped, pointing at the opposite corner of the room. "The kitchens are over there."   
  
Eyes wide, the servant boy bowed and moved away quickly. He stammered out another apology, though Fenris caught the sneering smirk on his face as he walked away.    
  
"So much for privacy." Dorian murmured heading for the stairs they'd seen earlier and not waiting to see if Fenris followed. "Let's go."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
He could feel the warrior's confusion and irritation like a palpable force at his back as he climbed the stairs and stepped into the main hall. Thankfully it was empty so he was spared having to explain to anyone where they'd come from. He wasn't entirely certain why he had become so annoyed with Fenris so quickly after leaving the pool, but he also wasn't in the mood to examine it either.    
  
He was about to continue out the front door when Josephine's voice rang out behind them. "Lord Pavus? Messere Fenris? There you both are. The Inquisitor asked me to speak to you about your rooms, but no one knew where you'd disappeared to." She said, smiling as they turned to join her. "Though much of the  grounds are intact, many of the smaller rooms have sustained some damage over the years."   
  
"To be expected I imagine." Dorian nodded. "For a place so far removed from everything, it's remarkable it's still largely untouched by nature and time."   
  
"Very true my lord." Josephine agreed. "But it brings me to my point all the same. I did not wish to presume, but given the shortage of immediately available space, I was wondering if the two of you would mind sharing in the meantime?"   
  
"I have no objections." Fenris grunted from where he stood at Dorian's side.    
  
"Neither do I it would seem." Dorian agreed, though Fenris didn't miss the sudden clenching of his jaw.   
  
"Very good." The Ambassador smiled. "There is a room just overlooking the garden that has no damage and most of the furniture is largely intact. It is serviceable enough, but I assure you all the beds will be replaced.... as soon as we secure a few choice... alliances."   
  
"I'm certain it will be a vast improvement to sleeping on the ground surrounded by snow and ice Lady Ambassador." Dorian beamed, giving her his most charming smile. "I suppose we'd best go have a look at it."   
  
"Of course. Oh, one more thing." She said, drawing their attention once more. "I cannot say with certainty, but I believe a friend of yours is here Messere Fenris. They're with Varric on the battlements meeting with the Inquisitor. I thought you might want to know."   
  
"Thank you for the information Lady Ambassador." Fenris replied, his face unreadable. "I'll go after we've found our room."


	38. Chapter 38

After backtracking twice, either due to debris blocking a doorway or a miscalculation on which path would take them where they wanted to go, they reached the room Josephine had described. Dorian swung the door wide, his expectations low as he stepped over the threshold and into the room. A warm, unfamiliar feeling bloomed in his chest at what he saw. The room was spotlessly clean and a fire was lit in the hearth, suffusing the small space with a cosy warmth.

The bed was large enough for two and the sheets, a deep royal blue with silver accents, were clean and looked to be new. There was a small bookcase, a side table with a plate of cheese, bread and fruit, and a bottle of wine and two glasses. Before the fireplace sat two wingback chairs separated by a small table, presumably to hold drinks or a book.

"This... is not what I was expecting." Dorian said, his voice quiet as though he was afraid to disturb the cosy scene before him.

"It has greatly exceeded my expectations as well." Fenris agreed from beside him.

Dorian crossed to the table and popped a grape in his mouth, his shoulders still tense from his earlier annoyance. "Do you think the Inquisitor arranged this?"

"Perhaps." Fenris replied, watching him with narrowed eyes. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Not right now." Dorian huffed. "I thought you were going to see this friend of yours?"

Fenris grunted. "I would rather know why you're upset mage."

"It's... nothing we neeed to discuss at the moment." Dorian retorted, waving him to the door. "Go. See your friend. Perhaps by the time you return I'll have an answer for you."

"Dorian..."

"I mean it Fenris. I don't know why I'm annoyed with you, but I do know if you push me now it won't help."

"If you're certain?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I'm certain."

"You'll be here when I come back?"

"I don't exactly have anywhere else to go now do I?"

Fenris scowled at him and turned to the door. "I would suggest you take a nap but I fear you'll only take it the wrong way. I'll return as quickly as I can."

"Fine." Dorian replied, turning to fill a plate with food. "Just... go."

\----xxx----

A fluttering feeling settled in Fenris' chest as he made his way back through the main hall of the keep and down the stairs to the courtyard. He knew he'd done something to upset the mage, but he couldn't think what. He'd been fine in the pool and the cellar... it had happened somewhere between his getting dressed and returning to the hall.

What had he done wrong? Had Dorian expected something from him in the pool? Had he missed something Dorian had said? He shook his head, his brow pulling down in an angry scowl. He didn't like feeling so unsettled, especially not now. Not when he was going to talk to who he thought was now at Skyhold.

He reached the top of the battlements near the Western tower at the same time the Inquisitor began descending the stairs. Trevelyan tensed for a moment on seeing him before continuing his descent.

"Fenris." He greeted, his smile cautious. "I assume Josephine mentioned a friend of yours might be here."

"She did."

Trevelyan nodded. "She's still up there. Varric took off and might be hiding from Cassandra so I'm just going to check she isn't throttling him. If you'll excuse me?"

Fenris narrowed his eyes further. "Why would she be after Varric?"

Trevelyan turned to look up at him, a frown on his face. "From what I gathered Cassandra wanted to know where Hawke was and Varric said he didn't know. Clearly he lied. I doubt Cassandra is going to be happy about that. But don't worry, I'm on Varric's side in this."

"Good." Fenris grunted. "I appreciate you telling me."

Trevelyan nodded and continued on to the courtyard, leaving Fenris to go up. The elf heaved a sigh as he reached the top of the stairs, catching sight of Hawke leaning against the tower railing, lost in thought, a glass of wine in her hand.

"I didn't believe it when Varric told me you were here." Hawke drawled as he moved to her side. "Yet here you are."

"No one is more surprised than I." Fenris grunted.

"I'll bet." Hawke snorted. "How have you been Fenris?"

"I could ask you the same. We haven't spoken since you left us in Amaranthine. Did you find what you were looking for?"

"In a sense. It doesn't matter much now though, with Corypheus back from the dead. And you? Last I heard from Varric, he said you were hunting slavers in the Free Marches."

"I was. But the unrest in Ferelden has spread there as well. And someone put a price on my head in Tantervale. There was a poster."

Hawke smirked. "Sounds like you've had a lot of sucesses in your quest to rid the South of slavers."

"Perhaps."

Hawke leaned away from the railing and set her empty glass down. Turning to face him, she crossed her arms over her chest, her face an unreadable mask.

"What is it Hawke?" Fenris asked, mirroring her posture with a scowl.

"Is it true you're with a Tevinter mage?"

"It is."

"Maker's hairy balls Fenris! What are you playing at? Did all that ranting and raging you did about Imperium mages and the evils of magic mean nothing? Was it all bullshit?"

"Of course not." Fenris retorted. "I still believe magic is dangerous. But no more or less so than a Templar high on lyrium or a fanatical Chantry follower filled with righteousness. I am not so blind that I do not see corruption in people who aren't mages Hawke."

"You've changed Fenris." Hawke sighed. "Still doesn't tell me how you went from hating mages to being with one from the Imperium."

"I rescued him from a Qunari karatam. They were Ben-Hassrath Hawke."

Marion paled. "A bas-sarrabas in the hands of... Ben-Hassrath? Maker... shit Fenris. I'm sorry... I didn't mean to jump down your throat, I..." She shook herself, dropping her arms to her side and filling an empty wine glass, holding it out to him while she refilled her own. "How is he? I mean... is he better?"

Fenris nodded, sipping the wine to hide the worry he knew was in his eyes. "He seems better."

"Damn Fenris." Hawke gaped at him. "You... care about him don't you?"

"It was an accident."

"I'm not judging you Fen... I'm just surprised and... well, honestly, I'm happy for you if he makes you happy."

"Dorian is unlike any man or mage I've met before Hawke and I'm... not sure I'm doing the right thing. I don't know anything about being with someone."

"That's not true Fenris." Hawke said quietly. "You stood by me even when I made some pretty bad decisions. You know how to be a friend, so go with that. Being with someone is just more of what you do with a friend, just... closer. Am I wrong in assuming he trusts you?"

"No. You're not wrong... I think I did something to upset him not long ago. We found a natural hot spring under the keep. I thought it went well, but after we left the cellar he was... distant."

"Distant?" Marion frowned. "Maybe he thought the two of you were going to... well, be intimate in the spirng. You haven't yet have you?"

"No. There have been some... obstacles."

"Did he seem interested when you were in the cellar?"

Fenris groaned and downed the last of his wine in one swallow. "Fasta vaas. Yes, he did. I'm a fool. I was trying to reassure him... I wanted him to know he was safe with me."

"Just a guess, but I suspect he already knows that."

"Kaffas."

"I'm sure it's fine Fenris. Unless he's already told you he's not interested."

"No, he... he agreed to share a room with me."

Marion chuckled under her breath. "Then I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"I hope you're right."

"I'm sure I am. Anyway, you should get back to him because I need to get going. I told the Inquisitor I'd introduce him to my Warden friend in Crestwood."

"You're getting involved in this mess? Again?"

"It's Corypheus Fenris."

"Exactly. He's not your responsibility. It's the fault of the Warden's, not you."

"I know that, but I can help the Inquisitor stop the Warden's from aiding Corypheus. He's trying to save the world and if I can help with that, I will."

"Fine. You'll do what you want anyways. It was good to see you again Hawke. Just... try to stay safe?"

"I will Fen, and good luck with Dorian. You deserve to be happy."

"Thank you Hawke."

 

 


	39. Chapter 39

Once the door had closed on Fenris' back, Dorian stood there staring at it, the tension in his body keeping his shoulders up by his ears. He set his staff against the wall beside the bookcase and settled in one of the chairs by the fire. He had a plate of food in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

He sat there, nibbling at the food and not really tasting it while sipping the wine between bites. Before long his plate and glass were empty and he couldn't remember tasting any of it. He got to his feet, a scowl on his face as he returned the empty plate to the table, bringing the wine bottle back to his chair.

He poured out another glass and stared into the fire, mulling over what had caused his sudden dramatic shift in mood. It wasn't that Fenris had left him wanting in the pool, or ignored his attempt at flirtation in the hidden library. No, it wasn't that at all he realized with a start, downing more wine in a vain attempt to drown the unbidden line of thought, though there was no stopping what came to him. Fenris was being too understanding, too caring... too blighted much like what his own parents should have been - an unconditional safe haven who loved him, unconditionally.

Fasta vaas! He swore in his head, lurching to his feet to pace the room. Was that really what was happening here? Was he upset with Fenris for being what his parent's could never be? That was ridiculous and completely unacceptable. Fenris didn't deserve his anger, which likely meant he didn't deserve Fenris.

A chill ran through him at that and he put a hand to his cheek, surprised to find it damp from tears he hadn't known he was shedding. He raked a hand over his face, angry now at his show of weakness and drained his wine glass for a second time. He frowned at the cozy room, the scene looking like something out of a long dead fantasy he'd long since given up as hopeless. Yet the circumstances surrounding the idyllic scene was no fantasy and the reality tainted the picture of peace the room implied.

But as he stood there arguing with himself, perched upon the razor edge of indecision and fear, a small part of him knew he was being irrational. With a heavy sigh, he removed his shawl and hung it on a peg on the wall. He returned to his chair, filled the two glasses with more wine and settled in to wait for Fenris to return.

\----xxx----

Fenris headed back to the room, certain Dorian wouldn't be there when he arrived. He stepped inside and couldn't hide his surprise to find the mage waiting for him by the fire. Wordlessly, he removed his pauldrons and gauntlets and joined him at the hearth.

"I half expected you wouldn't be here when I returned." He said, breaking the silence.

"I almost wasn't." Dorian replied, meeting his gaze.

"Can you tell me what's wrong now?"

"Not really. At least not without sounding completely and utterly mental. I... I suppose I'm questioning your interest in me. I can't tell if you want to share a room with me because you want to keep me safe or if it's more than that."

"It's more Dorian. I know I haven't been very consistent with my actions. It's understandable you're confused. I'm sorry. I had hoped finding the library and the baths would help you relax. I didn't realize that what you needed were my words."

"Am I really that easy to read?" Dorian exclaimed, a flush staining his cheeks. "That's not comforting."

"Only to me."

Dorian snorted and sipped more wine. "Did you see your friend?"

Fenris blinked. He'd already forgotten Hawke. He'd been so preoccupied with worry for Dorian, the conversation with Hawke had faded fast. "It was Hawke. We talked for a while. She's headed to Crestwood to meet a Grey Warden friend."

"I see. And?"

Fenris shrugged. "And nothing. I wished her safe travels and we said our goodbyes."

"But I thought she was one of your closest friends? You didn't offer to join her?"

"Why would I? We haven't seen each other in nearly four years and... and I won't leave you behind."

"Oh." Dorian murmured. "Well... Would now be a good time to tell me about your life in Kirkwall?"

Fenris smiled. "If that is your wish." He said, refilling their glasses. "When I first met her, Hawke was just a random woman who answered my request for help against Danarius and his hunters."

Dorian listened quietly while Fenris recounted his time in Kirkwall. From finding the mansion he'd tracked Danarius to empty, to joining Hawke in the Deep Roads and ending with the destruction of the Chantry.

"So you stood by her in defending the mages from the Templars?"

Fenris stared into the fire. "I did. I may not have trusted mages, but I did not agree killing them all for the act of one rebel mage was fair or just. Unfortunately, Meredith and Orsino were compromised and both betrayed their own people. We fled Kirkwall after Meredith was defeated. Varric and Aveline returned to Kirkwall once we realized the rumour of an Exalted March was nothing but a rumour. The rest of us went our separate ways a few months later."

Dorian set aside his glass, watching him thoughtfully. "You were in Kirkwall several years Fenris. In all that time you... chose to be alone. May I ask why?"

"At first it was because I didn't feel worthy of someone else's affection. After Hadriana I didn't want to put anyone at risk with Danarius still out there."

"At risk?" Dorian frowned. "Forgive me, but I don't understand. Does it have something to do with what happened on Seheron?"

Fenris ducked his head, refusing to meet his eyes. "It does. When Danarius was forced to leave me behind, I was taken in by a group of Fog Warriors. They healed me, nursed me back to health and gave me a place among them. When Danarius returned, they refused to let him take me. He ordered me to kill them... so I did. It felt as though it were inevitable. The life I'd been living had been nothing but a child's fantasy, but... when I saw what I'd done, covered in their blood, their bodies littering the ground... I fled from it and I ran."

"That's... awful Fenris and not your fault." Dorian murmured. "Thank you for trusting me enough to share that. It can't be easy to talk about, but... how can you bear to be anywhere near me knowing what I am? How can you not be reminded of your past every time you look at me?"

"You are nothing at all like the Magister's I met during my time as Danarius' slave. Nothing about you reminds me of that... in fact, you..." Fenris paused, a faint blush on his cheeks.

"I what, Fenris?"

"You remind me of things I never thought I'd miss. Fine wines, hot sunny days, the flower gardens in Qarinus. The ships along the coast of Minrathous, the smell of the sea, fine clothes, warm running water... fresh fruit. I had no idea I took those things as luxuries for myself until I came to the Free Marches. You remind me that not everything I experienced in the Imperium should be forgotten."

"Oh! I... I had no idea."

Fenris smiled at him. "Why would you? You... also stir things in me I never thought I'd feel for anyone. You feel like home Dorian and I want us to be closer."

"I... I want the same thing. I feel blessed it was you who rescued me. I never imagined meeting anyone as extraordinary as you."

Fenris blushed as he leaned forward to take Dorian's hand in his. "I like how you see me mage." He whipered, his voice strained with emotion. "You don't see the weapon I was created to be. You see me as a man and... it humbles me."

"How else would I see the man who saved my life?" Dorian whispered back, tightening his grip on Fenris' hand. "I can never repay you for that Fenris."

"You already have." Fenris grunted. "You agreed to share a room with me Dorian. You didn't have to."

"Of course I did. Besides, I wanted to. I haven't stopped being attracted to you since I woke beside you outside Kirkwall."

Fenris slid forward in his chair and leaned towards him to press a soft kiss to his lips. "You taste like home Dorian."

"And you taste like forbidden fruit." Dorian murmured, leaning back in for another kiss.

"As much as I want this to continue, we've both had a very trying day. Would you be okay with just going to sleep?"

Dorian sighed. "I'd like to protest that idea, but you're right. I'm exhausted. I don't think I'm in any condition for anything more strenuous than crawling into bed."

Fenris smiled, releasing him. "I'm sure you'd muster the energy if properly motivated mage. But I'm in the same state as you. Come on, let's go to bed."


	40. Chapter 40

Dorian woke as the sun dawned bright the next day, the light reflecting through a small stained glass window. The warmth Fenris gave off from behind him was like a blanket of peace and safety, the elf's light snoring bringing a smile to his lips. His chest felt tight at the intensity of the emotions he was feeling and he snuggled deeper into the warrior's embrace.    
  
He didn't want this moment to end. It felt as though he were on the beginning edge of a future happiness he'd never imagined having for himself. Fenris sighed behind him, the arm around his waist tightening and pulling him closer, drawing a sigh of pleasure from his lips.   
  
"Good morning my mage." Fenris whispered, pressing light kiss to his shoulder. "Did you sleep well?"   
  
Dorian hummed and turned over in the warrior's arms, his breath catching at the tender look Fenris was giving him. "Better than well. It was divine being in a bed after so long sleeping on the ground, but having you beside me made it divine."   
  
Fenris grunted and pressed a kiss to his lips, the feel of his tongue tentative against his mouth and sending jolts of pleasure straight to his groin. He moaned into the kiss, raising an embarrassed flush on his cheeks as Fenris growled and kissed him harder.    
  
He slipped a hand around Fenris' waist, tugging him closer. His other hand rested gently at the elf's nape, his fingers idly threading through Fenris' hair. "Mage." He growled, his breathing harsh as he pressed kisses along his jawline. "Do you wish to take this further or have breakfast first?"   
  
Dorian huffed against his neck. "You ask me that now?" He said at the same time a loud knock sounded at the door. Dorian froze, his pulse jumping as Fenris glared at the door, a scowl on his face.   
  
"Who's there?"   
  
"It's me elf." Varric's voice boomed from the other side. "You up yet? Hawke's leaving. Thought you might want to see her off."   
  
"I have to get dressed first." Fenris growled back at him, still scowling at the closed door.    
  
"Okay. I'll let her know you're on your way." Varric called, the sound of his footsteps retreating.   
  
Fenris sighed, bending down to kiss Dorian again. "I apologize. I thought Hawke left last night."   
  
Dorian huffed under his breath, kissing him back as Fenris got up from the bed to dress."It's not your fault. Though it does feel like someone out there is playing cruel games with our timing."   
  
Fenris chuckled as he slipped his breeches and tunic on, pausing to add his pauldrons and gauntlets before strapping his sword in place. Dorian frowned at him as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.    
  
"Is all that preparation really necessary?" He asked, getting up to pull on his own clothes. "You're not heading into battle Fenris, you're only saying goodbye to a friend."   
  
"I haven't stayed alive this long by being careless mage." Fenris replied, stopping to watch as Dorian dressed. "Danger can lurk anywhere and I won't be caught unprepared."   
  
Dorian huffed at him as he buckled his favourite shawl over his shoulder. "I can't say I understand your mindset, but I can say it sounds... well, I don't know. Rather sad?"   
  
"Sad how?" Fenris frowned, waiting with a suppressed smile as Dorian fussed with his hair and moustache in the small looking glass on the wall.   
  
"Being on guard all the time. Never able to fully relax. Our experiences are so very different Fenris... I..." Dorian cut himself off as Fenris closed the distance between them.    
  
"You think too much mage." Fenris teased, pulling him close and kissing him with a smile. "Our differences are not important. It's our mutual passion that matters now."   
  
"You're teasing me again Fenris." Dorian retorted as Fenris released him.   
  
"I know, but I would like you to meet Hawke before she goes."   
  
"You would?"    
  
"Yes." Fenris replied, fussing with his gauntlets and not meeting his eyes.   
  
"Alright. Can we at least have breakfast together afterwards?"   
  
Fenris looked up and smiled. "Of course."   
  
"Lead the way then."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
"Fenris." Hawke smiled at him as he and Dorian joined her, Varric and the Inquisitor in the courtyard. "And you must be Dorian." She said, turning to him and offering her hand in greeting. "I'm glad we got to meet before I left."   
  
Dorian shook her hand, a smile on his lips. "I wasn't aware you knew me Champion."   
  
Hawke chuckled. "Oh I don't, not really. Just rumours. And it's Hawke. I don't go by that title much anymore."   
  
"Of course. My apologies." Dorian nodded, letting his hand drop to his side. "Fenris tells me you're heading to Crestwood to meet a friend. Are you travelling alone?"   
  
Hawke narrowed her eyes at Fenris before answering. "I am. I can move faster on my own, but the Inquisitor has given me a horse and provisions to make things easier."   
  
"Well we can't have the former Champion of Kirkwall walking to Crestwood, can we?" Trevelyan smiled, winking at Hawke and making her blush.   
  
"I thought you'd left last night Hawke." Fenris interrupted, his voice hard. "Why are you still here?"   
  
"The Inquisitor insisted I stay. Travelling at night can be dangerous these days and I was tired after coming here from South Reach. Besides, I wanted to say goodbye to my favourite dwarf before I left and he'd already gone to bed."   
  
"Hawke." Varric drawled with a smirk. "You know I occasionally need my beauty sleep."   
  
"Don't be silly Varric. The chest hair is all you need to charm a young dwarf's pants off." Hawke teased. "But enough chit chat, I need to be on my way. I will send word through Leliana's ravens as soon as I make contact with my friend. Shouldn't take me more than a week to track him down."   
  
"I appreciate your assistance Hawke, as does the rest of the Inquisition." Trevelyan smiled. "Andraste guide you Champion. If you'll excuse me, I'm needed in the war room. We'll see you again soon."   
  
"Of course." Hawke nodded as the Inquisitor return to the keep.   
  
Fenris glared at Hawke, his shoulders tense. "I need to speak with you. Alone."   
  
"Fenris..." Dorian murmured at his side, frowning at him. He knew what this was about and was not happy.   
  
"Would you rather I do it here?" Fenris retorted.   
  
"Vishante kaffas. I'd rather you not do it at all, but saying that I know you'll just ignore me." Dorian retorted. "Come on Varric, I'll buy you an ale at the tavern."   
  
Varric looked between the two men, shrugging at Hawke's puzzled look. "Sure thing Sparkler, I never turn down free ale. See you Hawke and be careful, you still owe me five silvers from our last Diamondback game."   
  
"You mean the game where you cheated?" She teased.   
  
"You wound me Hawke!" Varric mock protested. "I never cheat. Sparkler, lead the way."   
  
Fenris waited for Varric and Dorian to reach the top of the stairs and disappear from view. He turned back to Hawke, leading her to a private corner of the courtyard where they could talk without being overheard.    
  
"What's going on Fenris?" She asked, glaring at him. "And why does Dorian not want you talking about it?"   
  
"Is there something going on between you and the Inquisitor?" He demanded, his brow creased with irritation.   
  
"I don't see how that's any of your business Fenris, but no there isn't. At least not yet. Why?"   
  
Fenris let out the breath he'd been holding, but the tension in his shoulders didn't change. "He behaved... inappropriately with Dorian on the trip back from Redcliff."   
  
Hawke frowned. "Inappropriately?"   
  
Fenris sighed. "Look, I know you're more than capable of handling yourself, but you should know... he... forced himself on Dorian."   
  
"He did what? And he's still breathing?"   
  
"They were drunk Hawke. It's not an excuse and I might've killed him if I'd been there... but he's the only one who can close rifts. So I only hit him." Fenris finished with a sigh, dropping his gaze to the ground. "I just... I thought you should know."   
  
"You punched the Inquisitor and he didn't have you locked up?"   
  
"He wasn't the Inquisitor at the time and he... regretted his actions after I told him what happened to Dorian in the Free Marches."   
  
"I see. Well now I understand what Dorian was upset about. Has the Inquisitor apologized to him yet?"   
  
"Not yet. Though he did arrange for us to share a rather well appointed room the day you arrived."   
  
"Well thanks for telling me Fenris, but I think I can handle a drunk Inquisitor."   
  
"That's not the only reason Hawke, I... After what happened in Kirkwall with... Anders... I just want you to be happy. I don't want to see you hurt by someone who may not be serious about it."   
  
Hawke smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "You're a good friend Fenris, but I know how to handle men like him. Honestly, I'm much more interested in your Dorian. You didn't mention how stunningly gorgeous he was."   
  
Fenris ducked his head, hiding his eyes beneath his fringe as a blush crept up his cheeks. "Hawke..."   
  
"Oh Fen, it's no fun teasing you when you blush like that. Seriously though, he seems nice."   
  
"Nice?" Fenris frowned, looking up. "Isn't that just a polite way of saying you don't like someone?"   
  
"No, I mean it. I've never seen you so at ease at someone's side before. Well, someone that isn't me at least. And you seem happy, if a little stressed."   
  
"I told you before Hawke, I've no idea what I'm doing."   
  
"He's letting you share his secrets with me Fenris, that's not nothing. It's obvious he trusts you. He might not be happy about it, but he didn't throw a fit and he knows you well enough not to argue. How many of our friends accepted that about you in Kirkwall?"   
  
"Not many." Fenris grunted, surprised by how pleased he was by this new insight.   
  
"I don't think you have anything to worry about Fen. Just be yourself. Everything will fall into place as it's meant to."   
  
"Thank you Hawke, and I apologize for burdening you with my troubles again."   
  
"Nonsense. We're friends. Now, as much as I'd love to continue this, I need to get going. Corypheus isn't going to stop himself."   
  
"More's the pity." Fenris huffed, making Hawke smile.   
  
"See you elf." Hawke said, mounting her horse. "Take care."   
  
"Safe journey Hawke and be careful."   
  
"Aren't I always?"   



	41. Chapter 41

Dorian settled in a chair on the second floor of the Herald's Rest. Seated across from Varric, he sipped at the red wine he'd ordered while Varric thirstily gulped his ale.   
  
"So... you and the elf?" Varric drawled, arching an eyebrow.   
  
"Me and the elf what Varric?" Dorian countered.   
  
Varric chuckled. "So it's like that is it? Never mind. I'm just surprised is all. I never pictured the angry glowing elf from Tevinter calming down enough to get close to someone. And definitely not with a mage from the Imperium."   
  
"We have something in common then. I never pictured anything with anyone, in or out of Tevinter. And never with a former slave." He added, drinking deeply from his wine.   
  
"Not anyone?" Varric wondered aloud. "I find that hard to believe. I might prefer women myself, but I'd have to be blind not to see your various charms."   
  
"Well of course you noticed, I am me after all and I do try to dress the part." Dorian preened, a small smile on his lips. "But no, never. Things are very different in the Imperium, not like the South at all with the respect and apathy most of you have for same sex relations."   
  
"They look down on that sort of thing back home?"   
  
"That's putting it mildly."   
  
"Hmpf, alright I'll drop it. Can I ask what the elf wanted to tell Hawke about? Seems like you knew."   
  
"I do, but unless Hawke chooses to tell you, I'd rather not." Dorian murmured.    
  
"Don't worry about it. I've been told I stick my nose in where it doesn't belong more times than I can count. You'd think I'd quit before someone decides I need a more forceful reason to keep my mouth shut, such as rearranging my face."   
  
Dorian chuckled. "That face? No one would dare. Besides, I understand your interest, she's your friend."   
  
Varric nodded. "One of the best friends I've ever had. I worry about her travelling alone. Hawke has an uncanny and unfortunate knack for getting herself neck deep in trouble."   
  
"Hasn't she been on her own for a while now though?"   
  
"Yeah." Varric sighed. "I wish she'd have at least tried to connect with some of our mutual friends over the past year or so, but you can't tell Hawke what to do. I know she's lonely and that she spent a lot of time blaming herself for what Blondie did. At least she wasn't alone for that. Stayed in Denerim with King Alistair. They kept each other company while she helped the Warden with his research on the taint and red lyrium.  Not the most positive way to spend your time, but it kept her busy for a while."   
  
"Is that how she met this Warden she's meeting in Crestwood?"   
  
"I assume so. She never told me much  about it, plus everything she did with the Hero was secret. The Warden didn't want anyone knowing what he was up to."   
  
"No wonder you tell such outrageous stories Varric. It must be maddening knowing all these obscure things and being unable to share them with anyone."   
  
Varric laughed. "It's a burden I bear with a smile."   
  
"What burden would that be Varric?" Fenris interrupted as he took a seat beside Dorian. "Your guilt for how often you cheat at Wicked Grace?"   
  
"Oh! You wound me elf!" Varric sighed. "I never cheat."   
  
"You've spent far too much time with Isabella dwarf. You sound just like her when you deny it."   
  
"What can I say? Rivaini is a good teacher." Varric replied with a smile.   
  
"So we're drinking before breakfast now?" Fenris grunted, fixing both of them with a stern glare.   
  
"Hey now! I was merely accepting Sparkler's generous offer of a free ale, so don't be glaring at me elf."   
  
Fenris huffed but continued glaring at him.    
  
"What?" Varric whined. "Why do I feel the sudden urge to apologize?"   
  
"Your book," Fenris growled. "Has caused me no end of trouble Varric, and that's without counting the lies you put in it."   
  
"What lies?" Varric stammered, trying not to be obvious as he leaned away from the table.   
  
"The one about Isabella."   
  
"Oh that. Well, that's just entertainment value elf. Readers love that kind of thing."   
  
"But it's a lie Varric and I never felt that way about Isabella, nor she for me."   
  
"Not even a little?"   
  
Fenris narrowed his eyes. "No."   
  
"Oookay..." Varric nodded. "In that case, I apologize. Though that can't be the reason for the... trouble you mentioned."   
  
"That damned book of yours has made me recognizable everywhere in Thedas dwarf. Someone put a price on my head in Tantervale."   
  
"Really?" Varric mused, seemingly unconcerned. "You don't say."   
  
"Varric."   
  
The dwarf sighed, dropping his gaze and staring down at his hands a moment before looking up again. "Alright, alright. I get it, I've made things complicated for you."   
  
Dorian snorted into his wine glass. "Complicated?"   
  
"Fine Sparkler, I meant to say dangerous." Varric paused. "Would you settle for a share of the royalties... as opposed to just putting your fist in my chest?"   
  
"Depends on the share." Fenris grunted, a smirk on his lips.   
  
"What would you say to ten percent?"   
  
"I'd say I don't believe you. You're a dwarf and ten percent of nothing is still nothing."   
  
Varric snorted. "I assure you, it's not nothing. So, will you take it?"   
  
"I'll probably regret it later, but yes, I'll take it."   
  
"Good." Varric sighed, relieved. "Glad that's over with, I'll have something for you by tomorrow elf.  So, what say we blow this place and see if there's any breakfast left in the main hall?"   
  
"You've got my vote." Dorian agreed, getting to his feet. "I'm famished and someone promised me breakfast together."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
"Well this is nice." Dorian murmured between mouthful of sweet cakes, his eyes twinkling as he met Fenris' shy smile.   
  
"Good thing we got here when we did." Varric agreed, polishing off the slice of ham on his plate. "Another twenty minutes and I'd have to bribe one of the kitchen dwarves to fetch us some food."   
  
"Bribe?" Fenris repeated, washing down the last of his meal with a mug of hot tea. "What's the going rate for kitchen bribery Varric?"   
  
Varric snorted. "Couple coppers. But with you two added to it? Probably a silver."   
  
"And just how often do you employ bribery for food delivery?" Dorian asked, pushing his plate aside.   
  
"Not often. Most of the time they'll do it in trade."   
  
Fenris grunted. "Trade for what?"   
  
"Information. They usually want to know how safe the roads or other part of Ferelden are these days."   
  
"Interesting." Dorian mused. "And you can provide that for them?"   
  
"I have my ways Sparkler."   
  
"All those elvhen urchins hmm?" Fenris teased.   
  
Varric snorted. "Something like that."   
  
"Sorry to interrupt your breakfast messere’s, but Lady Josephine would like to see Lord Pavus in her office." An auburn haired boy said, stopping at their table.   
  
Dorian smiled, setting down his mug of coffee and getting to his feet. "Quite all right young man. I've just finished."    
  
Fenris rose and stepped to his side, his shoulders tense. "Tell Lady Josephine we're on our way."   
  
The boy flushed but didn't move. "Apologies Serah Fenris, but she wishes to speak to Lord Pavus in private."   
  
Dorian put a light hand to Fenris' arm. "It's fine Fenris. It's only Josephine."   
  
"Dorian..."   
  
Dorian frowned and leaned close to hiss in his ear. "You're making a scene and over-reacting."   
  
Fenris scowled but gave him a slight nod. "I'll be here when you return."   
  
Dorian huffed at him, narrowing his eyes in annoyance, but nodded his agreement. "Fine. But we're talking about this later."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
Josephine rose from her desk and greeted him as he crossed the floor of her office. "Dorian. Thank you for coming so quickly. If you'll follow me, the Inquisitor is waiting for you in the War Room."   
  
Dorian step faltered as he came to a halt in the hallway leading to the giant door at the end. "Why? What's this about?"   
  
"Apologies, but he didn't say. I assure you it won't take long." Josephine said, frowning at him. "Is something wrong?"   
  
"No, no. Nothing's wrong." He stammered.   
  
She narrowed her eyes at him, clearly not convinced. "Alright. I'll leave you to go the rest of the way on your own then."   
  
"Thank you." Dorian murmured as he straightened his back and marched the remaining distance to the War Room. His palms were damp as he eased the giant door open, his heart having started thumping in his chest knowing who was on the other side. He couldn't quell the rising tension in his shoulders, nor hide the suspicion he knew was plain in his eyes as he stepped into the room and tensed further on seeing they were alone.   
  
Nothing but the soft sigh and click of the giant door latching closed behind him interrupted the seemingly peaceful scene and yet he felt as though he were about to go into battle. "Inquisitor." He said, inwardly wincing at how nervous he sounded. "Lady Josephine said you wished to speak to me."   
  
Alex nodded, straightening up from where he'd been leaning against the far side of the War Table. "I do." He said, his voice quiet. "We haven't spoken for a while. Not since we came back from Redcliff."   
  
"No, we haven't."   
  
"Fenris... explained a few things to me after the avalanche buried Haven. I... am deeply sorry for what happened in the Hinterlands Dorian. If I wasn't such a coward, I would have apologized sooner for what I did."   
  
Dorian grunted. "Honestly, it's not entirely your fault you know. I could have refused the whiskey you offered. I... suspected what might happen if I went along with it."   
  
"That doesn't make it okay Dorian. I didn't know why you arrived at Haven with an elf who is well-known for his hatred of mages. I know you said it was personal, but I should have paid more attention to how reserved you were. I'm supposed to be good at that sort of thing. I'm a rogue, I know how to read people. But with you... I just... I didn't. I have no excuse for that."   
  
"Really, Inquisitor. If it's all the same to you, I'd rather just put what happened behind us."   
  
"That's very generous of you, but I can't just forget it. Anything you need from me, you will have. No questions asked. I've also directed Josephine to secure a supplier for Tevinter wine. Both you and Fenris will have access to it."   
  
"Really Inquisitor, I must protest. I know what my presence here is doing to your reputation. Showing favouritism to me will only make it worse."   
  
"That is something that will not be tolerated either." Alex scowled. "If anyone has a problem with either you or Fenris, they are not welcome here."   
  
Dorian huffed at him as he approached the War table. "I understand you want to... make amends but..."   
  
"I did you a great wrong Dorian and you are a valuable asset to our cause. As is Fenris. Without you, Corypheus would have control of all the mages and we would know nothing of his future plans."   
  
"You can't know that for sure. You might have stopped him if you'd recruited the Templars instead." Dorian argued.   
  
"Perhaps." Alex nodded. "But then we might not have you or Fenris on our side. I value both of your expertise too much to regret my decision to side with the mages."   
  
Dorian let loose an exasperated breath. "Fine. It seems there's no dissuading you from this course of action. Just please be discreet about it. I may not agree this is wise, but I won't refuse it as an apology either."   
  
"Good." Alex smiled. "Now that that's settled, a letter has come to my attention. It's for you."   
  
"A letter for me?" Dorian frowned. "Who would write me here?"   
  
"It's from your father."   
  
"My father?" Dorian repeated, his voice icy. "Where is this letter?"   
  
"Here." Alex said, handing it to him. "I'm afraid both Mother Giselle and I have already read it."   
  
Dorian quickly scanned the contents, his irritation increasing. "Why in the Void did Mother Giselle have my letter?"   
  
"Your father sent it to her."   
  
"Vishante kaffas!" Dorian swore. "That's all I need. For that stuck up, meddling, busy body... mage hating mother knowing my secrets."   
  
"She won't interfere Dorian, but if you decide to meet this retainer, I have to insist you take someone with you."   
  
"Do you now?" Dorian sneered. "So you apologize and then tell me what to do?"   
  
Alex crossed his arms over his chest, a frown creasing his brow. "Don't be an ass Dorian. It's obvious something's going on here. I don't pretend I know anything about your family, but sending that to a Chantry mother and asking that you not be told about it is more than just suspicious. More than that, as I said before, you are a valuable and trusted ally. I won't allow you to put yourself in danger when it can easily be avoided."   
  
Dorian huffed at him, casting his eyes back to the letter he held. "I see. I suppose that means you plan to accompany me then? "   
  
"I have no plans to interfere other than to ensure you don't go alone. Besides which, this seems a very personal matter and I expect you would prefer if this was kept as quiet as possible."   
  
"Well, you are right about that." Dorian agreed. "Very well. If I decide to go, I will let you know. Now, was there anything else you wished to discuss?"   
  
"No, that's all of it." Alex sighed. "I apologize again for what happened Dorian. And I'm sorry if it hurt you in any way."   
  
"Thank you Alex." Dorian murmured. "It may not seem like it, but I do appreciate knowing you regret what happened."   
  
"Good." Alex smiled. "And if there's anything you need, please let me know."   
  
"I will." Dorian nodded, heading for the door. "Good day Inquisitor."   



	42. Chapter 42

Fenris lounged by the fire at Varric's table, his mind on Dorian and whatever Josephine had needed him for. He knew he was probably overreacting, but his instincts had never been wrong before and the unusual request had made him uneasy. Whatever Josephine wanted, he doubted it was good news.  
  
"Elf, I'm sure whatever Ruffles wanted him for is perfectly innocent." Varric drawled from across the table.   
  
Fenris snorted and leveled a derisive glare at him. "Of course it is. That's why it had to be a private meeting."   
  
"You know Fenris, you seem to have gotten more cynical since last I saw you. Or is it just when it involves Sparkler?"   
  
Fenris rolled his eyes and sat up straighter. "Only when it involves politics and bureaucracy."   
  
Varric snorted. "Now that's the most sensible thing I've heard you say yet."   
  
Fenris grunted, his attention back on the door to Josephine's office when Dorian appeared. He straightened, waiting for him to make his way back to their table, readying a smile for him. But Dorian didn't even glance in his direction as he crossed the hall and disappeared through the door which would take him up to the library.   
  
"Uh... I take it back elf. Guess you're not paranoid after all." Varric said, his eyes tracking Dorian as he disappeared through the door.   
  
"If you'll excuse me?" Fenris said, getting to his feet and pushing his way past the nobles in the grand hall.   
  
"Sure. Let me know how it goes."   
  
Fenris grunted, but didn't turn back as he slipped through the door and up the stairs. There was no sign of Dorian in the library and the Tranquil mage, Helisma, hadn't seen him. Hurrying now, he stalked back the way he'd come, passing by Vivienne who watched him go with a bemused look on her face.   
  
He reached their room seconds after it had clicked shut and entered to see Dorian seated by the cold hearth, a piece of parchment clutched in his hand. He looked up as Fenris entered, but his expression remained impassive.   
  
"Dorian?" He asked, easing the door shut behind him as he took a seat in the other chair. "What is it? Is something wrong?"   
  
"You could say that." He replied with  pained sigh, still staring at the paper. "I'd hoped I wouldn't have to do this."   
  
Fenris frowned, shifting closer to him. "Do what?"   
  
"Discuss my father." He said, holding up the letter he held. "Here, it will be easier if you read this."   
  
Fenris took the paper, turning the letter in his hand to catch the light and began reading. Dorian got to his feet and retrieved a bottle of brandy from the side table, returning to his chair with it and two glasses. He poured each of them a small portion, lifting the glass to his lips, his gaze intense as he watched Fenris read.   
  
The warrior met his stare, his eyes holding an element of confusion. "Your father sent this to a Chantry Mother and asked her to trick you into going to Redcliff?"   
  
"Apparently."   
  
"If Mother Giselle had this, how did you get it?"   
  
"The Inquisitor gave it to me." Dorian sighed, meeting Fenris' gaze.   
  
Fenris tensed instantly. "You met with the Inquisitor and not Josephine?"   
  
Dorian passed him the other glass of brandy and nodded. "Yes, it was a ruse. No, I wasn't in danger. He apologized profusely, offered me anything I might need and then showed me the letter. Both he and Mother Giselle have read it."   
  
Fenris sipped the brandy, his face unreadable. "Are you really considering going to Redcliff? Didn't he attempt blood magic on you?"   
  
Dorian groaned and got to his feet. He flicked his wrist at the hearth, setting fire to the bits of wood there before leaning against the mantle to stare at the flames. "I don't want to meet the retainer Fenris... but I would rather that than have my father show up here. It's highly unlikely he would deign to come this far, but... I've been wrong about him before. Very wrong."   
  
Fenris got up, joining him at the hearth. "If you go, you aren't going alone Dorian."   
  
Dorian tensed but didn't move away from him, still staring at the flames. "That's what the Inquisitor said. You probably think I'm mad for even considering it."   
  
"Nothing could have stopped me from killing Danarius when the opportunity arrived Dorian. But he was my Master, not my father. I cannot advise you in this."   
  
Dorian groaned, his shoulders tensing. "I knew you'd say that."   
  
"You know me that well, do you?" Fenris teased, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.   
  
"Well, no... but..." He stammered, seemingly flustered he'd spoken the words aloud. "I mean I would expect anyone who knew what my father did to think I'm mad."   
  
"You're not mad Dorian." Fenris replied, his voice softer. "You left under trying circumstances. I think what you want is closure."   
  
Dorian snorted and crossed the room to stare out the small window. "I don't think closure is the right word in this instance."   
  
"Confrontation then?" Fenris continued, joining him at the window. "A chance to demand answers from a place where you aren't in danger from him?"   
  
Dorian turned to look at him then, a deep but unreadable emotion in his eyes. "I'm not sure I can do that."   
  
Fenris frowned. "Do what?"   
  
"Confront him. Besides, it's a family retainer. Even if I do give him a piece of my mind, that doesn't mean my father will ever hear it."   
  
"So we're going then."   
  
"I never said that." Dorian protested.   
  
"You don't have to."   
  
A knock sounded at the door then, drawing both their attention away from each other.   
  
"Who is it?"   
  
"Messenger, messere’s." A young male voice called out. "Is Serah Fenris there?"   
  
"One moment!" Fenris barked, casting a long-suffering look at Dorian. "Apologies."   
  
"Stop that." Dorian huffed. "You can no more control messengers, than I can control the weather, stop apologizing for it."   
  
Fenris grunted and crossed to the door, though his eyes sparkled with pleasure at Dorian's words.   
  
"What do you want?" He barked at the messenger.   
  
"The Inquisitor and the Nightingale wish to see you in the war room Serah. They said for you to come straight away." The flush-faced recruit stammered, his posture so straight Fenris thought he must have a sword strapped to his back   
  
"Very well. Tell them I'm on my way."   
  
"I... was to wait for you Serah." The boy stammered.   
  
"I know where the War Room is boy, I do not need an escort." Fenris growled. "Now go, and give them my message."   
  
"Yessir... Serah sir." He stammered again, hurrying away as Fenris shut the door.   
  
Dorian was smirking at him when he turned back to the room. "You enjoy intimidating people don't you?"   
  
"Only when they're irritating." Fenris retorted.   
  
"What do you suppose the Inquisitor wants to see you about?"   
  
"Maker knows." Fenris huffed, grabbing his sword and strapping it in place. "You'll be here when I've finished?"   
  
"Maybe." Dorian replied. "I'm feeling a bit out of sorts. I might drag Varric to the Herald's Rest, it's been that sort of day."   
  
"Alright." Fenris nodded. "Can't say I didn't expect it. I'll see you there then."   
  
"Right. See you Fenris."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
Fenris pushed open the War Room door to find both the Inquisitor and the Spymaster staring at a man on the other side of the room. The Inquisitor inclined his head as he entered, acknowledging his arrival before turning his attention back to the stranger.   
  
Fenris frowned and said nothing, staring at the man who was dressed in full warrior armour. His auburn hair was shorn on the back and sides with a short mop of curls on top. The warrior's eyes widened in surprise when he saw Fenris, his mouth dropping open as though to say something but no sound came forth.   
  
"Thank you for coming Serah Fenris." The Inquisitor said. "As you can see we have a guest."   
  
"We were hoping you might me able to help us determine the truth behind what he's told us about himself and the others with him." Leliana added, her eyes narrowed at the man.   
  
"This is Kremisius Aclassi, or Krem for short. He says he's formerly of Tevinter but is now in charge of a mercenary company called the Chargers." The Inquisitor added, crossing his arms over his chest. "He said he and his company are here to offer their services to the Inquisition."   
  
"He also said he knew you." Leliana added, her eyes like ice as she stared at the warrior.   
  
"He lied." Fenris grunted. "I do not know this man, though I've heard that last name before."   
  
"I never said I knew Serah Fenris." Krem protested.   
  
"Yes you did." The Inquisitor retorted. "We both heard you."   
  
Krem blushed, his jaw clenching and relaxing as he looked away from their stares. "Okay, well maybe I did, but I didn't mean that I knew him, knew him. I meant I'd heard of him and knew his reputation."   
  
"So you lied " Leliana snapped. "That was unwise."   
  
"Clearly." Krem replied. "My men and I have come from the Free Marches. We caught wind of rumours about the Lyrium Ghost and we saw the wanted poster in Tantervale."   
  
"So what then? You planned to collect on this reward?"   
  
Krem snorted. "Venhedis, no. We followed up on the individual who put up the reward. Had a few words with him, along with some not so subtle threats and he... saw the error of his ways."   
  
"Why?" Fenris growled, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.   
  
"Tevinter has too many slaves as it is. Anyone working to put slavers out of business will always have the support of the Chargers."   
  
"And what would you know of Tevinter?" Fenris challenged.   
  
"I know I'd rather be Lieutenant of the Chargers than return there and be tried for desertion." Krem retorted.   
  
" _Ad quod damnum_?" Fenris asked, quirking a brow at him.   
  
" _Damnant quod non intelligunt_."   
  
" _Carpe diem_ then?"   
  
Krem chuckled, ducking his head. "Quite."   
  
"What was that?" The Inquisitor asked, drawing their attention.   
  
"If I'm not mistaken, I believe Serah Fenris was just confirming Master Acclasius' claims." Leliana answered, her eyes meeting Fenris'. "That was Tevene wasn't it?"   
  
"It was." Fenris nodded.   
  
"Well then, if that's settled, I need to return to the rookery." Leliana said. "If you'll excuse me Inquisitor?"   
  
"Of course." Trevelyan nodded, turning his attention back to Krem. "Was that all you came here for? To let Serah Fenris know your Chargers dealt with the problem in the Free Marches or is there more?"   
  
"Actually Your Worship, we were also wanting to offer our services to the Inquisition. Our rates are reasonable and we're loyal to our employers."   
  
"You think we need a mercenary company?" Trevekan asked, looking annoyed.   
  
"We heard what happened in Haven and that there's some question about a few survivors who might have been part of Corypheus' forces. My men and I are mobile enough on our own that we could check it out. We could also investigate the rumours coming out of Therinfal Redoubt if it was something you also wanted investigated."   
  
Trevelyan frowned, mulling over what Krem had said. "Well I can see the potential benefits, if not the motivation behind it."   
  
"The world might be ending Your Worship. I think wanting to stop that from happening is motivation enough." Krem countered.   
  
"You've made your point." Trevelyan sighed. "Fenris, please take Krem to see Josephine. If she thinks your services are needed and valuable enough, she'll be the one making the final decision on this."   
  
"Thank you Inquisitor." Krem smiled, moving to the door.   
  
"Inquisitor." Fenris nodded as he joined Krem in the hallway. He glanced at the warrior mercenary at his side, still suspicious. "I get the distinct impression you have more to tell me."   
  
Krem nodded, his face grim. "I do. But I didn't think you'd want me to  share it with the Inquisition. Is there somewhere we can talk in private after I see Josephine?"   
  
"Herald's Rest, second floor." Fenris grunted.   
  
"If your mage friend is here, don't bring him. I'll leave it to you if you want him to know what I told you after we speak."   
  
Fenris narrowed his eyes, his shoulders tensing. "What do you know about him?"   
  
Krem frowned. "I promise, I'll tell you everything. Just not here." He said as they stepped into Josephine's office.   
  
"Fine, I'll meet you there. He might already be there though. If so, this discussion you wish to have will have to wait."   
  
"Fair enough."   
  
"Lady Josephine, this is Kremisius Aclassi." Fenris said, leading Krem to get desk. "The Inquisitor asked that you speak with him about his proposal. If you think what he's offering is useful, he's left it to you to make the final decision."   
  
"I see. Thank you Serah Fenris. Messere Aclassi, please make yourself comfortable and we'll get to business."   
  
"Thank you My Lady." Krem smiled, taking a seat. "See you later Fenris."   
  
"Indeed."

 

___________

_*Ad quod damnum = To what damage_

_*Damnant quod non intelligunt = They condemn what they do not understand_

_*carpe diem = seize the day_

 

 


	43. Chapter 43

"Alright spill it." Varric grumbled as they seated themselves at a table. "What happened with Josephine?"   
  
"Wasn't Josephine." Dorian sighed. "It was the Inquisitor."   
  
"Messere's?" The barmaid asked. "What can I get you? Wine? Ale perhaps?"   
  
"I don't suppose you could bring us a pot of coffee?" Dorian asked, giving her a smile.   
  
Her eyebrows shot up and she blinked for a moment before giving him a nod. "Of course my Lord. Right away." She finally said, hurrying off.   
  
"Coffee?"    
  
"Well it's a bit early for more alcohol don't you think? We only just had breakfast."   
  
"Sparkler, you never cease to surprise me." Varric chuckled. "So... the Inquisitor?"   
  
"Personal matter. He had a letter for me."   
  
"Nope. Not guarded at all, butting out now. So, change of subject. What do you think of the Inquisition?"   
  
"The people or what it represents?" Dorian asked with an amused smile.   
  
"Both of course." Varric smiled back, nodding his thanks as the barmaid set down their coffee and left.   
  
"Well it's a bit rebellious don't you think? Abandoning the Chantry, building a military force, recruiting all the apostates to hunt a, until now, presumed dead Magister. Some are calling it heretical. I know many of my countrymen are watching to see which side wins."   
  
"So they can fight over what's left?"   
  
"Oh they won't fight, they'll just swoop in and claim whatever isn't well-defended."   
  
Varric laughed. "I've got friends who tell me swooping is bad."   
  
"They're right." Dorian replied, sipping at the coffee Varric had poured. "Truthfully though, I think they've done an admirable job building this into a force to be reckoned with. It may have sprung from ashes but I think the foundations are stronger than they appear. Once word of the Inquisitor's successes reach the right people, they'll be flocking here to show their unreserved support."   
  
"And when the big bad is dealt with?"   
  
"They'll turn on you like a rabid dog." Fenris answered as he joined them, taking a seat on Dorian's left. "You ordered coffee?"   
  
Dorian frowned at him. "You don't have to sound so surprised. But Fenris took the words right out of my mouth Varric. It might take a while, but eventually the allies we gain will turn on the Inquisition. It's basic survival instinct."   
  
"To what? Use you for their own purpose and then toss you aside like you're nothing?" Fenris sneered as he sipped his coffee and stared into his mug, making Dorian narrow his eyes at him.   
  
"No. To look to someone else to shoulder all the responsibility. Then when the danger has passed, to see the force that saved you as a new threat to be feared."   
  
"Sounds the same to me." Fenris snorted.   
  
This time it was Varric eyeing the warrior with suspicion. "You wanna share with the rest of the class elf? Something happen to piss you off?"   
  
"No."   
  
"Yeah sure, I'm convinced." Varric snorted sarcastically, downing more coffee.   
  
"Well I'm not." Dorian retorted. "What did the Inquisitor want Fenris?"   
  
"Nothing important."   
  
"Then why are you angry?"   
  
"I'm not angry."   
  
"So we just imagined the last five minutes then?"   
  
"He and Leliana had me meet someone who says he took care of the wanted poster in Tantervale."   
  
"What do you mean "took care of"?"   
  
Fenris grunted and met Dorian's eyes. "The poster is gone and so is the reward. No one is looking for me now."   
  
Dorian snorted. "Yes. That clears up everything. You know what? Don't bother saying anything else. It's obvious you have no interest in explaining what's going on with you. Excuse me Varric. Thank you for the coffee."   
  
"Dorian..." Fenris protested, though he made no move to stop him leaving, drawing a disappointed huff of annoyance from Varric.   
  
"That was pitiful elf. After all that defending Dorian crap you fed me earlier... what the hell was that?"   
  
"Necessary."   
  
"Shit elf. I'm with Sparkler on this one. I don't wanna know." Varric huffed, getting to his feet. "Enjoy the coffee."   
  
\----xxx----   
  
Fenris scowled his way to the second floor, snagging a glass of wine on the way up, hoping to drown his irritation before reaching Krem. He downed half the glass before he reached the warrior's table, the wine doing nothing to cool his temper.   
  
"I got Dorian out of the tavern. This information you have better bloody well be worth it Vint."   
  
"You irritated him to get him to leave?" Krem asked with a frown.   
  
"Not your business. Tell me what's so important you didn't want him hearing it."   
  
"Can I assume you worked out what we were doing in Tantervale?"   
  
"Suspicions only."   
  
Krem nodded, letting out the breath he'd been holding. "We found the cave and the bodies. Followed a hasty trail to a second camp, backtracked to another camp where there'd been a localized fire."   
  
"Venhedis." Fenris swore. "Why?"   
  
"You know the Hissrad left that first camp. Where do you think he went?"   
  
"Fasta vaas." Fenris swore again. "How many?"   
  
"As far as I and my men could determine, just one." Krem replied. "But she's as tenacious and as formidable as an entire beresaad."   
  
"Does she have a name?"   
  
Krem nodded into his whisky but didn't look happy about it. "That was much harder to discover and not nearly as comforting."   
  
"Get on with it Vint." Fenris grunted.   
  
"As you probably already know, she's part of the Beresaad. She started as that group's Tamassran, but proved better at... other things the longer she was with the Ben-Hassrath. We only found one individual willing to talk about her. He said her companions often referred to her as sataareth, but her name officially is Isskari or Hissra."   
  
"Vashedan." Fenris swore, downing the last of his wine. "She has that many names? What name would you give her?"   
  
Krem sighed. "Thing is, they all apply. But if you want the most accurate, according to the man we spoke with, it's Katari. And she always recovers what she's set out to retrieve. Always."   
  
"And she's looking for the mage the Hissrad had taken captive."   
  
"And the one who freed him and killed the Ben-Hassrath." Krem added. "It's one of the reasons we took care of that wanted poster. You're infamous in the Free Marches and Tevinter. If she saw the bodies you left behind, she knows who you are."   
  
"And did she see the bodies?"   
  
Krem shrugged. "We can't be certain, but it's likely she did."   
  
"Vishante kaffas." Fenris swore again. "So I have an angry, tenacious and highly skilled Qunari hunting me."   
  
"You know it's only a matter of time before she finds you."   
  
"And how do I know she hasn't hired you to help her?"   
  
"We don't work for Qunari and she has no use for bas. I've also seen what they do to those who refuse to convert. They're savages who cannot be reasoned with. Far as me and my men are concerned the only good Qunari is a dead one, especially those of the Ben-Hassrath."   
  
"That sounds personal."   
  
"It is. We lost a few of our men to them a year back. Ended up having to kill them after they'd been converted to the qun when they ambushed us outside Antiva. Well, those they didn't use qamek on."   
  
"That must've been... unpleasant."   
  
"It was." Krem paused. "One more thing...  _ dictum meum pactum _ Fenris."   
  
"I require  _ acta non verba _ ." Fenris retorted.   
  
"What action would you ask of me then?"   
  
Fenris stared into his wine glass, his brow furrowed in thought. "Despite your bad news, I need assistance with something else. Are you willing?"   
  
"What's the job?"   
  
"Dorian received a letter. He's to meet with a family retainer in Redcliff."   
  
"And you want to make sure it's not a trap."   
  
"Yes." Fenris grunted. "And the less who know about this the better."   
  
"We can check it out. Make sure it's safe. What should we be looking for?"   
  
"Tevinter mages. There should only be one if there's any."   
  
"I take it things aren't friendly between Dorian and his family."   
  
"You could say that."   
  
"Got it. If we find anything we'll get a message to you when you stable the horses."   
  
"If it's not a trap, I would appreciate it if you and your men watched our backs for this rogue Qunari on our return to Skyhold, but I don't want Dorian knowing you're there. You can introduce yourself after we return to the keep."   
  
"Understood Fenris. We'll head out first thing tomorrow."   
  
"Good." Fenris grunted, getting to his feet. "Thank you for... "   
  
"Don't worry about it." Krem said, waving him off. "Not exactly good news I've delivered. See you when we get back to Skyhold."   
  
_____________   
_ Dictum meum pactum = my word is my bond _ _   
_ _ Acta non verba = deeds not words _ _   
_ _ Beresaad = vanguard of the antaam _ _   
_ _ Isskari = rank within the qun; retrieval of magical artifacts _ _   
_ _ Hissra = Illusion _ _   
_ _ Sataareth = enforcer, defender, "one who upholds" _ _   
_ __ Katari = one who brings death

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment or leave kudos! I love hearing from readers and your input lets me know someone is reading my work and not just accidentally clicking. (Just a friendly note from a writer who writes a lot.)  
> =)
> 
> *For the foreseeable future, updates will be a little less frequent as time and real life permits. Thanks for reading.


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